My son is eleven and lived with me for most of his life but custody was given to his father who wasn't in his life for five years and the father and I don't get along so now I believe that he is using that against me and playing both sides I guess you could say he likes to add fuel to fire when it comes to what he tells me and what he tells his dad I just want to know if anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with this problem (please only serious answers)
2006-08-27 12:41:28 · 3 answers · asked by dnicebnice 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I went through this with my son years ago. Myson lived with his mother and I had limited contact due to my job and his mother and I not getting along.
My son ran away and my sister took him in and I was told about things , and quit driving so I could be home to raise him. He found out that I had rules in the house, and eventually he ran back home to his mother because I was more of a disciplinarian than his mother.
I suggest that you keep in contact with your ex husband and try to work things out to a point where you can be civil to each other at least in respect to your son. When something is said by your son and it appears that he is trying to play you against your ex husband understand that that is exactly what he is doing.
If you and your ex cant come to some point of civility your sons behavior will get even worse, and he may even turn into a delinquent. The most important thing that you both need to remember is that by getting divorced, you and your husband actually created this problem because you introduced the divisio into the family and your son doesn't have a family unit he has two seperate families that don't live by the same standards.
I suggest that you and your ex get some counselling for yourselves as well as for your son. It isn't to late to help your son, but if you wait to long it will be, and he will become a very spiteful young man.
2006-08-27 13:07:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you don't get along with his father, but I think that for him to seriously respect both of you, some kind of way you two will have to at least get along for his sake. He will always play the two of you if he knows that there is division between you two and if he can get away with it. He is about to become a teenager soon too so it is better to stop it now then when that time comes. I would suggest family counseling with just you and the father for right now and then maybe add him in later, but most definitely you and the father are going to have to come to some type of agreement, you don't have to be friends, but at least come together in parenting decisions and never talk about the other parent in front of him. I wish you the best!
2006-08-27 19:49:24 · answer #2 · answered by caramel_angelkiss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call his father and talk to him on the phone or talk with one of his family members and let him know what your son is up to. Then let your son know that he can not play you both like that. Tell his father that you to need to get alone for your son.
2006-08-27 19:49:17 · answer #3 · answered by smiley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋