Father wants nothing to do with the baby...?

Question

The father (we are just friends and nothing more) wants nothing to do with me having this baby. He feels that I should get an abortion or put the baby up for adoption and focus on my last year of school. Im sad and really hurt by his reaction (he yelled at me like I was a child!) I'm not sure what to do!

I'm 23, a Licensed Massotherapist and I'm finishing up my last year in school for Radiology Tech. I am capable of doing this on my own, its just obviously not the most ideal situation... expecially with him being an a**hole right now. I guess Im just scared more then anything...

Ok... thanks to everybody who said I lied about being on birth control. We did it ONE time w/o a condom (just in the moment, was his bday, we had been drinking, and I hadn't seen him in almost a year... blah blah blah...) Was that the smartest thing I could have done? No... I wasn't asking an opinion on that.

Answer 1

Hi sweetie! I can relate in a way because my son's father did not want me to have him but we were more than just friends. First i want to point out friends do not have sex with each other not unless their Fu*king buddies. I want to let you know that having a baby is a blessing and no matter how hard it may seem you will make it through school and life with the grace of GOD. God blessed you with this baby for a reason and if you have an abortion you may be killing our next president,super star , or anything. Just pray about it and ask God to lead you through out your journey. As for him he is an A$$! This baby is a blessing and he will realize that later on down the road, I know it may be hard to deal with this but just stay strong and give him the impression that you do not care. For some reason guys respond to us treating them like crap sometimes. Really when we deal with idiot guys somewhat boys not men! Right now he thinks he has your card and he can play it when he wants. prove him wrong and let him know you do not need him cause you dont! Women rule the earth and men could not live without us. We can function without guys but we crave somethings they do to us. Remember he is not the only man on earth and there are plenty of guys that would take care of you and your baby. The world is a big circle and what goes around always comes back. Trust me he will pay. forget him and focus on the you and having a healthy baby because thats important and you do not need stress right now. Good luck and much love.
Just to add do not give your baby to someone else. this is your blessing and that child will be affected thinking that his or her biological parent did not want him or her. take your time to think whats best for the baby if you feel deep down in your heart that you can not do it then give the baby up.

Answer 2

I know abortion is not the answer. You were given a chance to live and you should not deny that from someone else. The child deserves to have a mother and a father. You will need to look deep down and decide if you are ready to be a full time parent. It can be really tough being a single parent! It’s hard to get people to accept your kid/s, it’s hard to go to collage. It’s hard to hang out with friends. Its hard to get used to not having a social life, basically when you are a parent, your life is no longer yours. Your life becomes your child’s life. If you are not willing to make all of those sacrifices then give the child to someone whom is. Adoption is a great gift for someone whom is ready to have children.
If you are ready to make all of those sacrifices then get ready for the cold water and jump on in!

Answer 3

You don't want to have to deal with a man like that in the long term. The only thing you need from him is the child support if you're keeping the baby. If you are thinking of putting the baby up for adoption, make sure that he realizes that someone else will be raising his child, who knows, he may decide he wants to raise his child himself.

Answer 4

why should he have anything to do with it. seriously I think its unfair for a woman to insist on having a kid and expecting him to want to have anything to do with it or you if you were not married and planning kids at the time...

some women (Not you) intentionally lie to a guy that she is on birth control then she gets pregant and she wants money and stuff from him..

guys are horney they want sex.. they often dont want anything more.. like a baby or a family...

no offence I am a woman too, BUT if you had unprotected sex then ultimately the burden is on you... why would you expect more from him??

have an abortion or put the baby for adoption... DONT expect anything from him... espcialy not cash...

if this is your last year of school - make sure you finish it as if you dont it will ruin (or certainly stunt) your life..
give the baby up so it has a good future (or abortion) BUT dont keep it.. this would be unfair to do to it as you really are not ready to be a mom.. really if you want to do the right thing you will realize that its not easy but its not right to keep a kid you cannot afford - and until you are married and ideally a home owner - you should not have kids

good luck... get birth control next time!!

Answer 5

Here's my opinion, if you are "just friends and nothing more" you wouldn't be in this situation. If you want to have the baby, HAVE IT! It will be the best thing you have ever done even if you chose not to keep it. There are a ton of wonderful people out there who cannot have a child of their own and would love the chance to adopt one. I think it is entirely your choice. You don't need a man to help you!

Answer 6

i know how u feel, but u have to do what u feel is right. i am a week away from my due date and i am so excited. and he has nothing to do with me. u dont need a man to rasie a child and my baby is the best thing to have ever happen to me so good luck. but dont get an abortion, if u feel u cant do it then go for adoption. remember there is a human life there too

Answer 7

Well, sorry you're finding out the hard way but sex really does change everything.

There will ALWAYS be consequences in both your lives - I think he's dealing with a whole bucket of feelings, everything from really wanting to be involved in the baby's life, feeling he's letting you down, anger at feeling trapped (even if it's only his own perception), etc.

I think things may get more complicated as you get further along in term, too.

Best to you both.

Answer 8

You need to do what you want to do. You are the one who is gonna be raising this baby not him. You need to ask your self do you want a baby? Can you take care of a baby? Will you be able to provide it with a good home and a mother who cares about it? Also you need to assess your financial situation. Baby's ar very expensive. In the end this is your decision no one elses. If he doesn't want to help then take him to court for child support and let that be the end of it. Also I just have to ask have to talked to your parents about this. It sounds like you are still in high school. If you are then I am sure you are still living with them. How do they feel about this? Are they gonna let you stay at their house till you get on your feet? Are they willing to help you with this baby because trust me you are gonna need the help. Also please see what you can do about finishing high school and getting your diploma even if you have the baby. You are gonna need it to find a decent job to support this child. GOOD LUCK

Answer 9

Not very smart to have a child when you are so young! This is going to affect the rest of your life and not in a good way. Women control 90% of the birth control so why are you pregnant???? Did he say he was sterile? or did you say you were on birth control??? I do not think women who trap men into children should be paid a dime. You want a child then you pay for it!

Answer 10

Keep the baby and if you have to, forget him. I raised mine without any help of the father. She is the joy of my life. Don't have an abortion, you will regret that forever. Someday, you will be very proud of that child and happy you did. In my case, it was the only child I ever had. I would love the baby with all your heart and soul.