I am from America and I have fallen deeply in love with an Egyptian, he would like for me and my kids to...?

Question

move to Egypt and be with him after we marry here in America. He is a professional and has a successful life there. I am very willing to move. Can any of you tell me what life is like there especially for Westerners? Specifically Cairo. Thanks!

Answer 1

I'm married to an egyptian but we met and live here in the USA. I'm glad that you have found someone to share your life with but if your going to move that far you had better include your children in that descision. If they have a father he (unless he's really a terrible moster) has a right to be able to see his children too and it's unfair of you to move them to a place which would be so far that his ability to visit would be extremly limited. Also the education they will recieve there will be poor even if you send them to an "american" school. Almost all the american schools in egypt are extremely bad. Hardly any if any at all are certified to teach with actual degrees and such. The teachers that are supposedly teaching your children american english are hardly even able to speak english in any form but generally speak british english if anything. Also consider how devastating it might be for your children to be uprooted to an entirley different place and culture. This is not just a move from minnesota to wisconsin or new york to new jersey this is a huge difference. Even children who are moved accross country such as new york to san diego often experience a degree of culture shock, alienation, and depression. Severe depression is likely to be experienced and without other family and familiar friends it will likely worsen. Consider how important visits with your own family are to you and your kids. How will not being able to see them affect you? Also consider how you met him. I don't know how you did it since you didn't mention. If you met him on the internet it would be wise to vist first to see if he is really who he says and what he says. If you can bring along a male realative with you. Another big issue is whether or not you know the language. If you don't everyone will treat you as a tourist and you will pay exhorbant fees on everything. If you don't know arabic and want to live there it will be very difficult you will feel like an idiot untill you have at least some moderate fluency in it (I say this from experience). Also I don't know what your religion is but if he's muslim and your not, it will probably be a point of friction for you two. You will experienc culture shock for sure. He may start out easy but eventually he will want you covering in front of his friends and you will be expected to be the model 1950's homemaker. Some of those duties may be lightened if you have a maid, nanny, and/or cook but it will still be expected of you. Also do you know what "successfull" means to him. Is it the equivilant of a "hundredair", "thousandair", or "millionair"? I'm not trying to scare you off. Egyptians can be great husbands and Egypt is a great place but you need to consider a major life change like this very carefully. One thing you should also consider is that if he's muslim he can never really be a father to your children. He has no resposibility towards them and religiously cannot accept them as if they were his own. They cannot inherit from him and he does not have any leagal responsibility for them. Although he can let them into his home it's not the same like here where he would become in many ways their father he will always be more of a guardian role but can never be a father to them, no matter how nice he is or how much he likes kids. Other than that bit of advice/warning let me just say that all those people comparing egypt to the movie "not without my daughter" are idiots. First of all the movie and actual events took place in Iran, not egypt. Iran is being run by strict muslim fundamentalists who do not allow anyone any freedoms. Secondly the daughter in the film is actually the daughter is both of theirs not hers alone or his alone. You would not need his permission to allow your children to leave. Egypt especially cairo is very moden and free. It is not strict like Iran at all.

Answer 2

Although I truly believe love can be found anywhere and specifically can be found in other countries than your own, I do have to agree with the majority. Although there are good guys out there, marrying into a different culture can be difficult at best. How long have you known this guy? Don't fall for the old saying that there is love at first sight.
I agree, visit his family, don't marry him right away and why does he want to marry here in the US? Is he really in love with you or does he want to be a US citizen? He may be succesful there in Egyptian standards but that doesn't mean that it is great. Get to know the man well, I mean wait at least a year before you marry him. Learn how he treats you and your kids. Has he met your kids? Listen for signs of an underlying anger problem. Learn well his beliefs. Remeber that love can be blind.
Believe, me I have been there, not with an Egyptian but someone from a 3rd world country and I hate to say it but sometimes I think there is something in the water that gives them a silver tongue.
The guy I was with is a great guy to be around when you aren't involved with him personally. On a personal level, and this wasn't clear for sometime, he was selfish and he would get angry over very stupid things. He owned his own business and I thought he was doing ok. Turned out he wanted someone to help support that business when things were slow. Not to mention that he could be emotionally abusive. Remeber, I said this all wasn't clear at first, it took a couple years before it all came out as it was a long distance relationship. Had I lived with him i probably would have caught on sooner.
Women aren't always considered to much good to them except to be barefoot, pregnant and clean house and cook. This guy may be an exception to the rule but be very careful.

PS: I realize you aren't asking if you are doing the right thing, but I learned also that if you start to question people that, think about it. I found I was asking people if I should stay with him because in my heart and gut I knew I shouldn't but I was wanting someone to tell me I should.

Answer 3

Hi,

Well Egypt cant be all that bad, many Europeans live there in Cairo and the Nile Valley, youd best look at online guides try www.google.com and search on "Egypt Travel and living" to get more information about the country before you go and live there, and certainly its worth a visit first to find out if it really is what you want to do, there is also the matter of the childrens future schooling needs! and them being taken away from friends and family in America. These are the real considerations. Hope your future is everything you wish it to be.

Answer 4

Be careful and aware. Be sure of the culture and extended family obligations. Are you prepared to learn Arabic? It would be extremely wise to make a preliminary visit so there will be no dreadful surprises awaiting you.
I say all this for your own sake. I love Egypt, lived there for a total of six years and married a Christian Egyptian. But the landscape is littered with Western women not understanding what they were getting into. Do become as informed as possible before the commitment, and best of luck!

Answer 5

I am Egyptian. So i 'll tell you what i think about that.
Love is great, i know. Egypt is ok and all that but remember some important things..
You are not alone, you have kids, think about what is best for them too, maybe you can get along here and manage to deal with life here and understand the paradoxes lying in the heart of Egyptian society, but what about your kids? what about their future!?
Despite everything, opportunities and the quality of life here is much less than ur country..
Anyway, if you really love this guy, you have to come here and stay for a while (with ur kids) and esee for urself..
Good luck!

Answer 6

I would advice you first to visit Egypt and see the family stay there for two or three weeks. Then come back to the states and make your decision. I can not comment on your lover because I do not know him and I hate to stereotype people because they are from middle east. some people who spoke before me have bad experiences in their lives. Well, people are different so, he might be a great and independent person.

The culture in Egypt is not so bad. You can behave like what you do in USA.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Ok...first of all-- do NOT watch the movie "Not without my daughter". They played it in my World History class in highschool when I was in the states and it made my life hell. "So people jump out of vans with guns pointed at you if you don't cover your hair?"...
"Uh...what?! No, of course not!"

Egypt is NOTHING like that...I would know,I'm Egyptian and live here now.

It's really different culturally from the States, I'll give you that, but it's another country, and that is to be expected.

Life here:
*There are areas in Cairo that are hotspots for foriegners, Zamalek and Maadi for example...the latter being where most of them reside in.
*It's also really safe here, you can walk around at night and not have to worry, just make sure you respect the fact that you're in an Islamic country. You don't have to go out of your way to cover up or anything, just don't go walking around in hotpants and a tube-top either.
*You're going to get a lot of beggars harassing you for money-- just know not to fall for their fake tears.
*Traffic is a huge problem here, with traffic jams being the norm. Also, don't expect people to respect lanes, or stop for you when you're trying to cross the road.
*You'll be able to find a lot of the stuff you love in the states (candy, chips etc...) here at a store called Carrefour...but expect to be paying more for them. McDonalds, Pizza Hut, KFC are all available as well.

Honestly...it might be hard to adjust at first, but it usually is wherever you move.

I do agree with everyone that stated that you should vist first-- but make sure it's not on of those "touristy" visits, try and experience what it would be like LIVING here, because it'll be really different.

Also, yes, meeting his family is *very* important. My mom, who isn't Egyptian can't stress that point enough.

Talk things out with your kids, come visit, and best of luck to you!


Oh-- one more thing. When you're here, check out CAC (Cairo American College) It's a school...most of the foreigners go there-- education wise, it's the best in Egypt, and way better than the schools I went to in the States. Your kids will be able to make English speaking friends there as well.

Answer 8

I'm Egyptian and I think Cassandra S has very good realistic answer. and also some others what I would advise you is that I knew another girl fallen in love with Egyptian guy who has his mother not accepting the idea and his mother was trying her best to stop the marriage. anyway everything depends on you him and your kids as well. so before you take any decision I advise you to come in Egypt spend some time and then you can decide what you are going to do no one wants marriage to fail it hurts all sides. again it depends on you not the society. the society has some minor effects. for example we are conservative society and if you or your kids are extremely liberal the people wouldn't like that "they wouldn't blame you but they might do for your husband " or even if no one blame him he might feel it by himself. how may he react or how that would affect him towards you or your kids or even if no one blame him he might feel it by himself.
with my best wishes

Answer 9

It's kind a difficult question since you don't mention about your believe. I am sorry asking you this, but for the society there the religion quiet important. If you have the same believe that's ok, but if you have different believe, it would be a problem. but you don't have to worry if you keep your attitude there, keep your body closed. Just pay attention on the places you go there. whether you need to be closed or not.
And you have to be patient to his family, there will be a contradiction but if you stay calm and try to understand them, it will be ok.
Well have a nice day in Egypt, hope both of you will be last forever.

Answer 10

Egypt is one of the better places cuz its a tourist area...and a popular destination..i can tell you that i am married to an arabic man myself and its the best thing i ever did he is lebanese..but seriously he has so much respect for me and he gives me a good life....i hope u will be very happy together and dont listen to nay sayers because they think ur crazy for marrying an arab.