Ever loved and lost?

Question

I lost the true love of my life.Tell me your stories...

Answer 1

Sure. But what can you do? Sometimes life is like an abba song. The difference is I didn't become multi-multi-multi millionaire pop star based on the loss.

The one thing I would say is that something big like this usually inspires a lot of jealousy and interference from the people around the couple. It's like people secretly can't stand to have a pair so insanely completed by one another and they do their best in different ways to wreck it. It's the classic Romeo and Juliet idea - the message that doesn't get delivered, the best friend who tells a lie, the gossip and games -- often masquerading as friendship and help -- that people play who are not in the inner circle created by the two lovers. But at the end of the day, no one can say what exists in a relationship between two people except those two people. I have also noticed that usually one person in the pair really mucks things up at the crucial point of vulnerability; it seems that such an experience of overwhelming love overturns one's individual identity and that can be very frightening.

That said, looking back, I can say it gave me a finer sense of drama (can you tell) and it did change my life completely, and I can thank him for that. It opens up your mind, gives you a different perspective on the world from those who have never gone through the experience. You know that there is a deeper current of truth running under everything and life becomes more real, connected and more important.

That said, such wisdom always comes at a price. I have a friend whose love of her life got married to another girl last year; now my friend's father and brother are dying from two different terminal illnesses. I can't help thinking that fate has been cruel to her. As for the guy, you could tell they were each other's one true love, and I think he should have stood by her. Always, though, it seems, we figure these things out too late.

And to completely demythologize the whole thing, someone once told me that the whole experience of falling completely in love is actually some sort of chemical reaction in the brain and has an effect similar to shooting heroin. Fortunately or not, it doesn't last. It has something to do with biological procreational urges.

Answer 2

I am dealing with that pain now. I have been with this man for a year and a half and things just started to go sour. At first he adored me, couldn't get enough of me, and would listen and affectionate. After a year his true colors started coming out. He would start arguments, if I had a concern he would turn it around to be the victim, and stopped being affectionate. It hurts so bad because I thought this was it. I tried so hard to be interested in everything he was into but he could care less about me. It hurts to know that he doesn't want anything to do with this relationship. He could care less to call or to try to work things out. It really hurts but I now know how I should be treated.

Answer 3

Only too many times! Once I lost her to my (former) best friend. Even now I don`t know wich hurted the most - loosing my love or my friend. No matter how or when it happens, the pain is terrible and you think it will never go away. The good thing is that it does go away! Trust me! Think of is as a test for the days to come. You will find someone to love and who will love you back, someone you deserve and deserves you. One more thing: "What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger" (Nietche)

Answer 4

I love a man and he loves me.

We live apart and at the start I agreed to do things his way because he works and I am a stay home mum. Trouble is after the wooing stopped and he caught and had me, I found out that his way means hardly any contact at all. I rarely know where he is, what he does or even if he is alive. I promised to put my life in his hands and he has just put it on hold. I can not move on.

I am in limbo.

Answer 5

The man that I thought I was going to marry left me. I stopped eating, sleeping, and talkling to my friends. I thought about him every second of every day. And then randomly, about two years later, I met a man that I Iove in a completley different way. It is the kind of love I have always needed.

You thought he was the one for you because until this point he was the best man you knew. But he left, and so it is not meant to be.

When your feeling depressed, just remember that he was just a preview of something better to come. You will never forget your ex, but there is someone out there who can make you happy again.

Answer 6

So did I. It was love at first sight and we were together for 8 years. When I lost our baby, I had a breakdown which he supported me through for a year. On our first night out together after my recovery, I was innocently talking to a man when my b/f got jealous. Dunno why, he knew I adored him! Anyway, they went outside the pub, punches were thrown, then my b/f went home got a knife and stabbed this man in the belly right in front of me. Police were called, he was arrested and luckily the man survived. I never did find out who he was. I was forbidden from seeing my b/f as I was a material witness even though I refused to testify. My b/f was deeply remorseful and it was definitely out of character so was found not guilty! The jury decided he had been under duress and was just protecting me. The trial took a year to come to court and as we weren't allowed to see each other, it killed our relationship. I miss him still 10 years later.

Answer 7

I thought I had met the love of my life 6 years ago, we were together for four years.

Unfortunately, he suffers from short attention span and was easily distracted by a 20 year old with a baby. He's in his 40's.

Answer 8

I had a b/f many years ago, that I was truely in love with. I think about him alot and sometimes I look at old pics of him and want to cry. My husband now is a great guy......but I will never get over the one I should have been with.

Answer 9

We had our eye on each other for a couple of years but I was 3 years his senior.
I got older and approached him.
We have been in love for the past 2 years, but I recently had to let him go because he has drinking, problems no job, and no ambitions.
We are best friends but I want him to get himself together b4 we can continue.
He is my lifethough.

Answer 10

My first bf used me and I absolutely was obsessed with him. I thought that he was my dream guy. It took me forever to get over him. Now that I am not a teenie-bopper anymore and have self esteem, I could give a rats patooty what he was doing now. I hope that someone has hurt him the way he hurt me, he was the most arrogant jerk I ever met. My revenge, I am with someone now 100 times hotter and who treats me like a queen!