wht if ur 13 year old daughter got pregnant by her bf and said tht she was goin to keep the baby?

Question

wht would u do???

Answer 1

Exactly what happened in these stories:
http://snurl.com/girl13
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=1121138&page=1

Answer 2

Well, first of all I would pray. If it were my daughter, she wouldn't have a boyfriend in the first place. That is such a young age for a girl to get pregnant. Then I would talk to her, realistically, about what she can expect if she does have this baby. How will they support the baby, where will they live, how will they continue their education, who will care for the baby while they are at school/ work? Get together with the boy's parents and discuss all the aspects and finances.
If there is anyone in the family that has a baby, have them take care of it for a few hours. They will soon realize how much it takes to raise a baby.
I surely hope you can talk her out of keeping the baby. That is not good for her or the baby. I am not for abortion, so in this case I would say the best thing to do is to give the baby up for adoption. They are way too young to be able to give the baby what it needs and to be able to provide for it. At 13, the baby would be entering school when mom is (maybe) just finishing high school. By keeping the baby, it is not beneficial for either one of them. I really don't believe a 13 year old can raise a baby the way that an adult can.
I am a teacher and I see this everyday. Many of my students come to me from young teenaged moms who are still kids themselves. The mom cannot help their child because they are still trying to make it themselves. They live in poverty and struggle just with everyday needs. Their child's education suffers from their own lack of education. That child goes on to constantly struggle through school and may follow in his/her parent's footsteps and drop out of school or get pregnant young.
Then, they could be grandparents by the time they are 27!
Don't get me wrong, there are some young parents that have the maturity to raise their kids right. But I've seen the first scenario played out much more than the latter.
I think adoption is the best thing for everyone involved. There are so many married couples out there that cannot have a child of thier own and have the ability to raise and nurture it in the right way. And if you do go this route, put your daughter on birth control so this won't happen again.
Hope this helps!

Answer 3

Find a way to have her take care of a baby for at least a 24 hour period, and then see what she thinks. In the end I would support her, whatever the decision, as that little baby would be my grandchild - I will soon have six of those.

If she is determined to keep the baby, then she has to be responsible for it. I would find a way for her to continue her education as well, though, as she is probably going to need that. She does need to understand that parties, socializing, after school activities, etc. are pretty much over for her for a few years except on the infrequent occasions a baby sitter can be arranged.

Have a meeting with you, her, the boy friend and his parents to discuss the situation and how to handle this stage and to plan for future stages - child support should be expected - it is his baby too. And I would encourage him to be part of the baby's life if at all possible - the baby has a right to his/her father. Is her boyfriend the same age as her, or is he older? If he is enough older than her that he is considered a child molester you may have to look at things in a different light.

If it were my grandchild I would have a difficult time if they decided to place the baby for adoption, but they have to make that decision.

In the overall scheme of things there are much worse things that could happen to your daughter. A baby is not exactly good planning for her right now, but neither is it the end of the world.

I hope these thoughts help.

Answer 4

I have two young daughters who have yet to reach their teen years so, I will answer honestly based on what my reaction to them would be.
First of all, I would hope that I raised them well enough to understand that sex is NOT a game. Having a baby or an STD is NOT a game.
You may think that you are madly in love with your boyfriend that you have now. I'm not denying that you do have feelings for him but, it will not last. It never does.
You have your whole life to have a baby. And I know many people will tell you that once you have a baby you can kiss your own life good-bye. And to an extent it is true.
You no longer can put yourself and your wants first. Every move you make will be based upon what is good for your child.
There will be no partying, no hanging out with friends, no going to the mall, no driving around and having fun when you get your license. You will be too busy at home changing diapers and dealing with a crying baby.
I think it is very easy for a young girl to fall into the trap of thinking that having a baby will either 1. keep a boyfriend 2. a baby will love her unconditionally.
You need to ask yourself what you lack in your life. Do you not feel loved by your parents? Do you not love yourself enough?
You need to solve these problems before you subject a baby to a young teen mother.
I'm not saying that teen mothers are bad. Don't get me wrong here. I know a lot of teen mothers who make better parents then some parents who are in their 30's or 40's.
But, realistically...your baby will miss out on things because of your age. You can't work so how can you support a child?
And as hurtful as it sounds, your boyfriend and you will not last. The baby will be stuck without 2 loving parents.
Now if the deed is already done and you are already pregnant then I would say it is completely your choice what to do next.
I would never tell my daughters what to do with their bodies.
I would present them with all available options..abortion, adoption and keeping the baby. I would help them reach a decision that would be best for them.
If they did decide to keep the child then I would help them financially but, I would not deal with´the child rearing aspect.
It would be their responsibility since they decided they were ready for sex. They would have to change all the diapers, stay up all night with a teething baby, etc. It would be straight home from school to take care of baby. No going out, no dating, no parties.
I honestly hope that this situation never happens to either of my daughters.

Answer 5

I would sit down & try to talk about all the things needed to raise a baby. Since she is 13, she is going to believe that she can do things on her own. See if any close friends had a baby. If they have, have her spend a couple nights there... but have her take care of the baby. The baby needs to be small enough to help her realize that having a baby is a life changing event. Help her understand that her current boyfriend isn't going to want to be around her all the time. She will have to give up going out with friends & going to the mall. And especially spending any money on herself. Take her shopping; and take a pen & paper. Go "buy" diapers, and bottles, formula, clothes; everything a baby needs. I had my first child at 19. I'm now 23 & expecting my 4th. I've been married for 2 yrs. And I lived with my parents for 4 months after my son was born... my husband (boyfriend at the time) never came by, never. I would call him everyday in tears, he always had something better to do. I do not doubt that your 13 yr old daughter will not love that baby with all her heart, but it will be a very very very tough road ahead of her. I pray that she decides that in order for her to feel like she truly enjoyed her teenage years, to give the baby up for adoption. Being 13 & pregnant, and going to school is a very tough thing to do. You have 3 more years till you drive. Your friends aren't going to want to put a car seat in their car when you go out. And if you have a baby now...you child will be 5 when you finally turn legal, when ur 18. And then when you turn 21 & you can finally legally drink... you will have a 8 year old watching your every move... forget leaving alcohol in the house, your 8 yr old will be tryin to get into it.

I pray for best to you, your family & your 13 year old. Having a child so young is going to make you regret your teenage years.

Answer 6

This is a very personal response. Each different person will have his or her own way to cope with this situation.

Well, first thing I would try to get in touch with the boy-friend's parents, if he has them, and see if they are willing to help to raise the kid with both financial and affective support. For it's obvious that the couple alone is too young and immature for it. They would have their share of work and responsibility, of course, but they would need the help of the grandparents and other members of the families at least for a few years.

Second, I would try to give her the best nutrition and the best condition during pregnancy, so that the baby would be as healthy as possible. A healthy baby is always easier to raise. I would encourage her to have a normal birth (provided that she is not too small for it), to breastfeed, to sleep together with the baby, etc. The father would also be asked to do his share.

This was a mistake, but it is not the end of the world. Who knows, the baby about to be born will bring happiness and harmony to the families?

I wouldn't force them to marry each other. Young people who marry usually will divorce after a few years. The important thing would be to make both parents never lose contact with their child, whether they remain together or not.

Answer 7

First off, if I had a13 year old daughter had a boyfriend and she got pregnant, i shuld be hauled off to jail for child abuse, because I have not done my job as a father.

Now in the instance that this did happen, I think that would be a very tough discusssion. I would tell her the options she has and the up and downsides of each decison. No matter what, the girl's life is in her own hands. the girl would have to try and find a job to support the child and get an education just like any other teen.

Answer 8

I definitely wouldn't kick her out. Things happen. I was once a teenager. I had sex for the first time when I was 14. Luckily I never got pregnant. But when I was 20 I got pregnant. With out my mom it would have been really hard. Raising a child is hard, but what are you going to teach your daughter if you kick her out? All mistakes can be forgiven. Would you want her wandering the streets alone? She made a mistake that can easily lead her to a life of welfare but with the right parents and the right help she can go back to school, get her career and still be able to keep her baby. Noone regardless of age should have to be forced into an abortion and worse yet being forced into an abortion or living on your own. TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS REGARDLESS OF WHAT THEY DO!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

I would honor her decision to not kill her unborn child.

I would sit down and talk to her about the implications of being a teen mother, both for her and for the baby.

Those implications are:

The mother may not be ready to take care of an infant, toddler, child.

age of mother...age of offspring

14...infant
16...toddler
18...child in pre-K for 4 year olds
20...1st grade
22...3rd grade
24...5th grade
27...7th grade, and perhaps your daughter/son will be making you a grand-parent.

The mother is not economically ready to support her child. The mother cannot get a job in most states until she turns 17. One must ask her who is going to pay for the baby's needs until then?

Although the mother and baby may do ok, they will never reach their individual potentials if they stay together. The mother will be hindered by the child, the child wil be hindered by the mother.

I would suggest that the best gift my daughter could make would be to give her child to a couple who wants children but cannot have them. Adoption is clearly the best situation, and will provide both the birth-mother and child the best opportunities for a long and enriching life.

Now, all of this "advice" pivots on an assumption that the father of the child agrees to relinquish all rights concerning his child. He has legitimate parental and legal rights and responsibilities concerning his offspring.

If you are the parent of this teen, I hope you will seek the advice of your own physician, clergy and adoption agency.

If you are the teen who finds herself pregnant, you have already decided to do one right thing in not killing your unborn child. I hope you will make the best decision for your future as well as that of your unborn child.

Take care of you, and your child!

Answer 10

Agreed. because of the fact the parent of grown infants, they are so kiniving in the event that they decide for to be, greater over while a parent works, single parent residing house, theres no one watching the save, and the save is open on the marketplace for the taking. I cant look ahead to that shot for adult men, boy childs, so as that much less gets pregnant, because of the fact, in recent times, its uncommon to discover morals in human beings, its uncommon to discover people who're to blame for thier very own strikes, or comprehend the action, reaction of intercourse. such countless come at right here and ask with regard to the delivery administration their on, their no longer even sufficiently previous to swallow a pill as quickly as an afternoon. Why are infants so stupid presently, specific, specific, specific they are stupid. have been given a variety of stupid infants in my kin, so i'm able to communicate.

Answer 11

well, i would incourage her to keep the baby. you help her out as a parent, but that is your own flesh and blood, and the baby deserves to have its own mommy. I think that she made a very big mistake, we all make them , some more than others, and sometimes, this may be the biggest one she has ever made, or the smallest, each person is different. you need to be by her side through the rough times. you should be proud that she is living up to her mistake, and is willing to take responsibility!