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Here is my perdicament: I been married 7+ years met my husband online in Aug.'98. We married April'99 Tought it was the best relationship I have ever had! Untill we finally moved in together and he started with ignoring me and not treating me the way I wanted to be treated! In June'05 I cheated on him and had a one night stand he found out and cheated on me with an actual relationship even though he didnt sleep with this woman in his eyes he thinks he did nothing wrong. Well that was all from June to November. Finally he ignored me more the computer was his best friend and I am becoming more and more depressed and lonley then one day out of the blue he starts the I love yous again and is huggin and kissin me! That was from February till approx. March. Then he started the ignoring again for about a week then went back to the I love yous again for another week! It's an on and off thing. I have 2 kids and no full time job....Would like to hear your opnions on what you think I should do!?

2006-08-27 16:20:48 · 23 answers · asked by MIKKI 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

I dunno if this deletes what I previouly wrote but ... there are only a certain amount of characters to work with and there is alot more than what I have actually posted .... as for my kids I LOVE them to death and spend every moment I can with them ... so leave them out of it!

2006-08-27 16:39:21 · update #1

The first section only gives you a certain amount of char. to work with:
#1 I am not being selfish.... I give it out.... I would like to get some in return!
#2 I am a wonderful mother to my kids and spend as much time as I can with them!
#3 I have talked to him about this tried the heart to heart he repsponds with "I dunno" for everything!
#4 As for trying to get help I have asked and he says "I dunno" about that also.
#5 YES! 44DD is my bra size and have used this nick for years and I know he has no problem with it!
If anything else needs clarrifying or if you have questions before posting a bad mouthing comment about me ask me on yahoo IM same name as the one here!

2006-08-27 16:45:17 · update #2

23 answers

I personally think you should find someone else who won't ignore you like that. 2 wrongs don't make a right, but ignoring someone is considered a type of abuse. you deserve better than that.

2006-08-27 16:26:26 · answer #1 · answered by midnightwolf99_2000 3 · 1 0

I think that you should quit being so selfish. I don't mean to be cold but being a Mom your kids should come first. They deserve a loving and stable home. You cheated and he cheated, did your vows mean anything? You sound like to selfish people who bought kids into a mess. Look either me a good wife and mother or don't. If you can't keep it together for your kids and both admit your screw ups how can you give your kids the love they need?
I am not looking for you to pick me as your favorite answer, because my concern is for your children!
But altleast think of them, get off the computer and take them to the park or tickle them, read them a book or spend quality time with them, if you do this I guarantee you will find true happiness and looking in there eyes you will do your best with your marriage not to hurt them. I am sure I have ticked you off regardless though do the right thing! Good luck!

2006-08-27 16:27:23 · answer #2 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0 1

Seems that the way you guys met is the very same thing that is destroying your relationship. The problem with meeting someone online is that you DON'T really know them. You know what they want to tell you. If the both of you really want to make your relationship work, perhaps you should seek counseling, either from a church pastor, or marriage counselor. The bad thing about this whole deal, is that your two children are caught up in the middle of your mess. I'm not saying it can't work, but change has to come from both of you. Good luck!

2006-08-27 16:27:04 · answer #3 · answered by Lani 2 · 0 0

Our opinions don't really matter much, only you and your husband know what's going on in your relationship. Why don't you have a sitdown and ask your husband if he wants to stay married or not. If so, see if he's willing to work on it, and you both work on things together. If not, then split.

And maybe (just a suggestion) is 44DD your bra size? If so, maybe you should take that out of your screen name, even if you were in a chatroom or a personals ad, I think it kinda sends the wrong message, especially since you're married. But maybe that's just me.

2006-08-27 16:30:44 · answer #4 · answered by BabyRN 5 · 0 0

Try to give him some space, don't try to figure it out in one question. There are no quick answers in relationships (unless someone hits you). You knew he was a computer addict when you met. Look for other signs of ADHD, and see what you can do that isn't intrusive to help stabilize the environment at home. (Help him with organizing his files (you can learn a lot that way....)) Read up on ADD in adults, maybe you have a little bit of the Hunter mentality also, and it may be your common thread together.
At least you didn't meet a drunk in a bar....

2006-08-27 16:27:46 · answer #5 · answered by auntiegrav 6 · 0 0

You both have got to sit and have a heart to heart. Once you do this if the result are still not fixed then both of you need to agree to end this on a positive note for the childrens sake. Neither of you should have cheated, That is not or was not going to fix things, So now you have to both dig deep into your hearts and ask yourself if you both really love each other, and see if there is anything left to fix. You either have it or you don't. Good luck

2006-08-27 16:26:52 · answer #6 · answered by kicojas315 1 · 0 0

Sounds like there are some issues in the marriage that need to be talked about and taken care of - like the cheating, ignoring, and emotional affairs. You should tell him you want to get into marriage counseling and do it asap. Counseling will help a lot and you will both be able to vent and share your feelings and start getting your marriage back on track. Best of luck.

2006-08-27 16:24:11 · answer #7 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 1 0

How do you feel about him now? Are you willing to forgive the cheating? Is he willing to forgive your cheating?

You really need to go to a couples weekend or marriage counselor. There are a lot of things that you both need to deal with before the marriage can be fixed.

It sounds like there is still love in the marriage, you just need help to bring it out and work with it.

2006-08-27 16:24:59 · answer #8 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1 0

I know it is difficult time for you but you'll the see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't intend to offend you but I think whatever you said here sound very childish and immature. You both don't seem to responsible parents. You both don't realize the long term repercussions of a bad childhood. I think you both should sit down and get your priorities straight for the sake of your children.

2006-08-27 16:31:57 · answer #9 · answered by Sam1969 3 · 0 0

Go to a marriage counselor. You've got kids to consider and a lot of years in the marriage. Some companies pay for part of this service. You'll be glad you did.

2006-08-27 18:00:02 · answer #10 · answered by timespiral 4 · 0 0

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