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What were some of the more difficult obstacles you had to overcome in your marriage? How did you finally resolve them?

2006-08-27 13:46:36 · 12 answers · asked by EVE 3 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

I'm with you on the in-laws...lol

2006-08-27 13:54:47 · update #1

12 answers

Let's see.....in 17 years, three children (2 boys and a girl), imprisonment, adultery, death of parents, bankruptcy, graduate school, loss of job, and a couple of other minor things.....the secret? Grace, forgiveness, I corinthians 13 love, and white knuckle commitment. It has taken God to make this happen. Only He could.

2006-08-27 14:07:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

My dear husband and I have been married over 20 years. We'd both been married before. We both had kids at home when we got married. Blending our 2 families was HARD!!!! He had 4 grown kids, too. My husband is 24 years older than I am. So, he has a daughter a few months older than me. The 4 older ones are all within 4 years of my age. The hardest thing to deal with was trying to treat all 3 of the ones at home more or less the same. Boy, did we have some fights over that!!!!

We were both determined to make this marriage work. The first couple of years were the hardest. And the "D" word was mentioned in the heat of the argument. But that's as far as it went. You bring so much baggage with you into a second marriage. Especially if there are kids involved.

We kept the lines of communication open. We learned there are things you just have to let go and others that have to be worked through. We never lost sight of why we got married in the first place. We loved each other. We communicate our love to each other every day in words and deeds. We pray for each other. God is at the center of our home and our marriage. We read the Bible together every night.

We've kept our wedding vows. We've stayed strong when it seemed like our world was falling apart. He helped me raise my sons to manhood and they both call him "Dad." We've seen each other through various illnesses. We hold each other close every night in bed. We share our joys and sorrows, the good times and bad. We've learned how to be empty-nesters. Harder for me than him since he already had 4 grown kids.

The long and short of it is that our love for each other grows every day. We know all the ugly things about each other and they don't matter. We'll be together ... till death do us part.

2006-08-27 22:06:33 · answer #2 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 0 0

I've been married for 18 years. 10 months after we got married we had a baby, 12 months later we had another. What a life changing two years! I just started a job and found out I was pregnant. They fired me, so I stayed home for 2 years.

Our obstacle was money. Two babies in daycare, diapers, groceries and rent.... We ate dirt so the boys could go to daycare and have things. We were very tight financially. The boys first few Christmass' were from the local dollar store.

We survived. The boys are 16 and 17. Even though it was hard, I wouldn't have changed it for anything. We learned what was important and we learned about priorities.

2006-08-27 21:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by Ann Chovie 3 · 0 0

Well, we just celebrated our 15 years in May. Luckily we get along really well, and waited to get to know each other (10 years) before having children.
I think with any marriage there are going to be a few obstacles to deal with. My only real big one has been the fact that my hubby isn't quite the dirt and mess observer I am. It's quite irritating, but I've learned to really overcome my own inner weakness (in his opinion) of being a little too clean. It works for us, and I hope that's the worst thing we ever have to encounter.
I've also figured out now that we have children together, that you have to live day to day through the stresses of raising them as a TEAM...no matter how you may disagree with each other on certain things. We always sit quietly and talk about our disagreements together instead of trying to yell, because when you yell at each other you only hear the mean things the other one says. That is if you hear them at all. Usually you just hear yourself, because you're frustrated enough to yell in the first place.
No matter what happens, love your hubby and be sweet to him because your children will one day be out of your house and on their own, and it's the hubby you'll be with forever. ;)

2006-08-28 11:25:54 · answer #4 · answered by mom 4 · 0 0

After 22 yrs of marraige, the worst of the obstacles have been mostly financial and lack of time we can spend together. The solutions.. 1 grit your teeth and get through the moneytroubles as best as ya can , and make as much fun out of the time you can spend together as possible. The best way of keeping life in you, Refuse to Grow up

2006-08-27 20:58:57 · answer #5 · answered by artistformerlyknownasloader 2 · 1 0

26 1/2 yrs here, and I'd say it always had to do with extended family members. For me, my mother in law. As long as her daughters were "taken care of" by whomever that was/is ok..Her other 2 sons, she never screwed w/the wives. But, when it came to me? She always treated me like I was invisible in a way, or a little comment, or her running her mouth, and me finding out. Solution, man I told her off about 6-7 yrs ago and let it rip! I stay away from her and anyone else family or not that is bad for my emotional, physical, and mental well being, and don't give a rats a** who likes it or not. p.s. my husband didn't really see it, till one day we were looking at a video of his 40th birthday, and my daughter pointed it out how she ignored me when I asked her a question...then he SAW it!!....finally, it was undisputeable, and my ill feelings towards her justified.

2006-08-27 20:57:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I have been married 26 years and we have two children ages 25 and 21. When we got married I was 18 and he was 20. so needless to say we have had lots of up hill climbs. I would say our biggest issue was money you just have to learn to trust each other and always keep the lines of communication open and set goals for you and your spouse to reach together oh and one more thing keep the in laws out of your private matters.

2006-08-27 20:52:57 · answer #7 · answered by vesta k 4 · 1 0

You can't resolve them by yourself. If he is not willing to be a part of it you may need to separate to see if he's willing to be a part of the resolution. This time invested is of no consequece if the other person is not going to compromise. Recognize what your situation is and don't spend another 15 years unhappy. Life is too short.

2006-08-27 20:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by Credit Expert 5 · 0 0

Jealousy. I feel the only way a relationship will last is if you be open as possible. Take about everything. If you find someone attractive say so. Be friends and lovers.

2006-08-27 21:07:21 · answer #9 · answered by Unknown_1 2 · 0 0

The loss of our firstborn 6 hours after birth. (Birth defect) It actually made us depend on each other, and support each other more. Since then we've had 3 more, and adopted one. 29+ years together, and couldn't be happier.

2006-08-28 00:29:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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