Im very heart broken right now,,,,Mothers and daughters??

Question

I am divorced,,,now 7 years into my 2nd marriage ,,,, the man of my dreams who loves me for just being "me",,,my son and my husband get along great,,, my daughter who is 23 remarried and has a daughter 4 1/2 and baby on the way,,,,resents my husband,,,
she says I always choose him,,,why can't she be happy for me that I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life.....I was brought up in a extreamly abusive home growing up,,,,then got into an abusive marriage,,,,now I have found the man of my dreams,,,he loves me just for being me,,,,he treats me like a queen and my daughter resents him,,,,, I dont understand why she feels this way,,,,she knows I love her,,,,but I have raised her and she has her family,,,,she wants the "norman rockwelll" family"
I tried that in my last marriage,,,,didnt work,,,,I feel now is my time to have what I deserve,,,,A man who I love more than the air I breath,,,,Why is she so angry with me???~~~~

Answer 1

she is jealous of him just like a child would be. she thinks u have replaced her with him since u put him b4 her and b4 other things. u should let her know that u still love her but she has her own family now and that she needs to accept the fact that u r happy for once and try to have a relationship with him who knows she might end up thinking he's a nice guy.

Answer 2

A mother is always a mother you don't get to clock out. I am 39, my mother has been gone for a long time. I miss her so much, even though she was abusive, because she was my one and only mother. I still feel like I need her, though I have been on my own since I was 16. You never stop needing your mom no matter how old you get. A child will never be able to fully act mature towards a parent, a parent is always just that. I am sure you want her to treat you with the respect a parent deserves.
My mom fell in love when I was happily married and I was happy for her, but I was always more her mother than she was mine. Maybe you should step back and really look at the whole picture. How much did she go through when you were in that abusive relationship?
I have a little girl and I believe there is a special bond between a mother and daughter. It is a harder world for girls than it is for boys. We need to stick together. No matter what has happened to me in my life (allot), if prince charming rode up tomorrow, my daughter would still come first because I chose the responsability of being a parent, a job you can't quit. I suppose because my son died I appreciate being a mother more than I would had he not. I do not mean to sound judgemental of you, you actually give me hope for finding love. I just hope you are not being the child in this situation by saying it's my turn. Your daughter will ALWAYS need her mom. I sure wish I still had mine.

Answer 3

I have taken a look at some of the other answers and honestly I'm a little stunned. Its obvious to me from your comments that your daughter is way jelous of your husband and the reasons have not been addressed. She may be bitter, she may not. I get the feeling that she is hurting and needs you to notice. How you handle it is up to you. And personally I believe that once a parent always a parent, even when we dont like it. What stunned me... Well its this pervading attitude in todays society that we are all 'entitled' to this or that or whatever. Surely we all make the best of what we have and we do our best to improve our lot. Feeling entitled gives us expectations that in my experience are often unrealistic. Not to say that we should not have plans and goals, or not improve our ife situation, simply that there are no guarantees. Yet when expectations are not met we often become bitter and resentful. Why? Who came into this world ENTITLED to anything? Under these circumstances, anything that gets in the way of our 'entitlement' is a nuisance that we lose patience with: sometimes this includes our children. As hard as it might be, I believe you have to take the initiative if you want to work this out with your daughter: guide her through it for both of you. Good luck and take care.

Answer 4

Dispite her age, is it possibly because shes angry that you left her father? Or take a second and look over the possiblities, your husband, the man of your dreams whom you get along great with, are you choosing him because you have the same intrests? If so explain it to your daughter (again) and tell her your not "choosing" him over her, tell her that no man could ever make you choose him over your child (and I would hope that is a true statement)

Answer 5

Love her the best you can. Her anger is her issue. You can't fix it or change it. Eventually, it will interfere in her life and she may seek help.

Stop defending your husband to her. Stop trying to justify your relationship. The relationship between her and your husband it their business and for them to work out.

IF, your daughter is concerned about her relationship with YOU, then this is something the two of you could work on. You can both go to counseling to better your relationship, NOT with the goal of making her like or respect your husband.

Answer 6

She hates him because its easier than hating you. She resents you and is jealous because here she is a YOUNG mom who got pregnant as teen and is having another now just barely into her 20's. Im gonna venture to say hat her husband doesnt treat her like her stepdad treats you and that makes her crazy. Im alsso goning to go out on a limb and say that she and her hubby dont make very much money.

Bottom line is that she resents you for being happy unlike herself and wants you to eiather 1) be unhappy yourself or 2)make her happy by giving her what she wants.

Answer 7

I went through a similar situation with my daughter when I married again. She didn't like the guy and cut off communication for 6 years. When she turned 24 something happened that upset her so much she needed to talk to me. We have been best friends since that time.

She still does not like the guy, but she makes time for me and that is what is important to me.

Answer 8

ok at the beginning, i don't think of you probably did something incorrect. you do not mistakingly sleep 9 females on the age of twenty-two. i will see a million or 2 and calling them errors, yet 9?!? It sounds like he's in simple terms casually having intercourse for the sake of doing it and has by no ability particularly fashioned a dedication with those females. i'm an organization believer that intercourse devoid of love is in simple terms valueless and depressing. If he cherished you the way he says he does, he will admire your needs and not push in case you assert no. He looked as though it may do this when he agreed to the separate beds; besides the undeniable fact that, he might have in his innovations that he can nevertheless get some thing out of it, who is conscious. there is likewise the have confidence difficulty, If I have been on your footwear, i could sense very uncomfortable if he could pass everywhere or cling out with any of the alternative intercourse. as quickly as you reported he bodily violated females, I in the present day theory "right for you for announcing bye". there is not any excuse for that. In a good loving courting, you will shelter 1 yet another and lower back, admire the different's strains and don't attempt to pass them. It tremendously much looks to me like he's happy with what he did in a feeling, and while he reported getting off on "choking", what the hell, who should be choked even as having intercourse? that's in simple terms discussing. it ought to be that he has lots happening in his existence that that's the way he makes up for it. that's problematic to foretell some thing like that once you may not think of like he does. lower back, besides the undeniable fact that it hurts, i think of you probably did the surprising ingredient not chatting with him. there are a number of adult adult males around the international, do not settle for some thing below what makes you chuffed or below you deserve. endure in innovations each and every of the coolest issues you have going for you suitable now and save your head intense.

Answer 9

why do you care?
keep in mind misery loves company
don't assume she leads a good life and a perfect marriage
there are no such things
all marriages take some work
sometimes the daughter prefer the mother to be single and protected, therefore disallowing any possibility of her ever getting hurt, and it's a selfish wish, as it's assumes you cannot make sound judgements on your own, so it;s also an insult to you.

Answer 10

She is jealous of you and she is accustomed seeing you unhappy. She does not know how to handle you like this. Just continue to treat her the way a mother should and other than that there is not much you can do about her behavior. She has to decide and want to change on her own.