Telling a girl the truth?

Question

MK, this is long and complicated. I have a bad past. my father was a alcoholic and drank himself to death when i was 13. About that time i really liked this girl and she liked me a lot too. I was really into her but never did anything about it because i was depressed, embarrased, and super pissed off about my fathers death at the time. I never really told her what was going on or how i felt. OK, so here i am 2 years later and i still like her but she hates me and thinks i am lame for letting her down. I still really like her and i dont blame her for how she fells because i never really did give an explantion. I want to make amends and ask her out but dont know where to start. PLEASE HELP.

Answer 1

Just talk to her and tell her the truth. Let her know that with the situation you were going through with your father you just weren't in a place to start dating someone. Tell her you liked her then and you still like her now and would like to have a chance to see if a relationship could work out. Just be honest and sincere with her.

Answer 2

Yes, the truth is a good place to start. After you give her a friendship gift, flowers are always nice. Then tell her I was really in to you back then, but my issues with my father got in the way. However, I am still really interested in you and I would like a second chance. Then give her your best "puppy dog expression," and say, “I am sorry, that I let my father get in the way, but I had to work out those feelings.”

Then, if she is still listening, why don't you explain what some of those feelings were and still are (make it clear what you are feeling now). Women like to know the details and the underlying motive (it's in their genes as part of the best way for them to raise a family). By sharing some of your pain with her you leave yourself open to her and she will realize that and it might make her more likely to want to share her life with you.

Naturally do this in private, like a weekend lunch or a meeting where you can spend some time talking to each other without having the rest of the world intrude on you. Don't do this by email or over the phone. If you want to get personal or close to her then you need to BE personal and close to her.

Answer 3

Hold off on asking her out right now. If you find it difficult to talk to her or she won't listen then write her a letter. Try to establish communication before jumping into dating. Especially since you said you haven't had much to do with eachother for such a long time. Some girls find it creepy when guys become too emotional too soon. Besides, growing up with a parent like that can have a big effect on how you view relationships. Trust me, I am a lot older than you and had the same issues with my father so I know you will have bigger things to work through than this girl. If she can't understand your situation or at least empathize then she is not worth it.

Answer 4

Ask if you could talk to her. Don't just ask her out. Tell her what was going on and how you felt. Be ready if she gets upset. 2 years is a long time.

As long as you're comfortable telling her what happened, tell the truth. If she doesn't like you anymore, fine. At least the air is clear and she won't think you're lame. Having the courage to tell her after so long does give you points. It shows you were being considerate and thought her feelings are important.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Honesty is KEY!
Call her and meet her somewhere.. a park or somewhere nice.

Just start with telling her that you never meant to hurt her... and start to tell her about your childhood and growing up.. then when you get to the point about your Father's death you can tie it all in together.

BTW, My Father was also an alcoholic and died from alcohol realted issues. I was 20, it was sudden and still hurts.. 7 years later.

God Bless You and good luck!

Answer 6

How about asking her to meet you somewhere quiet for a very private conversation? How could she refuse? Her curiosity will make her accept the invitation.

When you are both settled and ready to talk, you can go back to your emotions at that time of your life. Explain it to her like you have explained it here. She will be touched that you were able to finally tell her what happened, and she may also still have feelings for you. Good luck.

Answer 7

relies upon how tall you're mate, ok i might say you have 6 years to get each and all the females you elect for and then something of your existence to discover somebody suitable to marry, while you're around 5'5" to 5'8" then i might say you deliver down the burden to 2 hundred or 220. think of approximately dropping the burden and not gaining muscle. Get out, jog/run atleast 3-5km an afternoon. DONT walk. and attempt going to yoga or aerobic. connect a activities team. Kick boxing or MMA working example. something to shrink weight. you have summer season ruin so im guessing you have a month to do what ever. regular spend atleast 3 hours to shrink weight. and don't devour risky nutrition no count how lots it tempts you. Drink water no pop/activities beverages. desire i help thank you

Answer 8

just tell her you really need to talk to her because it is very important (best 2 talk 2 her in person) then explain why u acted how u did n apologize (n dont worry about crying infront of her if u do coz it will show u mean it n that u are comfortable around her n trust herwith ur feelings n heart) afta explaining and apologizing tell her your really sorry n would like a 2nd chance with her because you really care about her n have feelings for her

Answer 9

People can always redeem themselves I suggest you start. Stop using your past as a crutch but as a tool. You have the skills from your experiences help others. Everything else will work itself out. Good luck to you. Now I just have to say it cause it's my thing slap

Answer 10

Ok, i think that you should tell her the whole situation, and she will understand and give you another chance. Just walk up to her and start talking like, "hey, ummm...can i talk to you for a second?" and move on from there.

I hope that I helped!