What should I do? He says we need time apart?

Question

I have just come back from a weekend spent with my boyfriend. We spent a nice weekend but today we argued a little. I started to cry and he got really upset with me and told me that these kind of situations makes him hesitate to be sure about us. He told me that he thinks we need time apart. He reassured me he is not breaking up with me but he needs time to think about us, his life, his career plans. What do you think I should do? I wanted to find out from him today if he sees me in his future and he said that he feels like I am always pressuring to talk to me about us and he says our fights and my cries do not make him feel too convinced about us. When I was leaving today, he kissed me and said to me " see you ok?". He said he does not want anybody else, he just wants time on his own as he feels exhausted with everything.

Answer 1

Listen, you have either overwhelmed him, or he's found someone else. I'm sorry to be the one that breaks the news to you but guys don't just need space for no peticular reason. He's just not painting the whole picture because he's not entirely sure he's wanting to leave you yet. Don't be surprised if a new woman comes in the picture.

Dont' worry, another nice attractive man will come along again some day. Especially when you're not looking for one.

Answer 2

You had a "nice" weekend and then you had an argument and he made you cry! I think you're asking him for more than he can give right now and he's telling you he would rather be alone than "argue" about it with you and see you cry! He must feel like he's being pressured into a relationship that "you" want and he's not ready for! An occasional weekend together once in awhile is fine, but if you're asking for more and he's not ready and he feels "you" want more, he's telling you by saying he needs time alone to think about things that you and him are not at the same point in the relationship!Obviously he told you how he felt about the relationship and you didn't like the answer! Give him his "space" cause if you don't you're going to "loose" him for good! If you keeping pressuring him , you're going to drive him away and he may go looking for somebody that does want the same kind of a relationship as him! Wait and see what "his" next move is. See how long it takes for him to call or come and see you. Just don't be calling him! Let "him" make the moves. I'd wait a week, maybe 2 at the most. Then, if things weren't happening, I'd pretty much figure the relationship wasn't going anywhere and then I move on!If you want him in your life, you're just going to have to accept his feelings, cause you can't make somebody feel the way you want them to feel if they're not ready!

Answer 3

You can never make someone feel a particular way. Loving someone is about wanting the best for them - not about your own fulfillment. So, be supportive of him and let him have the time and space he needs now. When you do spend time together have fun! Remember the things that first attracted you to each other - how did you act then? No one likes to feel pressured. The more fun, enjoyable and easy spending time with you the more he will want to be with you. You will fine you are enjoying the time more as well.

Good luck & God bless

Answer 4

Give him the chance to not only think about your relationship but to miss you as well. If you don't allow him to do this you will most likely push him away. Spend time on yourself. Go shopping with girlfriends, go to movies (nothing romantic), spend time with friends and family members you may have been neglecting for a while. Be patient, be determined and be good to yourself. In the end everything always works itself out. You can't do anything right now except respect his feelings and your own needs.

Answer 5

Maybe there are other things in his life that stress him out. When you are in a relationship and ALWAYS talking about the relationship instead of enjoying it...it can be overwhelming to say the least. Just try your best to deal with your time apart and even though it will kill you (biting nails, punching pillows...lol, i've never done THAT before) dont call him. Let him call you so he knows you have the strength to give him that "me" time he needs.

Answer 6

I'm going thru something similar. He said he wants to break up but I'm too attached. I can't let him go! I wanted so much for us, yeah know? He came over last night after I showed up at his house at midnight (ouch, big mistake, I know) and we might get back together. I'd have to say hang in there but follow his signs. If he's really distancing himself, then it looks like he's made a decision. Maybe he just didn't want to come right out and say it and hurt you. I've done that myself. Good luck, and wish me luck too.

Answer 7

Find someone who loves you. Your guy is immature, unsure and unloving. If he wants some time apart - make it permanent. Get on with your life with a real man who is convinced about you and leave the boys to think about their career plans.

Answer 8

Its best to leave him alone to figure things out. its better to find out now if its going to work then years later when there are more things to lose. i would use this time myself and figure out what i wanted also in life. if both of you agree to stay together then i would figure out why all the fighting is going on. maybe see a counselor to help to move forward if both of you want to make it work.

Answer 9

maybe he is telling the truth. give him a little time to figure himself out and see where you go from there. dont call hi, let him call you. if he says you need time apart, then he may get mad if you come to him, even though i personally believe when you love someone you talk to them about anything, which he is not doing.

Answer 10

Let him go. If he really wants you, he'll come back. Don't hold your breath too long though... I'm not saying that I believe it's unlikely he'll come back. Not saying that at all... I'm only saying there's a chance he won't. At that time, you should be ready to move on.