The other day my husband was playing his madden football game, i asked him if he wanted to lay with me, and watch tv(just hold each other and watch tv). He said "That depends what's on?", i was so hurt by that comment, i asked him why does that matter? He said if if I'm going to watch something that HE is not interested in then he would rather play his video game. I don't see any part of that being about me, just him being selfish and thinking only of himself.Guys any thought, and does it matter what is on tv for you to lay with your wife?
2006-08-27 07:39:28 · 28 answers · asked by dlmvm0612 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you were using the TV as ambiance ... try something else like candles and music. There is alot not to like about TV.
2006-08-27 08:04:15 · answer #1 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men and women are different. That's all. Don't take it personally, it's not you, nothing's changed there, I'm sure.
Men just act a little different after being with someone for a while. But, let's be honest, women do too. The two of you are testing your boundaries with each other right now. It's completely natural.
If I oversimplified it, I'd say he's trying to make you into one of the guys, and you're trying to make him into one of your girlfriends.
You've been together so long, you feel you should be friends, as well as husband and wife. Each of you has their own idea what a friend is to them, hence, the rift between you.
He needs to realize that he married a woman, and with that, comes feelings. He needs to make some time for you, through the course of the day, and some days you may require more time than other days.
You need to realize that you married a man, and sometimes sitting around the house in our underwear, scratching our balls and playing Madden Football is what we do. We're guys. Sometimes all we need is a few hours of recharging time, reclined on the couch, flipping through channels or playing a video game, drinking beer and belching, farting, picking some mystery substance from between our toes, carefully inspecting it, and then wiping it off on the carpet, and offering nothing more to the conversation than the off-handed grunt from time to time.
No, there's nothing wrong with you, or with him. There's also nothing wrong with your marriage. I'd say it's progressing quite nicely. you've just run into the same thing every other heterosexual couple runs into, once they've been together for long enough.
2006-08-27 08:55:51 · answer #2 · answered by hotmale.com 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest about what you were doing. You wanted your way, and wanted it when he was going about one of his interests.
What you did was unfair and in fact rude. Why is it he should stop everything just to cuddle with you while you watch crap like Oprah Winfrey? How about he shows up while you and the girls are getting your nails done and says, hey, let's toss down a few beers and watch a football game? What is your response, dear?
I've put up with the same crap your poor husband puts up with. My ex, and let me say thankfully my ex, would wait until something important to me was going on (whether guys' night out, a movie, a game, etc) and want to turn off the tv and cuddle.
Your feelings were hurt? GOOD! Grow up and learn that RESPECT involves TWO people!!!!!
You are selfish, immature, and RUDE!
2006-08-27 07:59:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh come on, its time to grow up a little here honey. Why don't you sit with him and watch him play? Do you want to feel obligated to watch things or do things you don't want to do or watch just because he wants you to? Things just don't work that way. You are the one that is being selfish and insecure. He was off work, home where he is supposed to be comfortable, relax and do what he enjoys! You are acting like a child here. Keep it up and he'll start going OUT to relax because you won't cut him a break! Read your question again, you sound like a teenager! How would you like it if you were in the middle of doing something you enjoy and he came in whining because you won't do absolutely nothing with him? You need to be happy that your husband stays home to relax.
2006-08-27 07:48:20 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, as much as you think he is being selfish, so are you. You are hurt because he will not drop whatever he is doing to do what you want to do, even if it's not what he wants to do. That is being selfish on your part.
You should have said "honey, I'm going to lay down and watch TV and I'd love it if you'd pause your game for awhile join me." Then, you'd be telling him what you'd like and giving him a way to do it. You gave him a "me or you" situation and he chose himself.
2006-08-27 07:46:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just curious,how often does he do this?Is this a constant event or did this happen once and made you mad.If he is usually interested in you and wasn't at this very moment I say let him play.On the other hand if this is a constant occurrence then it needs to be addressed.It sounds as if someone got their feelings hurt.Try to meet each other half way,watch some of his games and have him cuddle with you .
2006-08-27 08:06:58 · answer #6 · answered by Tom S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are some valid answers to this question.
It's true that he could've found a better way to respond, but he was doing something that interested him.
How often does he get to indulge in his hobbies? Often? Rarely? How often does he spend time with you? Often? Rarely?
How often does he do the things you like to do? Often? Rarely?
If he spends so much time with you, and doing the things you like to do, is he wrong to do something he likes? Is it wrong for him to honestly admit that he may not like the show you plan to watch? It's true that if he says yes to you, the show shouldn't matter because he's with you. However, if he doesn't like certain shows, AND you want him there, why not meet him halfway? Think about it: you want him with you, and the show may be in YOUR best interest. If he shows interest in something he likes, and you want something your way, give him some more incentive. Sure it'll be great to lay next to wifey, but he's sacrificing for you. Do you not want to give anything in return? I'm sure he won't expect it, but give him something. Turn it on ESPN. Maybe one day he'll watch one of your shows with you.
2006-08-29 11:13:43 · answer #7 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, this guy sounds like a selfish jerk. Actually this is pretty ridiculous some of the answers these guys are giving you.
Deny him sex. Let him know that its fifty fifty, give and take, and that if he cant attend to your needs you cant attend to his. And if he tries to initiate sex or cuddling, ignore him and watch tv.
That might teach him. With a guy like this, no matter what you say your words probably wont matter. And if you dont give him sex he will probably throw a hissy fit.
2006-08-27 08:30:39 · answer #8 · answered by Eternal Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Female here but it sounds like for "once" your husband did not have sex on the brain. He was probably having a good time playing his game and when you asked the question he was scared to death that you were going to watch Lifetime.
2006-08-27 08:02:32 · answer #9 · answered by Melm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-05 21:39:16 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋