Why does it seem like alot of teachers blame parents for a childs problems in school?

Question

In my experience it seems like the teachers at my kids school want to blame the parents for problems that the student has, such as not doing homework, talking in class, etc, instead of looking to themselves and seeing if they are doing all they can to help the parents help their kids. I can not make any sense of my childrens homework assignments. I have sent letters requesting a more detailed list of assignments that they have to do at home, and have been ignored. If I can't even understand what assignments they have, how can I make sure they do it. Teachers chose this profession, just as I chose my profession. They need to help parents more than they are doing. We don't understand exactly what we need to do if they don't tell us in detail. This is my first year having 2 boys in school and I am doing the best I can, but still am getting no support from the teachers. Instead I feel that I am being punished. Why is it never the teachers responsibility?

Answer 1

Speaking as a college professor who had worked at one time as a paraeducator in the public schools, I can honestly say that there are some teachers who bear most of the blame. Some of those teachers are nothing more than glorified babysitters who cowtow to the students, and really don't teach them much at all.

But then again, there are plenty of parents out there who don't take an interest in their kids or simply blame the teacher. Many parents come home from work dead tired and don't have the time and/or energy to devote to their kids. And some parents even have the same attitudes as their kids--short fuses, tempers, lack of interest, etc.

The simple fact is that there's enough blame to go around. The KEY is to have teachers who refuse to allow the kids to get away with unacceptable behavior, and who really try to teach the material kids actually need to learn.

I personally think we should stop focusing so much on those standardized tests as our measure of student success and progress, and rather devote our attention to teaching them the skills they'll truly need. As a college professor, I don't have to focus on any sort of standardized test, so I can devote my entire time to teaching my students as I see fit.

And that's what I believe should happen in the public schools. Go back to the days when it was the teachers who decided how best to educate their kids. And when it was the teachers who were in charge of their classrooms, not the kids. And when teachers and parents partnered together to provide quality education. And when parents held their kids accountable for poor performance, lack of motivation, and unacceptable behavior.

Only then can American schools become better.

Answer 2

as a teacher i can tell you it's usually the teacher that is blamed for failure. we're dealing with a generation of kids who are (mostly, not all) ill prepared by their parents to be in school. many parents treat school as day care. they drop their kids off and we're supposed to do everything to prepare this child for the real world. many parents don't take an active role in their child's education. and i can tell you that that is the single most important factor to having a succesful academic experience.
as far as not doing homework that really is the child's, and by extension your, responsibility. if you both don't understand it then perhaps tutoring is in order. everyone is quick to point fingers in education but few actually want to solve the problem. remember that the teacher also has to deal with anywhere from 18-40 other kids all with different needs. it would be asking a lot to teach the parents of all those kids on top of all that.
if your child is struggling and you're not getting through to the teacher then talk to the principal. schedule a meeting with all of you to find out what the problem is. maybe the teacher isn't very good and other parents are having the same problem. but yours could be an isolated incident too. maybe your kids are struggling and need extra help. there's nothing wrong with that. but it's better to indentify and adress the real problem rather than just pointing fingers and laying blame.

Answer 3

Wait a sec -- this is your first year having 2 boys in school? So we are talking about having trouble understanding a KINDERGARTNER'S homework?? Maybe the teachers ARE hitting the nail squarely on the head when they blame the child's parents for his lackings in the classroom. If you can't get that level of homework, you simply should not be complaining.

Please understand, it is the teacher's job to teach the child, not the parent. If you have issues understanding the homework, go in and speak to the teacher. Keep in mind -- we get paid to teach them, not you. There are some things which are intuitive ... just as there are few things for homework which require additional assistance on how to complete.

It sounds more like you are looking for a way to vent and complain ..

Answer 4

there is something incorrect with a new child who thinks eating and pot are no longer a huge deal. it is not a illness, it somewhat is basically stated as being irresponsible. in case you wanted an answerer that would desire to trust you, you may think of back. or perhaps in the experience that your dad and mom drank and did drugs in extreme college, it does no longer recommend you may. It basically potential that they made some irresposbible blunders, too. If I have been you, i might discover a extra useful type of friends to attraction to close out with. using fact once you're ever modern-day with this eating and drug use, and the police arrive to interrupt up the occasion, you will get arrested, too.

Answer 5

Teachers are incredibly overworked and underpaid. It sounds like you are trying and are a responsible enough parent, but a lot of parents are not, and think public schools are a glorified day care center which substitutes for having to raise their kids themselves. Teachers spend so much of their time and energy picking up the slack of those parents, that it simply isn't possible to help every single parent as much as they'd like.

Answer 6

i am a teacher too and carnaby fudge expressed his answer so eloquently that i cannot improve upon it. one thing i can say is that if you were not prepared to care for and raise your children and give them a good education, you should not have had kids.

certainly if you do not understand assignments then you should seek help. it is your responsibility to see that your children do their homework and if YOU need help understanding it, then you should seek help. do not stop with contacting a teacher who will not respond (perhaps she is tired of dealing with you and your negative attitude, i know i would be) for that is a cop out. yeah, it may mean some extra work on your part having to go to the school, talk with the principal or whatever, but thats part of the deal when you have kids.

i feel personally insulted by your question because i work my rear off and spend my money on my students to help them succeed then i have to listen to people like you complain because you are having trouble doing YOUR job as a parent. typical, blame everyone else for YOUR problem!

sorry carnaby fudge, but i had to vent!

Answer 7

The children will be with the teacher for about 6 hours remaining time they will be with the family,if they take interest the future of the child will be better.

Answer 8

you make a good point. just call your sons's teacher and set up a conference so you can talk to her about it. also, if you don't understand the homework and the teacher is unwilling to help you, hire a tutor. junior high or high school kids in your area will help out for some $$$. good luck

Answer 9

Maybe you should hire a private teacher for your boys or maybe you should go and have a talk with those teachers instead of sending them letters.

Answer 10

I agree with you 100%. All you hear is that the parents aren't involved enough, etc. I don't ask them to do my job. There is not enough accountability. You will get a lot of crap about how busy they are and parents should help more, etc. but it's crap. They complain about continuing education, etc. but most of us have to do it and we don't get the day off, I could go on and on, but I totally agree with you and I'm so glad I'm done with kids in the school system. College now.