whenever i am getting to know a guy or "together" with a guy, i am happy... but once i find out stuff he has done in the past (with other girls or smthng), i am really turned off and i stop liking him or cut off the hope of ever liking him. it kinda sucks becuase i know that stuff goes on in past relationships... but it makes me not want to be with them anymore in the present.
is this normal? how do i get over it?
thanks?
2006-08-27 10:44:21 · 11 answers · asked by mervelash 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Build up your self esteem. You probably feel this way because you have not been with other guys (or you have not done things that your bf has done with other girls). That is okay, I felt that way with my bf at first. I just asked him to not talk about past relationships because it bothered me and he respected me and stopped. However, for a while knowing what he did with other girls lingered with me and I hated it but I forced myself to create NEW experiences with him and forgot about the other girls.
2006-08-27 10:58:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is normal to be a little put off when you get more details than you need about your boyfriend's past sexplorations or even dates that he set up with other girls. If he is telling you too much then he is probably trying to push you into doing something you don't seem up to. Any guy who does that is a little bit of a loser. However, if you get the details from other people then don't listen to intimate details just take caution if they say he was insincere, unfaithful or unsure. When you get to be a certain age everyone you date will have been with someone else before you. After all, you have been with other people. It's just something you have to live with. Try to get a good idea of what you want and don't want in someone and take the time to get to know them. This does not mean that you should ever settle for someone that you know is not for you. The little things we notice and don't like in the beginning but overlook just because we want to be with someone, usually seem even bigger when things don't work out later.
2006-08-27 11:01:04 · answer #2 · answered by - 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its normal and understandable. I too would be "turned off". I am glad that my husband (and I) were both virgins when we married, he hadn't even kissed someone else before.... I'm not sure how I would feel if he had been sexually active before...
Perhaps try to look for guys who haven't had the pasts that you dislike? Perhaps try attending a church with a good singles program? Perhaps try a Church of Christ - (non-deonominational).
You have every right to be picky! Then when you get married you can enjoy a HOT sex life like we do! :)
2006-08-27 10:57:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you've actuall been with a guy you too would develop a past and perhaps you too might have to divulge into that with the next guy you meet. I too felt like that till I met the right person and was willing to overlook all of his past and just like him for who he is. Besides why not create your own past and then dont feel sorry for accepting somebody else who has one too. This way you dont feel like you have compromised on anything and it would allow you to forgive this person also. By that however I dont mean you catch the next guy on the street and let your clothes fly in the wind.
All I mean is when you meet a nice guy create your own memories and if he isnt your type let go. Till you meet your Mr. Right you wouldn't feel so sorry for yourself either.
2006-08-27 10:54:55 · answer #4 · answered by stranger's wife 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try telling your partner that you know they had a past but would rather not know about it. Sometimes it just drives you nuts. Its a little immature to be that way but you can't help what you feel.
Just work on sticking with the guy if he's worth it and the past will work its way out of your head.
2006-08-27 10:54:49 · answer #5 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if you cant get past someone having a past then you will always be unhappy, or you can go to the nearest grade school and raise one from the get go. Chances are the little rascal will not like what you have done in your past and dump you.
2006-08-27 10:55:14 · answer #6 · answered by daydoom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It relies upon on what objective grew to become into smthng incorrect executed and how enormous it grew to become into. returned even if if there grew to become into any violation of regulation in smthng incorrect executed. in any different case sorry is sufficient by using basically pushing you somewhat by using mistake.
2016-11-05 21:59:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, something is wrong with you. You don't acknowledge the posibilty that he's changed since then. That your information about him is wrong. You don't listen to explanation, when you're told one, consequently you don't accept the explanation. The possibitliy that what he did wasn't his idea, or fault.That it was necessary. (Never setereo type, girlie! It's offensive. And never presume anything, either.) The fact that there's more than one person of every name.
2006-08-27 10:54:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its happened 2 me actually not 2 long ago u see the guy i liked 2 timed my friend well they broke ^ all my friends r asking do u still like him i said yes i'll make sure that he doesn't do it if he does just brake ^ wit him or set things strait wit him
2006-08-27 10:53:40 · answer #9 · answered by lollipop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend was in prison, and I didnt know until after we were together for a while.
I still dont know why he was in there, but he treats me good and we both agreed that it is in our past.
Even his probation officer and I dont talk about it.
2006-08-27 11:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by Little Bit the Ferret 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋