girls, when you tell your man something that they do or don't do that bothers you...why can't they make a change to make you happy??? Is that too much to ask???
2006-08-27 14:10:56 · 39 answers · asked by Melisa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
All I ask him is to get in touch w/ me more often...we have a long distance relationship and it's always me trying to reach him. I don't ask anything else.
2006-08-27 14:24:02 · update #1
i have learned that u cant have a person change for u by asking them, a person should change because they want to change not becuz someone has asked them too. if ur boyfrienddoesnt realize that what hes doing might be a bad thing and stilol deosnt change well then maybe the relationship isnt gonna work and ur gonna need to find a new guy. but dont ask him to change, tell him the things that bother u about him once in while and let him realize that he needs to chnage and eventually he'll change, trust me, not all of us guys are hard headed jerks, some of us do listen.
2006-08-27 17:00:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's not good that guys don't listen. But hear me out on this. You cannot and never will change any one nor should you try to. It's rude for one. If it's a bad habbit he has like drinking, cusssing, drugs, smoking, etc. then sure ask him to change that or loose you but don't expect immediate results. If it's some thing he's not doing such as sex or what not why are you with him find a guy who'll give you want you want. Most important stop trying to change people.
2006-08-27 14:16:23 · answer #2 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To play devil's advocate, why should he change anyything just to make you happy? What are you asking him to change? Maybe what you feel is a completely reasonable and easy request might come as a demand to him.
That's different that no listening.
Ok, what I mean is, it depend on what you're asking your SO about. You can't ask your partner to change something that you feel is a very simple thing, but that he's like that. What if he ask you to laugh different? or dye your hair with other color? or behave this or that way?
Everybody has some habits that bother their partners, and thats something everybody has to learn to accept.
2006-08-27 14:17:45 · answer #3 · answered by Roberto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be too much to ask, yes. If you're with someone then that means you're accepting the good AND the bad. If it's a huge issue then you can explain that to the person, but that doesn't mean that they should have to change to make you happy. Maybe it means you're not right for each other. Either way, both parties should be open to communication and making each other happy, but neither person should EXPECT the other to change who they are for anyone.
2006-08-27 14:14:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When has a female ever listened!
People are as they are, and mostly, we do not get to change them. That is why you are suppose to take time to know a person if you think you might care!
And one sure way for females to get their feelings hurt is to become convenient sex for the male by living with him!
If you don't like his attitude, ways, what ever, what is your choice?
He moves on, it was good for him while it lasted! So which one is NEXT?
And the female? Why didn't he, why couldn't he, I tried, etc, etc, etc!
You do not want to hear it from your parents, you don,t go to church because the same message will get repeated, you just want to go out there, listen to the same line, spread your legs until he wants something new, then come and replay the same old song!
How many times do females have to get ran over by a truck to learn, trucks running over you do two things; hurt and kill!
2006-08-27 14:27:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same reason why girls never listen. Clearly not all guys are incapable of listening, and not all girls are either. It's the particular ones people pick out to date who have that problem.
Like Answer1 said, lead by example. If that doesn't work with him, find a guy who does listen to you, and you have to particatpate and listen too. Relationships don't work when their is no comminucation and understanding on both sides.
2006-08-27 14:13:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because they are either too weak to make changes to themselves and/or they don't think it is worth changing over. You need to make sure that what you are asking is realistic as well. If it is, then he needs to try regardless of how he feels about whatever is being asked. If you are that special, he would at least try to put in some effort to do what you want. Same goes for you. Love is selfless.
2006-08-27 14:15:45 · answer #7 · answered by Emi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself this question, what if they ask to do or don't something that bothers him? Would you really change? C'mon you like because of what he is in the first place, if you keep asking him to change then what's the point of being with him? You might as well find someone that really suits ur character.
2006-08-27 14:13:32 · answer #8 · answered by spray_kit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey you wanna know what. Yes some men will change but others it is to much to even ask them to take you out to dinner. Trust me you might as well just dont even think about it. Sorry but that is all you really need to do.
2006-08-27 14:15:24 · answer #9 · answered by Tori H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys aren't the listening type. I often have to repeat myself with my boyfriend. Sometimes, you have to choose you battles, though. Is it important? Does it need to be done? Listening is a hard skill to learn and most people can't do it. Sorry that he is like that, though. Hope everything goes well.
2006-08-27 14:24:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋