ive been with him for 2 and half years and the first year was great and the second was great too but we just had less sex. and the last 6 or so months we have maybe had sex like 3 or 4 times. ive asked him why and he says its his back. hes had 3 back surgerys, but like a few days after his last one in 2005 we had sex couple of days after it. hes very loving to me hugs, kisses pretty every thing except sex and type of sex. and im going crazy im only 24 and im just geting really moody with him and i go off on him for no real reason and i tell him its cuz of the whole sex thing. i really dont know what to do any more any ideas or some kind of advice on the situation
2006-08-27 15:39:33 · 13 answers · asked by marynew8 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here is a good piece of advice. Trust him. When he says he has a sore back from 3 excruciating back surgeries, believe him. He wont be in the mood anytime soon. Most important tell him how you feel, communicate, dont jump to possible wrong conclusions. Men go into quiet stages for whatever reasons, and they keep to themselves, I dont think they realize how this affects the one they love. women then think the worse case scenario and run away sometimes.
2006-08-27 15:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by *zz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First have you ever heard about "for better or worse". You should stick by your man. Back surgeries can limit mobility and casue tremendous pain. You should be understanding. If you can't be then you need to dump him and find an "intact" stud man of your dreams. If you don't come to grips with your issue you will eventually cheat on him.
Second. YOu not really very inventive. If he has back pain then go for oral sex! If that doesn't cool your fires then get a dildo for the penetration issue. There are many options you can use if you simply look.
Third. Guys sexual ability is a finite thing. It only lasts for so long. Eventually as age gets a hold of him lust will die off and it is replaced by a longer lasting love. I guess that you're not there yet.
You have manay options you can try to mitigate this issue. If you don't then you will have to leave him.
Good luck
2006-08-27 22:56:11 · answer #2 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps rather than just asking for it you should try and be more playful with him. Wake him up with some oral or kisses. Get him in the mood and find a position that does not hurt his back. Perhaps he is just embarassed that he may not be able to perform the same since the surgery. I am not much older than you and I understand your frustrations
2006-08-27 22:45:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
find out if its his back.
as a back sufferer i can say that im not into a lot of fun and games as much as i used to be. there are several positions that actually hurt my back and ive come to the conclusion that its not worth all that.
as long as he isnt having sex with anybody else, it could really be his back. find out which positions dont hurt and use them.
2006-08-31 11:29:36 · answer #4 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a cupel ideas
1 u could just lay off its not all about sex
2 get some hot g strings and bras and just walk in on him in bed
3 get in the shower with him and just start kissing him
4 if its realy that bad go out finde etehr a friend who will or a male whore and just get it out of ur system
2006-08-27 22:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you get that moody over sex he may think that is all you want him for. i myself have back problems and sometimes it hurts so bad that i cant have sex when my husband wants me to, but all he does is kiss me and tell me he loves me, and he waits until i can do it without my back being in pain. he is not lying when he says he cant because of his back. just do it when he can if you love him.
2006-08-27 22:51:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it isnt all about sex but you seem to be centering the relationship on it. That could cause the whole relationship to fail. What about marriage?
Good Luck to You and God Bless!!
2006-08-27 22:45:03 · answer #7 · answered by msqtech 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably has a girlfriend......you are not compatible and it won't get any better. If two people are not sexually compatible then the relationship will definitely go down the tubes! Move on, sweetie!
2006-08-27 22:42:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's subconsciously worried about hurting his back more. I would suggest counseling, if you really love him and want to work things out.
2006-08-27 22:43:37 · answer #9 · answered by Maybalee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he has back issues then its understandable but there are ways he can still take care of you, in the meantime buy a vibrator and tell him to use it on you, that should help get him started.
2006-08-27 22:44:00 · answer #10 · answered by pay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋