My husband is currently serving in Iraq. I am so lonely and depressed without him here that every minute of everyday feels like I'm struggling just to function. Not a single member of my family has called to see how I am since my husband deployed 4 weeks ago. Even when I tear up in front of friends and coworkers does anyone seem to care. Everyone asks about my husband - and I'm glad that they care about him - but what about the fact that I'm struggling to make it here alone? Am I being selfish?
2006-08-27 14:04:27 · 9 answers · asked by Who the heck is Bobby? 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I'm sorry. I meant to ask "Is it selfish to expect people to consider my feelings while my husband is in Iraq?"
2006-08-27 14:09:09 · update #1
I didn't mean to imply that I'm walking around crying all the time - I don't want people to know how truly pathetic I feel. That's what really gets me - these people know that I rarely cry over anything. So when I tear up in front of them they can assume that I'm really sad.
2006-08-27 14:19:24 · update #2
sissybug,
I am so sorry for the loss of your brother-in-law. I have been in that situation before as well with my exhusband's grandfather. I don't understand how people can be so thoughtless. I send you much love, and sympathy for your loss.
2006-08-27 14:35:20 · update #3
No it's not selfish. I pray for your husband and his safe return. I also pray for you that you can make it thru these hard times. Just keep your chin up and remember that every day that passes, he is that much closer to coming home. Be a trooper and be brave as he is. I know it hurts not to have anyone ask how you are doing. I just lost a brother in law who passed away 2 weeks ago. My husband took it real real hard. I was trying to hold together for him. HE got cards, phone calls, etc. I know it was HIS brother, but I loved him too and I am the sister in law. No one ask how I was and only 2 out of many cards were addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Even my best friend only put his name on the card.
Come on now. Breathe, deep! There now. Go clean something and put this behind you and just leave it to "people's unknown",
2006-08-27 14:26:10 · answer #1 · answered by Nana 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't being selfish, I'd say others are not very compassionate. But, you need to get some counseling and realize that your situation will change.
If you continually think about him, feel sorry for yourself, and go round and round with that, you aren't helping yourself at all. You need to take control of your thoughts, and you really can do that.
A good counselor can direct you. You don't need meds for depression, you need to get on with your life. Focus on doing things that are positive. This will pass.
Do you have a church you can go to? Pray, ask God to help you.
2006-08-27 21:12:08 · answer #2 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the people that care about how u feel are ur true friends and loved ones and if u have a caring mom or sister or a true friend yes they should care about ur feelings but u cant carry on all the time youll turn people a little off how old are u by the way you cant go around snibbling 24hrs a day or every time you see ur mom or friend u cant go on @on @on you'll turn people off
2006-08-27 21:15:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your not,
but let me ask you this,do you feel selfish being this way?
you shouldn't and it normal to be like this,like everyone is asking about him and no one is hurting like you,and you might feel like your friends and family should be in the same boat as you are and you want them to feel the pain that you are feeling right now,or it would be nice if them would just wonder how I'm doing today,or i sure could use a friend today to get my mind off things,
well,go to them all and say,"you got a minute you can spar right now,i could use a friend right about now",and see how Meany people give you a ear to fill,or a shoulder to lean on.
try them and see what they do for you.
help is on the way,and GOD is still on your side and knows what your going through,just tell GOD about all the hurt your having and he WILL
help you with it all.
blessing my friend.
2006-08-27 21:18:54 · answer #4 · answered by DENISE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your question smacks of depression, could you possibly contact the chaplain at the base from where your husband is deployed?
those folks have gotten a lot of training on how to deal with separation due to deployment and they might have some helpful advice. there also might be some support groups that you can get in touch with to help you through you time of need.
May god bless and keep you and yours safe.
2006-08-28 00:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by CWB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, its not selfish at all, and i totally understand your point. but you have to look at it the way other people are looking at it: they are going to ask about him because he is the one off doing something "heroic" (and i'm sure he is) but to them its almost like what you're doing isnot as "important"--but trust me sweetie--it is!!! so you hang in there--i'll pray for you! best of luck!!!
2006-08-27 21:11:50 · answer #6 · answered by Lana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not selfish of you; you're allowed to care for yourself and expect others to take your feelings into consideration. I can't imagine having my partner be away from me for that long...it must be awfully hard for you.,
2006-08-27 21:14:31 · answer #7 · answered by Snuz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah. C'mawn.
2006-08-28 09:31:49 · answer #8 · answered by Aan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be fine and so will he. God bless the U.S.A.
2006-08-27 21:13:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋