What do you think about my resume? How can I make it better?

Question

OBJECTIVE
I am seeking a position where I can utilize my skills and experience while continuing to grow professionally
EDUCATION
Queens Academy of the Outreach Program September 2001-January 2003
High School Diploma
Queens Vocational and Technical H.S. September 1998 - June 2001
Major: Business
QUALIFICATIONS
Communications
•Greeted potential and existing barbershop clients
•Answered high volume of telephone calls for barbershop
•Scheduled appointments for barbershop clients
•Acted as translator when needed with Spanish speaking clients
•Worked closely with clients in barbershop ensuring their satisfaction
Computers
•Updated patient records into hospital system
•Knowledge of Microsoft Word, and Photo Studio
•Typing speed a minimum of 50 wpm
Management
•Maintained flow of clients during barbershop business hours
•Assisted with setting up and preparation of child care activities
•In charge of maintaining play areas in a clean and safe condition for children in child care program
•Provided continuous supervision to children
•Assisted with training new barbershop employees
Creative Projects
•Specialized in the art of hair braiding
•Styled hair for clients
•Created hair designs for clients
•Developed website profiles as advertisement for braiding work
•Constructed a book used as a style guide for clients
EXPERIENCE
Hair Braider, Corona Barbershop Plus, Jackson Heights, NY October 2003 - Present
Hair Braider, Finess Barbershop, Corona, NY May 2001- August 2002
Data Entry Clerk, Elmhurst Hospital, Elmhurst, NY September 1999 – April 2000
Child Care Assistant, Our Lady of Sorrow Church, Corona, NY June 1999 – August 1999
REFERENCES
References are available upon request

Answer 1

Too repetative, if you'd like I can really help you hook it up, but only cause your from Queens!!! give me a shout [e-mail]
List your jobs under experience and then list the job functions with bullets, it will make your resume look more structured.

Answer 2

In my opinion, your resume shows that you have been "job hopping." It lacks stability at one place of employment to another. Based on when you completed high school, it shows that you are fairly young. My advice, if you are seeking long-term stable employment, make sure you express your desire when interviewing. Also, I hope you are able to further your education. I reformatted your resume a bit. Take a look at my suggestions. Best wishes to you!


Seeking a professional position utilizing my diverse experience while continuing to grow professionally.

EDUCATION AND TRAINING:
Queens Academy of the Outreach Program
September 2001-January 2003
High School Diploma
Queens Vocational and Technical H.S.
September 1998 - June 2001
Major: Business

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE:
Corona Barbershop Plus, Jackson Heights, NY
Hair Stylist/Braider
October 2003 - Present
•Greeted potential and existing clients.
•Answered high volume of telephone calls.
•Scheduled appointments and maintained calendar.
•Acted as translator with Spanish speaking clients
•Maintained customer satisfaction standards.
•Assisted with training new barbershop employees.
•Specialized in the art of hair braiding
•Styled hair for clients
•Created hair designs for clients
•Developed website profiles as advertisement for braiding work
•Constructed a book used as a style guide for clients

Data Entry Clerk, Elmhurst Hospital, Elmhurst, NY September 1999 – April 2000
•Created and updated patient records in hospital database.
•Knowledge of Microsoft Word, and Photo Studio.
•Typed 50 words per minute.

Our Lady of Sorrow Church, Corona, NY
Child Care Assistant,
June 1999 – August 1999
•Assisted with setting up and preparation of child care activities
•In charge of maintaining play areas in a clean and safe condition for children in child care program
•Provided continuous supervision to children

REFERENCES
References are available upon request

Answer 3

Hi.

Congrats on getting your resume done and having it critiqued!

First, the info you have now is perfect but I recommend restructuring some of the info for clarity and conciseness. Here are some suggestions for you to consider:

Make Objective, education, experience, computer skills, and languages your main headings.

OBJECTIVE, change your objective to be more specific to the position you are applying for and more attractive to potential employers. For example, if you are applying to a secretary position you might want to say To use my customer service experiences and computer skills to work for a company that offers professional growth opportunities.
EDUCATION, make sure to say whether you have already obtained or are currently pursuing a degree or certificate from your vocational school. Example, Pursuing __(title of certificate, degree, or license)
EXPERIENCE, good job! however, instead of listing management as a heading and listing duties that you've had in the past, tie specific duties to their corresponding positions. For Example,
Hair Braider, Corona Barbershop Plus....
-Maintained flow of clients
-Created hair designs ETC.
do this after every position so that you have mini paragraphs so that the interviewer can get a clearer idea of what you did and learned in each position.
COMPUTER SKILLS be skill specific, not duty specific.
For example you might say updated patient records write below your data entry clerk position but under computer skills simply say "data entry," 50 WPM, Microsoft Word proficient
LANGUAGES choose one of these and make sure to list any other languages you may speak other than english: Conversational Spanish; Spanish to English transalation, Fluent in Spanish (choose this ONLY if you can read and write it)

GOOD LUCK GIRL! :)

Answer 4

Try to get things to a smaller line. The quicker they can scan, the better it is.

For example, instead of all that under communications, put "Handled barbershop clients and telephone successfully " instead of

•Greeted potential and existing barbershop clients
•Answered high volume of telephone calls for barbershop
•Scheduled appointments for barbershop clients
•Worked closely with clients in barbershop ensuring their satisfaction

Basically, if you can compound and simplify stuff, do so. =)

Answer 5

Way too many bullet points....there are many that are easy to combine...

like. styled hair for clients
created hair designs for cleints (these are the exact same)

see how they both say...Hair, for, cleints> We get it, you did salon work, but I dont want you to elaborate on this so much, as this isnt the job you are applying for...combine this to be:

Responsible for artful hair designs and braiding.

.and I suggest customizing each resume for the job you are applying for.....

There are lots of good sites out there that give "templates" for your resume......


The exciting things you have done are lost in this resume...unless you are wanting to be hair braider....

Man you developed a website! Awesome. Almost missed it!

Answer 6

. each and every physique is conscious that resumes are already embellished & make you look 'extra useful' than who you're.from now on could be classed as skiting. much less is extra. you come throughout the time of to me as experienced,friendly & athletic.in keeping with risk basically incorporate your photograph with your reference.sturdy luck(in spite of the shown fact that i do no longer think of you would be wanting it)

Answer 7

It's nice.

It just scares me a little bit what you have under "management". I wouldn't necessarily put those things under management. That's up to you though.

Answer 8

too many bullet points which makes it look much lengthier than it actually is! and also some points seem repetitive!

Answer 9

you can work some more and you will improve it