My brother was paralyzed about 2 months ago and we are remodeling our house to help fit his needs look inside?

Question

2 things 1. What are some things that we should change to help him fet around easier and 2. he is kinda upset about it because " he can get around himself and we don't need to waste money on it" - how can i help him understand that this isn't a burden and help him accept the fact that he is paralyzed?

Answer 1

1. And MOST important, make sure the bathroom door is wide enough to accomodate his wheelchair..nothing worse then not being able to fit thru a bathroom door.
2. Make sure to get him a shower chair so he can bath on his own(he may prefer not to use it but get it for starters) Oh, and a hand held shower head..since he can't reach the regular one to adjust it
3. Put some low shelfs in so that he can get his own plates, glasses, etc...also do this for towels and such like that
4. Make sure the foods he usually eats are easily accesible in the fridge, that way he won't have to dig behind stuff its a pain
5. DO NOT offer to do everything for him it will only make him more aware of his injury
6. Oh, and a big closet door, so that he can get his own clothes from the closet without help
7. Last(but surely not least) make sure he has a ramp so he can come and go as he pleases
P.S. Make sure he gets a nice lightweight wheelchair, with a JAY cushion, they are liquid filled and help to reduce the risk of pressure sores tremendously

Answer 2

I'm guessing he will have to do a lot of internal "work" to accept his situation, it is so very new! We cannot imagine what he must be feeling.

I understand your wish to help him in so many ways. He may perceive this "help" as just a reminder of the way he is now, paralyzed. He is probably dealing with issues of being dependent upon others and for people that have always been independent, it's incredibly difficult to realize things must change.

There is a fine line between helping and pity. He will go thru many emotions for some time. There may be times when you don't know what to do or what to say.

As he becomes more independent (to the extent he can) some of these issues will subside. Keeping his mind on other things in the world and new goals (instead of accommodations) should help.

Perhaps you can be honest and let him know that you can't understand wholly what he is going thru and it's hard for you too sometimes, but this is a little way where you feel you can make a contribution to help him on his way and hope he can understand where you're coming from.

Your brother is lucky to have a family that wants to help him so much in this regard. :)

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear that he was hurt. To make a house wheelchair accessable you need to widen doorframes sometimes, bulid a ramp for him to get into the house, make sure all common areas and his bedroom have lots of space for him to be able to maneuver his chair more easily, have a rail by the toilet and in the bath. As for him not likeing it, tell him that when he gets bigger it may be harder for him to move around in certain areas because his chair will be bigger, and that he is not a burden, but in order for him to be as independent as possible (so he isnt a burden...a sister can say that kinda thing) that these changes need to be made. I hope things work out...i know a lot about kids who've got physical challenges, some all their lives and some because of an occurrence/accident. If you want to talk about this more you can feel free to email me.

Answer 4

Right now he is feeling that he is a burden ,and he can't understand why any of you would go out of the way for someone who can't do anything in return.He's down and has lost a big part of his self esteem I think you need to get a social worker, a priest or someone who can speak to him. And as for the family just keep reminding him how much you all love him, at the same time try to not baby him, he has to feel he has something left to live for.even if it means arguing with him, he has to feel normal just like before he became paralyzed. As for remodeling you need easy access to the bathroom, room for him to move around the house with a wheel chair, if he has one. ramps in the front of the house leading to the front door, a deck in the back of the house for good weather days, that he can go out. Also check your local government to see if they have any disability departments that can help with the renovations, I know someone who got a deck, bathroom,and much more free from the Town of hempstead in Long island. It dosen't hurt to try.

Answer 5

1: make sure that the bathroom door is wide enough for his wheelchair to fit in. Make sure that there are side bars on the toliet. make sure that the bathtub is easy to get in and out of. put some low shelves so he can get his own plates, cups (etc) If its possible you should probably put his bedroom on the first floor of your house to avoid the stairs. if there are stairs near your entrance make sure there is a ramp. Above his bed you should put like handles he can pull on to get up and into his wheel chair. its pretty important to have alot of upper body strenght.

2: YOU can't really help him accept that he is paralyzed he will come too it. You should see the Movie MURDERBALL it is about a paralyzed person in a wheel chair. Another TV series you should check out is Joan Of Arcadia. Joan the main character's brother is paralyzed simalier to your brother. Her brother has learned to accept it, and has found a nice job, and some commutity teams like sporting, basketball. try finding people in yuor commutity that have the same problem it will probably make him feel more comforable will people around him like him.

Answer 6

Your family may want to widen the doors in your home so that your brother can pass through them more easily. There are doors that are made wider (36") specifically for those that are in wheel chairs. Hallways should also be wider.

Lower the height of the counter tops and sinks, put support bars in the bathroom so that he can get on and off the toilet, place grab bars in the shower and tub area. If possible you may want to add what's called a "roll in shower".

Refrigerators now come in a drawer form which will make it easier for him to access his cold foods and drinks. Items that he will need should be kept in cupboards that are at wheelchair height, where they will be easier for him to access.

If you have stairs in your home and can afford an elevator, it certainly would be to his benefit. Place ramps leading to the outdoors so that he will be able to get in and out of the home more easily.

I'm sorry to hear that your brother is paralyzed. You may want to contact a brain injury support group in your area so that your family as well as your brother can attend. I'm sure that he's dealing with his own grief and will need to talk about it with others in a support group setting, who have similar circumstances. If your brother isn't interested in attending right now, your family should still attend so that all of you can talk with people who are in smilar situations. Brain injuy support groups have a wealth of information your family and your brother can benefit by. Here is a website that might help you:

http://www.tbirecovery.org/


This particular website offers brain injury support for each state:

http://www.biausa.org/Pages/state_contacts.html


I wish your family and your brother all the best. If you need more information, please send me an email, as I would be happy to assist you.

Answer 7

Im sorry to hear about your brother. Your brother has to come to terms with himself before he wont be upset anymore. He is going through a lot right now, and you need to give him his space.
Yes, he will need a ramp to get in and out, and bigger doorways, dont forget to fix the bath tub so he can get in and out easier. Think about all the places he goes and what it may or may not need to be improved.
Being there for a shoulder is nice when ready! :)
Dont push him away, grow closer instead. :)

Answer 8

I am so sorry, all of the suggestions are right on ,not any to add. My uncle was injured in a construction accident when he was 19 , I always remember him and his struggles, this was long before the Internet, I think he would have loved the computer. Be supportive , there is going to be a rough time adjusting.

Answer 9

1.Doors and hallways need to be wide enough to get a wheel chair thru. and eliminate steps.
2. Don't push him or make him feel like a cripple! He may feel like you feel sorry for him and that is the last thing he needs. If you guys used to tease eachother and pick at each other continue to do that.
Treat him like you always have. It will give him the selfrespect, he needs, and make him stronger. That is one thing he is going to need more than anything. If you feel sorry for him, he will continue to feel sorry for himself!
He needs to feel useful, and normal!
Just remember he is your brother, nothing has changed, he just has some less functional parts.

Answer 10

he is going thru the five stages of grief...let him come to terms on his own time and when remodeling make sure you are looking at changes from the wheelchair poit of view