wel, he got w\ me behind dude's back,said he couldn't let go of his past for fear of dude exposing him, oh and he was taking dudes money for us. he admitted it after 4 months and says he is now straight! i love him and he loves me, how do i honestly 100% forgive him? he wants to stepfather the children of the man i left for him, they already call him daddy and he claims them as his daughters. my dad was or is gay, am i trying to get the relationship i never had from my father. help,especially any one who has been part of a similar situation. oh and he has a son w/ another woman from many years ago who i am attached to and the feeling is reciprocated.we were good friends and fell for each other, we are happy together and both want to stay together always.we want to marry as soon as my divorce is final.
2006-08-27 16:17:23 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he cheated over a year ago
2006-08-29 17:10:00 · update #1
and yes we have both been tested repeatedly;i am sure he isn't doing anything else
2006-08-29 17:11:32 · update #2
I don't want to give you my ENTIRE resume, but I am a doctor of psychology and a gay man, to boot. Simply stated, your man is bisexual. Bisexuals have the worst time acclimating to one particular lifestyle. If he has chosen you as his life partner, then that's wonderful. Allow him that opportunity to show you he will be faithful. You are fortunate that you know about this now. I am, however, sad to report that most bisexuals in a mono relationship, through time, feel as though they've been (caged) sexually and eventually become frustrated at not being satisfied in their OTHER needs. He sounds like he's wonderful for the kids and they definately need him, but if you have a doubt that his sexuality will negatively influence your bond, then you know what you have to do. Cheating happens....all the time, we both know this. Are you going to set bounderies with who he can and cannot befriend soically? No, you can't. Can you cross your fingers? Yes. But, why go into this blindly? You know the facts, you love him, your decision is a difficult one. I will be more than happy to send you my credentials and clinician info and will be more than happy to help you through this ordeal.
charlesboster@yahoo.com.
Kind Regards,
CB
2006-08-27 17:14:27 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do women subconsciously go after men that are just like their fathers? Infidelity should never be tolerated and the fact that it was with a man makes it sting that much more. You should really the help of a marriage counselor.
I don't know ALL the details about your situation, but a tiger generally doesn't change his stripes. At the very least, you should ask him to get an AIDS / STD test before you sleep with him again.
I understand you want your children to grow up with a father, but not at the risk of your health or happiness.
Good Luck!
2006-08-27 16:26:57 · answer #2 · answered by MuffinMan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u need 2 find somebody else, because i wouldn't go with a gay dude anyway and if he lied 2 me and he said he was straight when he was really gay then i would have dumped him right then and there, because that is nasty and i wouldn't be able 2 trust him anymore, because he lied 2 me and said he was straight when he was really GAY!!!!! and plus he got a wife and a boyfriend on the other side? that is stupid y would he leave his wife and child? that is stupid, because that is just like saying i would leave my kids with they daddy and go with another man, first of all, i wouldn't do that because i love my kids 2 DEATH and they daddy!!!! and no i haven't been in this situation, because i don't have friends or boyfriends (or whatever) that r GAY!!!!! sorry!!!!! but i do think u need 2 leave him.... i wish the best 4 u!!!
2006-08-27 16:26:45 · answer #3 · answered by pretty baby gurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That relationship needs checked out of. Obviously he isnt on the same team as you are. Now you have the worries of all the STD's etc with his lifestyle and obviously he will cheat again because he is gay. Youve got to leave just to save your heart and self respect. It wont work out.
2006-08-27 17:25:12 · answer #4 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he needs to get tested. If he was seeing that dude behind your back, he may be seeing others.
Second, do you really want to be with him? or are you just looking for a male role model for your children?
If you do want to be with him, then I suggest counseling. It's the only way to work everything out with a third party there to be fair.
2006-08-27 16:57:14 · answer #5 · answered by Nosy news 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should re-read what you posted. The answer to your question is right there.....honey, straight people to do have sex with the same sex-period. Not only that, he sounds like a scammer....you really want to introduce your daughters to that. Imagine what they will think marriage is supposed to be like when they finally get married. I think you need to look elsewhere...or you will be planning the next divorce before you know it.
2006-08-27 16:22:56 · answer #6 · answered by justhanginout 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to Maury Povich or Dr. Phil or better yet talk to the Jerry Springer show J/k Find yourself a real man that enjoys vaginal sex.
2006-08-27 17:35:58 · answer #7 · answered by Madness_75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STD testing. Therapy. Honest conversation.
2006-08-27 16:22:11 · answer #8 · answered by Life Coach Answer Gal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know how it goes:
once a cheater always a cheater. how do you know that is the first time he has cheated. he could have a std as we speak and those are hard to find in males. you can't trust him. it is easier to cheat the second and third time.
2006-08-27 16:22:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you seriously think gays turn straight so easily? No way! Plus, he cheated on u eventhough u left ur husband for him. You really think its worth it?
2006-08-27 16:25:01 · answer #10 · answered by Serendipity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋