wat is going on with this guy!?

Question

ok, there's this guy & he's a couple of years older than me. he's great! i really like him, i have for like a year now. well, he use to call me all the time every single night, & we use to hang out, but now he doesn't do that as much. We still talk on the phone & hang out. He always seemed interested in me, now i can't tell, becuz when we are on the phone he acts as if he is interested, & then today, he just stopped & looked at me it gave me chills down my spine. & i called over to talk to me, & he gave me this look & smiled and i swear it was the fastest i'd ever seen him walk. {lol he's a slow walker.} he seemed so excited to talk to me, & a few weeks ago he asked me to go with him to a ball game, i went, but nothing happened.{his parents were there to though.} i'm so confused, i can't tell if he's interested or if he's not. Any help?

when i say that he was walking fast i mean he was walking to me becuz i called him over to talk & he seemed excited to talk to me cuz he got this look & smiled & started towards me.

Answer 1

you are not giving him anything to work with. you may think you are being flirty but you are most likely being nice. and your body language may be off which is why he acts more flirty on the phone. do you touch him when you talk try that and see if that doesnt get things going faster. or you could just ask blunt but effective

Answer 2

Orchestrate a time out where its just the two of you. You don't have to ask him out directly but make it something casual. Flirt with him and see what he does. If he does nothing then casually say it feels like a date and see what he says to that. Do everything light hearted, that way if it back fires you can just shrug it off as a joke or misunderstanding.

Answer 3

He probably doesn't know what to do, he's confused about his feelings for you. Just ride it out if you like him a lot, try to spend a little more time together without his parents. And look around a bit for someone more mature.

Answer 4

I think this guy is having some problems, it doesn't nessecarily mean its you but his friends might be giving him a hard time or his parents might or he just is going through some hard times... ask him ya never know.

Answer 5

Some people are good talking,on the phone some are good in bed,Because they sleep well,other are good at every thing, Teach him, if you love him.

Answer 6

maybe he got tired of waiting for a sign from you to let him know for sure that you like him to. Bust a move girl!

Answer 7

You didn't specify what your ages are, but I'll assume that since you went to a ball game with his parents there that you're in your teens since adults usually tend to move away from involving their parents in activities.

In fact, depending on the age of the guy, having the parents in attendance at an event with someone of the opposite sex can have totally different meanings.

For adults, they usually won't introduce a female to their parents or involve them in activities with their parents because that's an unspoken act of bringing that person into the family. It's very subtle, but that's why you even have the movie "Meet the Parents" with Ben Stiller and Robert DeNiro that makes fun of that "rite of passage" hoping that the parents will accept the individual their child has chosen to spend time with.

If it's a teenager who is inviting the someone of the opposite sex to a family activity, it doesn't have as much meaning because usually the teenager is just tagging along or it's the parents who are providing the mode of the transportation or sponsoring the event.

I answered a previous question a couple days ago that was talking about the love in regard to what age defines maturity to knowing what is and isn't love.

In one example, I'd said that if it's an 8 year old fawning over a 20 year old female following her around and showering her with displays of affection, the female and others would think it's cute. If it was a 58 year old male engaging in the same behavior, it would be perceived as creepy or that the guy is some dirty old man or stalker.

The age of you two makes a difference because if you're both teenagers, a year in secondary school is means a lot more time has passed than in regular adult life. Different rules apply in the Social Strata of Junior High and High School compared to the Adult World.

In Junior High and High School, there's continuous daily contact because everyone is in the same local establishment, which is the school. Regardless of whether you see someone or not that day, you tend to know what their class schedule is and people will tend to notice if someone is sick and unable to show up for classes.

In the Adult World, people have more range and mobility in where they go and what they do. So if you don't see someone for three or four days, it's not the end of the world. They may actually be busy.

So in regards to your scenario you've laid out, if both of you are teenagers and you're calling each other on the phone for a year, that's typical. If both of you were in your 30s and you call each other every day, some would people would claim daily phone calls to be perceived as clingy behavior on the either one or both of you.

When you said that you saw him where he smiled and then walked away quickly, it means one thing in secondary school and another in adulthood. Most likely, if it sounds like this took place in school.

The interesting about secondary school is that it's really much like World Politics, which is kind of disturbing to a certain degree. People wonder why World Politicians can't just snap their fingers or just take action cutting ties with someone or refusing to work with someone. However, it's not that simple.

When people try to prescribe solutions for World Leaders, it's the same way parents or peopel who aren't in secondary school try to give simple cut and dried answers to teenagers. They forget that whatever the teenager does will have effects they'll feel because they're the ones who have to interact with the people they snub or turn their backs on at school.

People in Junior High and High School can talk and spread rumors that can destroy someone's reputation at the school making it humiliating. That's reflection of Celebrity Lives and how reputations can be destroyed.

In answer to your question, it could be that he was interested in you a year ago, but his interest has either waned or he found someone else new. If this is a junior high or high school arena, this is normal.

In junior high, I used to have the hugest crush on this one girl in 8th Grade that lasted till the end of 9th Grade. I think she liked me as well, but because I didn't act on it, it just dried up. When I ran into her in 10th Grade, we talked but it was really civil or distant.

2 years in junior high and high school is like the equivalent of 4 - 6 in adult years. So the year you spent talking to a guy and where it seemed like there was interest would've been the natural course of a 2 - 3 year relationship if you're both teenagers.

If this is in a school setting, the reason why he may have smiled and walked away fast is because of that World Politics example where both of you are in a school and since it's a closed environment, he can walk away from you, but he can't really spurn you just avoid you altogether because he is going to run into you at some point and have to deal with the repercussions of how he treated you. That's a delicate situation.

It could be possible that he's engaging in Avoidant Behavior where he may just want to be friends with you and is trying to find a way to subtly cool down the relationship without hurting your feelings. Maybe he went through some life-altering experience (i.e. developed a crush on another girl).

The other possibility, if you're teenagers, is that he may not have realized he was courting a relationship with you. When I was in 10th Grade, I was goofing around with this girl in Band. We'd joke around and I was being goofy and silly. I'd always make her laugh.

The next thing I knew, there were rumors spreading that she had a crush on me. Because I wasn't interested in her and just wanted her as a friend, I totally backpedaled because that's not the relationship I wanted.

Because I didn't want to hurt her feelings and would see her in Band Class every day, I took the subtle approaching limiting contact with her and making sure I didn't give anymore signals that gave any ideas that I wanted an intimate relationship with her. She eventually understood and no words were ever spoken.

Once again, I'm spit-balling under the assumption that you're a teenager and what seem to be hints that this is in an adolescent construct. If I've misread the signs, then maybe more elaboration is necessary.

However, you appear to have covered most of the important points. Age really shouldn't be an issue whether you're in secondary school or an adult.

Interestingly enough, that's what makes Love and Relationships so complex. There are so many different layers to a relationship, which is why people find it difficult to pinpoint how others feel about them.

Relationships become complicated because they're woven out of so many different norms, values, spiritual beliefs, etiquette, manners, appropriate and inappropriate behavior, body language, and signs that mean so many different things.

In the whole courtship ritual, we all learn that males have to jump through hoops when it comes to whatever opening gambit they use to approach a female. You'll have their attention for a little bit, but if you say or do the wrong thing, you'll strike out.

Sales and Marketing is the same thing where whatever you open with will determine whether people choose to view your product or not. News Headlines depend on what is used as a catchy title to lure people into reading that article. If it's uninteresting or drab, no one will read it.

On the first date, if you open up too much talking about your past relationships, your exes, your shortcomings, your insecurities, and all the problems in your life, that person won't want to go on a second date with you.

Sadly enough there aren't any Instruction Manuals floating around when it comes to the Mechanics of Love and it's something parents rarely teach their children. So children are forced to muck around blindly and have to do things by trial and error, which can sometimes be an unpleasant experience.

Answer 8

maybe he was interested in you at first, got to know you a little better, and now he is not interested anymore...

Answer 9

he's dazed and confused..lol

just don't bother with him or just talk to him about it or some of his friends about it

Answer 10

hes confused too... DROP HIM.. he seem simmature to keep leading u on like this..