functioning of my family. I am also wondering how physical, economic, social, emotional/psychological, cultural and moral functions of my family will be affected? I just want to be prepared for the kids. Thank you.
2006-08-27 16:06:37 · 12 answers · asked by nickname000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Divorce affects people in different ways...There is no one answer. How the divorce will affect the family will depend on you and your husband. Is this an amicable divorce? Have you talked about visitation rights? Are you or him angry? How do the kids feel about the divorce? Have you sat them down and said to them that because Mum and Dad dont love each other any more, it doesnt mean either of us love you any less. A lot of children will feel responsible for their parents divorcing....it is up to both you and your husband to take this guilt off their shoulders and show them as much love as you both possibly can. Children are pretty resilient little creatures, and if you are honest with them, they can accept a lot more than you probably think they can. If you are honest about your feelings to them, it will bond you closer. You are worrying about physical, economic, social emotional/psychological, cultural and moral functions. I think the only thing you need to really worry about is that both you and your husband are doing everything in your power to still be parents to your children....everything else will work itself out in the long run. Your kids are you main priority and not using them as a weapon to hurt the other party is critical in their healthy emotional development.
2006-08-27 16:17:16 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is never easy especially when children are involved. They are going to undergo many emotions over the years. Try and keep a good friendship with your ex for the sake of the children. This way here they will know that even though you two are seperated, there was a time when they were conceived that love was there. Try not to argue over custody, joint is usally your best bet. Make sure that you try and spend time together with the kids like sports or whatever your kids are involved in socially together as a family, after all you still are a family. Ecnomically it will be tougher, I am sure, most families rely on two paychecks now adays, hopefully Dad will still be supporting his kids financially. Most of all try not to ever talk bad about Dad or discuss money matters in front of them, this usually makes the children feel guilty (like it is there fault, or they are a burden) . Im sure things will be fine as long as you still try to be there for the kids that you both share together.
2006-09-01 18:15:31 · answer #2 · answered by iamahotty36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother and I never got over my parent's divorce, 20 years ago; the repercussions are still being felt; however, some marriages are so destructive that a divorce is infinitely preferable...
Divorce affects all aspects of your family... you need to determine if your marriage is more destructive than the alternative before making such a life-altering decision...
P.S. Divorce tends to recycle, too: I went through a divorce myself after only 5 years of marriage, and my brother has never yet been able to commit to marrying his long-time girlfriend...
2006-08-27 23:20:38 · answer #3 · answered by Julia A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last numbers I heard were that 65% of single moms and kids will drop down in their lifestyle while 65% of single men will go up in life style. Not fair is it?
I lost my house in the whole mess and had to rent a small home for the kids and me. We were poor but happier. No more fights and yelling. We got along fine and I slowly built up my income. I was finally able to buy a house about 3 years later. It is not a large home, but it is ours.
The kids were always exposed to the ex and the woman he left me for. I did not like it, but I could not stop it. The kids didn't like her either. After 8 years she is gone and things are much better. The ex and I get along better and the kids are calm about all of it.
My children's grades did suffer due to the divorce. I tried to keep up with the teachers and grades, but somehow they dropped from A to C. Both were able to graduate, but neither one wanted to go to college. They are doing fine on their own now.
Lets just say that the kids are very cautious about who they get involved with. They know the long road to divorce and do not want to make a mistake like that. It hasn't hurt them in relationships. It has made them very careful about who they love.
2006-08-27 23:46:26 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to prepare your children is to NOT i repeat NOT discuss your problems or this divorce with them. Don't downplay their father and try not to upset their routines of ample time and open visitations with their father.
So many woman are vindictive where the father is concerned and they use the children as pawns in their game of being vengeful!
I would suggest you both take a parenting class to know how to handle life's situations. I know in Illinois this class is called PACT....(parents and children together).
Children are resilient and are survivors of what the parents do. It is up to you to make the differences to make YOUR divorce issues NOT your children's problem!
2006-09-01 05:47:37 · answer #5 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out the following website. It's a web stie for guys but women can use it as well. Check out the section titled "chapter one". At the end of the chapter it specifically discusses the effects on the children.
It can answer your questions much better than I can.
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/
Good Luck
2006-08-27 23:16:58 · answer #6 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Don't know if you believe in God or not, but that is where I drew my strength from. And the divorce is better than a child learning that it is acceptable to be mistreated, or to do the mistreating. My ex was abusive.
2006-08-27 23:18:47 · answer #7 · answered by Country 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be very tough, you can't prepare just do what you can and get what your kids need from him do what is best fro the kids always and things should go as best as they can. I hope for your kids sake that their father will be in there life's as much as he can.
2006-08-27 23:16:45 · answer #8 · answered by 4stringthndr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a site set up for step parents and most of us are divorced but I think it would be of some interest to you. Check out www . geocities . com / parenting steps had to put it that way because they wouldn't allow me to put it in else wise. But check out my links on this page, I have tons on there that I think would be of interest.
2006-08-28 00:21:43 · answer #9 · answered by maxine553 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is rough. mentally and financially. depending on how the father handles things. it depends on what happened to the parents and how the parents handle things.
my daughter told me once that im a good mom and he is a fair dad, but together as parents we sucked.
as long as your ex is involved with the kids and lives up to his fair share, it wont be as bad as you think.
as a single mom, its not easy but i didnt it and my kids turned out ok. they are grown now and they didnt turn out too bad, i had a dead beat dad for them and they realize it now. it was rough for a while, but..... we did it and i think that we are all closer because it was just us against the world. the rewards outweighed the problems.
i didnt get to go out but,..........
2006-08-31 14:36:42 · answer #10 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋