What do you think about this situation?

Question

Last year my friend started dating this guy that I knew of from highschool. The first 2 months they were going out I told her something that I had heard from highschool (a rumor about him) cause she was questioning something that happened at the bar. While they were at the bar, with his younger sister, a guy was hitting on her and my friends bf told the guy to beat it, the guy made an insenuating comment that sounded like he raped someone. My friend told me about it so I told her about the rumor I heard about her bf from highschool. I told her, I heard he raped a girl in highschool but I wasn't sure if it was true. I told her to make sure not to tell him that it was me that told her. Anyway, she asked him about it and when he asked her who told her she told him that I did. Now he hates me and every time we go out he is really really mean to me. What do you think about this situation?

Answer 1

I think that your friend betrayed your friendship because friends should come first and she should have respected her word to not tell him it was you. You were only trying to help her and you need to talk to her about betraying your trust.

Answer 2

Telling anyone something, and asking them not to tell has same chance of happening as privacy statements you read on web.
If your girl friend doesn't see what is going on and make adjustment, which she can do easily, than might be time to look for new best friend at leat temparily.
It would have been good move to say to your friend that you head rumored stuff that indicates she might need to be careful. Telling actual rumors leave some wondering if you had different agenda than helping your friend.

Answer 3

I think you need to grow up a bit, and realize that passing around "rumours" that are very serious, such as this, can cause damage to another person and could land you in court being sued for a large sum!

If you had heard this "rumour" and were so concerned, why didn't you call the police and say "I have heard this about so and so"? I am sure they would investigate it properly. Instead, you wait until how much later and only tell your friend after how long??

You sound like **** disturber.

Answer 4

That is what happens when you listen to and pass on gossip. Someone will always get hurt. You didn't have to put things in those words. You could have said something about an incident at a bar and that would have been enough. Instead you passed on pure gossip. You were not at the bar to hear what was actually said, but you took the word of someone else who could have lied about it. You got exactly what you deserve for gossiping.

Answer 5

I have quite a few years on you and have been through it all. I would stay away from them. You warned your friend and if she doesn't want to hear it, believe me, she won't.
You could be putting your life in danger if this is true. Why take the chance?
You can always make new friends or hang around with other ones.
Let me know how it turns out.
Good luck and I'll say a prayer for you.

Answer 6

I think you did the rigjht thing telling your mate as she could have been vulnerable.I would have tried to find out a bit more ask about, subtly if its true and he is talking about it someone will know.

i do not think your mate should have said it was you that told as that puts you in an awkward position, and he could make things very difficult for you. Does your mate know how he is acting towards you, if so she should say something. She obviously had doubts about him especially after hearing that at the bar, but proberly did not want him to think she was accusing him of something, it easier to blame someone else.

Its a difficult situation, i would suggest talking to your mate about how you feel.
Good luck with this.

Answer 7

Some people are terrible at keeping secrets or agreements.
If the rumor is true, it who cares that he hates you? That could be why he hates you. Some people refuse to admit anything that's true, about them. If the rumor isn't true, then you owe him an apology and she owes you, one. Do you know, yet if it's true? Personally, I think the situation was created by your non-secretive friend.

Answer 8

I think high school rumors should stay in high school. You will always be the odd-woman out when you carry these things on. Apologize and grow up.

Answer 9

Well I feel like you have trusted your friend with the story to protect her. She should talk to her boyfriend and tell him to knock it off and if he doesnt, I would'nt be near them together.

Answer 10

If you passed on a rumor, you brought it on yourself.