Im married to a BORING beast! Help me get out!?

Question

My wife bores me should I leave her?

she is younger than me but we have nothing in common, she went on a trip for 2 months and it was like she never left. I didnt miss her and when she got back it was just the same. we never talk or go out and rarly have very boring sex. She is watching tv and I am on line asking questions here because she is so boring I want to scream!

When I take her out all she wants to do is look at a movie and bore me to death. Sex is so boring that I dont even bother anymore. In the past sex with others was always hot and exciting. When she calls me on the phone it is like no one is there she is a non person. All weekend she watches tv or sleeps. I had so much fun while she was away for 2 months visiting family I didnt miss her at all when she came home it was just like when she was gone BUT MUCH MORE dull and boring. I want out but Im scared of being alone but being with her is just like being alone. I took her to 2 councelors they both told her to learn to talk she never did. I left her for 4 months a year ago but she is so lame she cant survive on her own and her family is all overseas so I feel sorry for her and stay with her. I am so depressed and bored im lonly and sad every day I get no sex or love or even conversation. Im married to a nonperson a lump in front of a tv.

Answer 1

I cannot imagine your wife is anymore boring than you are. I think God brought you two together because of your lack of editing.

Answer 2

I've answered this question before, but perhaps I wasn't thorough enough that you felt the need to ask again, so this time I will be very thorough.
First, if you married this woman and she just became very boring maybe she feels the same way you do? Maybe she thinks you're boring, always on the computer, or something of the like.
Perhaps she feels rejected and neglected because maybe she wants you to approach her with some fun ideas.
If she isn't following counselors advice then maybe there is a large amount of emotional damage done to her that needs love to fix. If her family is overseas then maybe she is depressed!
Instead of taking her to counselor after counselor you should talk to her yourself. If she doesn't want to budge, insist on talking. Inform her that you want to know about her feelings, you want to know what is running through her mind, how she feels about certain things and why she is lacking in the social department.
If you do love her but she is just "so boring" then you need to work with her to TRY TRY TRY to get her to open up. She is obviously going through a great deal of pain and suffering at the moment and probably needs some helpful words and fun activities.
Why don't you surprise her to a movie? Or dinner? Or a picnic?
Maybe she's afraid to open up because she thinks you'll leave her or she is afraid of saying the wrong things and being alone just like you're afraid of being alone.
Maybe she doesn't give you love because you're not trying to give it to her. Why don't you sit down with her while she is watching TV, hold her, kiss her gently, give her a massage... by doing this she will be relaxing and maybe then she will open up to you.
Also, if you seen two counselors and all the said whas "you need to learn how to talk" then you went to the crappiest counselors out there. Counselors are there not to tell her what she needs to learn to do, but to help her learn how. Perhaps a new more experienced counselor could be suggested, that's if the tips I have given you don't work out.
Obviously she is in need of support!

Answer 3

If you are this miserable, leave. I just left my husband after putting up with the same stuff for years and even though I'm alone right now, I feel wonderful. I don't miss him and don't regret it at all. I'm not being cold, but I've been warning him for years about how lonely and bored I am and he just can't get off the couch, had a convenient little breakdown and now can't work. I have a successful career, meet interesting people everyday and just want to be happy and you should too.

Answer 4

there is nothing that we can do to help you get out of that relationship, only you an do that. If you are unhappy, then you don't need to be there, and you would both be better off if you ended it now. She sounds like she don't know how to have fun. Was she like this before you got married? and if so, then why did you marry her? She can learn to live on her own, and maybe if you leave again, then she will. She would have no choice but to make it on her own here, or move back to her family. I wish you luck in what ever you decide, but if you decide to stay, go out and get some friends, and live your life if she wants to go, let her, and if she don't let her. either way, you should not have to sit and be bored...

Answer 5

What in the hell were you thinking marrying her? Didn`t you know she was boring when you were dating? I don`t understand why you care about how she gets along when you aren`t with her, but since you support her anyway, why don`t you just leave her and give her some sort of allowance like marital support? That way you don`t have to worry about how she makes it and you can be guilt free and also free to go out and have fun and do whatever makes you happy. Definately get out no matter what else you do! Life is too short to be living an unhappy life in a loveless marriage. Get free so you can live! Good luck! :-)

Answer 6

This doesn't sound like a healthy situation for you at all. I have had the same problem with my hubby, my solution has been to just keep busy with work and my own interests. I do ask him to come along if he wants, or if there is anything he'd like to do, mainly all he does is play war games on his computer. I have asked for changes, gone to counseling, tried sexy lingerie. He is a good man in other ways though and I try to appreciate his good qualities. But yes the boring part is still driving me crazy. And I'm past the part of being afraid of being alone, I'm already alone, we are just roommates.

It is also possible she is severely depressed, have you tried taking her to a medical doctor to see if this is true?

If there is nothing medically wrong, I would suggest start making arrangements to live separately. Part of this may mean making her stand on her own two feet and support herself, or maybe she would prefer to return to her family overseas.

Wishing you future happiness, hope this helps :)

Answer 7

Well you are leaving a lot of the story out how much younger for one and there are others... if the is no way to capture the passion of your first meeting then yes get out. have a very freank talk with her (yes there will be tears) and don't be afraid of being lonely . you are just comfortable knowing someone is there when you get home offer to send her back home ask her what it will take to make things work (thats if you want to know) and stand your ground if you decide to leave you must live for you have commpassion for the woman but dont be asucker either. try to make it as easy as it can be (you will probably have to swallow a lot of crow) but do it for you

Answer 8

well. do you have any childre? if yes and you are old stay with her. get out have some fun on your own . with your friends. or go to a bar by yourself It sounds that you guys spend too much time together. You can't be happy with some oneelse if you arenot happy with yourself. Why did you marry her on the first place . Was she always like this? I think you must love her a lot.

Answer 9

It would probably be best for both of you if you get out of the relationship. You don't appear to be too attached and I'm getting the feeling that you are not in love with her much less lover her. It is not fair to either one of you to stay together because you feel sorry for her.

Answer 10

Bring home another woman and make her have a 3 some see if that gets the blood pumping. See if you get any kind of reaction out of her then. If that doesn`t work then I`d have her commited somethings wrong with her .

Answer 11

Welcome to marriage pal. But if it's really that boring for you, I am sure it is for her as well. Seek better counseling and if that doesn't work then a divorce is the only way for the both of you to move on and meet the right person.