i always belived my husband with eveything and all of the sudden i found out that he was cheating on me. i took him back and then now i fell like i can never trust him anymore. i feel bad but what do i do about it we had councling but the trust is still an issuse since this issue i not sure on what to do about it i call and i feel like hes tring not to awner his cell im worried do i leave him or stay trst him or stay in disbelife.
2006-08-27 09:12:47 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't know......but let me tell you this, you will never feel the same because you'll always wonder if he's still messin with the other girl. (especially when he ignores your calls on his cell). and if you don't know the girl..you'll always wonder who she is. and whenever he's late getting home...you will get yourself all upset thinking he's with her. also when you're making Love, you might wonder if he's fantasizing about her! not to mention the Horror of catching a STD he brought home to you from her!
I personally went through a very painful time when I was married
to the man I Loved, trusted, and had 2 daughters from.. But things started to change. He was coming home real late from work, sometimes getting in the next day! I was so sick with worry.
He always had an excuse! I never even in my wildest dreams imagined he was seeing someone!....he confessed onemorning, he kept on seeing her. she had his daughter. I Divorced his dirty ***. he was 26 then and she barely 17! I could go on but I Think you get the picture. good luck with your decission girl. go with your gut feeling and god bless.
2006-08-27 11:29:24 · answer #1 · answered by Vtownn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to me. The problem is not in you, your mind, nor you body. You have a right to distrust him. Make yourself believe that 'cause it's as true as true can be. People become trusted by being trustworthy so HE'S the one with the problem. Let trust be an issue and make that very clear to him. Tell him he has to earn trust back and it may take a long, long time. It will take as long as it takes. You don't really know when your spouse is telling the truth so act accordingly. Check on him when you feel like checking on him.
2006-08-27 16:28:50 · answer #2 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know from your own personal struggles.....that once the trust has been broken....it's not easy to repair.
I would have the same issues that you are currently going thru if that happened to me. It will take a long time to rebuild that trust if at all. It's not a light switch that will magically come on. It will take a lot of time and patience and nurturing.
It's sounds like you are trying your best to make it work....he has to now do his part. Good luck.
2006-08-27 16:42:42 · answer #3 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a very difficult thing to win back. Your husband should be more understanding, after all he's the one who cheated. He should go out of his way to call and check in with you and reassure you. Its his problem not yours. If he can't convince you that he is worthy of your trust again, then you will never trust him again. Not sure what your counsellor has said, but I'm talking from experience and professional advice. HE has to realise you will be insecure and act accordingly.
2006-08-27 16:19:34 · answer #4 · answered by sarkyastic31 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really don't. Once a trust (especially a blind trust like yours) has been violated, it has been violated for good. No amount of amends will ever make up for the lost trust.
And what is worst, that lack of trust will no longer be towards the individual who lied to you, but to everyone else you may be in a a relationship with. Such betrayal truly changes you as a person.
2006-08-27 16:17:04 · answer #5 · answered by expatriate59 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You won't ever know and the longer you are with him the more your relationship will erode. Til it gets to the point that you don't even want to fix it. I'm not going to give the tired old answer to get counseling. We both know that doesn't work. And I don't know if you have anywhere you can go. If you don't I would say stay only as long as you have to but, be looking for someone else to leave him for. Someone you can love and trust and that will love you.
2006-08-27 17:05:23 · answer #6 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know how to come about trusting a man again. My husband also lied to me about many things, but he hasn't cheated. Everytime I look at him when he's speaking I'm wondering if it's all a lie. I couldn't imagine getting back with a man who cheated on me. You have to be a strong person to overcome that kind of thing. If you can't seem to get over it then it would be best for you to move on with your life, so you wouldn't have to live like that no more.
2006-08-27 16:22:27 · answer #7 · answered by Carrie! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will always be a kernel of doubt. It has to do with his attitude. If he's repentant and stays that way you can get through it. If he's not then its to the curb. He needs to understand that you really don't trust him right now so he better be his most attentive. If he's not willing then all the counseling in the world won't work. He is the one who screwed up. If he's not going out of his way to make amends I fear for what's left of your relationship.
2006-08-27 16:44:06 · answer #8 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe this relationship has run its course. Like they say..once a cheat always a cheat. It is up to you weather to tolerate this or not. Cheating is the ultimate knife in the back. Good luck with this.
2006-08-27 16:30:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't get over the fact that he has cheated on you, then give the relationship some space. Give yourselves some time apart if you can't handle it. Once some time has passed then you would know to yourself if you want or do not want the relationship.
2006-08-27 16:42:40 · answer #10 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋