To anyone..Wy wife was having an affair for at least a year. I found out.?

Question

I am divorcing her, buying her out of the house,and going for custody of the kids. Am I right or wrong?

Answer 1

It usually is like that. The one who's been cheated on will get custody of the children. So that every thing will be over and done fast, just do whatever is best for you and the children. Let her pay for the damage she's caused u and your kids.

Answer 2

Divorce is the right answer but some of your desires wont happen. The affair doesnt matter as far as the divorce is concerned. Unless your wive has been charged with or pending with child or drug abuse, chances are she will get custody of your children as the court favor maternal custody. Along with that will come child support, the house and possible spousal support. Now if you two are on possible friendly terms and agree on the divorce and can work out the details together, you would be better off and cheaper. This way you could buy her interest in the house out and work out the child custody instead of letting the court decide where they favor your wife. Sorry about your marriage and the best of luck in getting your children

Answer 3

It's not about right or wrong here. There are children involved. And children need to feel secure, loved and wanted. Please do not take your children from her for revenge. "If" that is what you are doing. I don't believe the saying, "once a cheater always a cheater." I believe everyone deserves a second chance. There is a reason she had an affair and it has to do with the marriage. Partners who have affairs are doing so because they are missing so much in the marriage. No, I'm not saying it's right, it's not. But something was wrong with the marriage for her to do this. You may not care what it is, you may not forgive her, you are divorcing her, but in the end, there WAS something wrong in the marriage. I say if you want to divorce her, then do so, if you want to buy her out of the house, then do so, but when it comes to those children, you may need to rethink what you have decided. Children need both their mom and their dad, but... if she is a good mother, they need her more. Sorry, but true. All I'm saying is, calm down, rethink what you have decided. Try not to be angry around each other when the kids are around. Kids will sometime start to think it is their fault that the two of you are angry and in the end it will affect them in their lives forever. I know your hurting, but try to be calm and make rational decisions at this point. Good luck to you. Just remember, God forgives for anything.............

Answer 4

Really depends on her reasons for having an affair. If you where in a loving relationship, and she just got bored with you Id be looking at what you messed up with. The house and custody is a totally different matter though, just because she had and affair doesnt mean that you should be ripping everything from under her either. Kids need a mother and a father that work together even if they are seperated. I think maybe you should try to come to a mutual arrangement first.

Answer 5

Not enough information to make this determination. Do you love her? Is she sorry that she caused all of this? What would you want if the shoe was on the other foot? I suppose if the love is gone and you cannot find it in your heart to forgive her and the thought of her having an affair will always be on your mind.. then yes.. divorce is the best thing to do. If you do love her.. then love is sometimes worth the uphill battle to protect and preserve. People do make mistakes.. I realize this was hurtful and there is no just cause. I also believe in giving others a second chance when the second chance is worth the effort. That all depends on you and your feelings. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

You are RIGHT !! Take all you can, before she does it to you. I will tell you why . She will make you pay child support on top of cleaning you out. I know one young man, whose wife ran around and had no Shame. The biatch took the kids, made this poor man pay child support of $1,300.00 , a month . The kids was lucky if they even got enough of the money to buy clothes. She used it for her and her new man to buy a home. The innocent Father suffered, because his ex, was an Adulteress. AND worse the children suffered, because this low life Mother didn't even take good care of them. The step-father even put a padalock on the refrigerator,so the children couldn't eat while they were gone somewhere.
No Shame to some women. Take custody, because if she does a rotten thing like cheating, who knows who she will leave the children with, while she continues to cheat.

Answer 7

Well, you certainly are justified in what you are doing and, if you care, it is Biblical grounds for divorce.
However, you would be doing your children a HUGE favor if you didn't leave. Your children will never be the same after a divorce, it affects them for the rest of their lives and they never get over it. Study after study has shown this to be true.
I'm NOT saying you have to stay but if you think that there is ANY chance that she would never do this again and the marriage could be put back together, then I say you should consider staying.

Answer 8

question for you, why was she having an affair? is it because you guys argued too much, didnt sleep with eachother? Is it really all her fault? LAW: it takes two to make a fight. Think about. maybe you should try marriage couseling. MAybe she still loves you and this was just the only way to get your attention. SHe wants your attention. When women suggest divorce they dont always mean it. Please reconsider

Answer 9

You are 100% correct in this effort. I don't care what other women may say. A man is just as good a parent as a woman. She is the one who broke the marriage apart, and you were the innocent one. She has already shown how important her family is to her by doing what she did. Go for it and Good Luck!!

Answer 10

right... but... there is a reason for the affair. when you said 'i do" to the till death do us part line, you commited yourself. cheating is a horrible thing anyone can do. But, there is a reason for it. unfortunatley, you may not be satisfying her needs. I would really try to make it work. god forgives everyone. I think that if the situation is worth it, and you truley love her, i think that going to a marriage counselor would be better. You may not be home enough, you my not "pleasure" her like she wants, or you may just not be willing to keep up a realtionship, which iis A LOT of work. try and work at it not only for your kids, but for you and her. Maybe try to change your lives for the better, move out of state, treat her to a date night once a week, month ect. show her you love her and that she is special. it was wrong of her to go behind your back like that, but hey, it happens to alot of people unfortunatly. just keep your head up. please try and make it work, for the kids, and for your past.