I have been with my boyfriend for six months now, but I have known him for five years. He is wonderful....just truely a wonderful person, our relationship has been great and I couldn't ask for anyone better for me. When I am with him I think about our future and I know I want him in it, but I can't help but think that my dreams may never become a reality. My boyfriend is currently seperated from his wife. She had an affair and moved on with the person she cheated on him with, but they still talk because there are children involved. Even though it has been a year since the seperation...there hasn't been a divorce yet. He doesn't want to talk about divorce and I am concerned about this. I know he is hurt, especially having been cheated on by someone he thought was in it for the long haul, but it makes me wonder whether I just need to give him more time to grieve or that this means he can't let go and that if she wanted to work it out with him...he would take it? Am I wasting my time?
2006-08-27 14:34:54 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YES, you ARE wasting your time right now -- BECAUSE he does NOT want the divorce, and he has BOTH of you stringing you BOTH along and playing each of you for suckers.
STOP this immediately and REFUSE to be with him UNTIL he is FINALLY and LEGALLY SINGLE -- and SAY THIS!!!!!
2006-08-27 15:00:44 · answer #1 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here is my suggestion. Ask him the same thing you just put into your question. You need to know what is going on so you can live your own life. He is not being fair to you if he does not intend to follow through with the divorce. It doesn't matter either way to him. His wife is gone and not coming back. He would be a fool to take her back and trust her again. They will always have to communicate because of the children, and he needs to let go of his feelings when ever he talks to her. It is time for him to move forward, too. Just have a private chat with him and get this all out in the open. Tell him he has to talk to you or you will walk out.
2006-08-27 21:42:54 · answer #2 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's separated------but not divorced. Until that divorce is final, I wouldn't put all my eggs in his basket. If its been a year since the separation, what's holding up the divorce?? And even if the divorce was final, you are in a rebound relationship. You can't seriously think that after just getting a divorce that he's going to give you a lifetime committment do you? If I were you, I would cut him loose. When and if the divorce is final, and he's still interested in pursuing a relationship with you, he will do so. But until then, I'd find someone who's unencumbered.
2006-08-27 21:46:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he may still have a few hang ups from the wife , but he is going to half to talk to her since there are children involved because u can divorce the wife u are not supposed to divorce the children , but do u think u can handle giving him more time ? he may need it , but are u willing to wait , and if so how long do u intend on waiting on him? u should talk to him and find out what is going on then make that decision for your self, what can u handle and for howlong , they say the best things in life are worth waiting for , so do what u think is best.
2006-08-27 22:59:10 · answer #4 · answered by rachel m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is in a bad spot.....he can't really move forward with his life until he gets the divorce. You won't truly have a future until the divorce as well.
You need to talk to him about this matter. He definitely has to go at his pace but you need to let him know how you're feeling.
Good luck.
2006-08-27 22:17:52 · answer #5 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu need to make sure he is heading toward marriage with you or you are wasting your time
Good Luck to You and God Bless!!
2006-08-27 22:43:23 · answer #6 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋