he is always bitching and telling me how terrible i am and he treats my mom like ****..........she knows i hate him but wont do a nything to make him stop.........what should i do?
2006-08-27 07:37:33 · 21 answers · asked by cateylady2010 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
when i was younger (I'm 31 now) i hated this one guy that came into the family. he was rude and hateful and mean.
i told everyone i hated him. but, not a single damn person would listen to me. it was like they were blind to my feelings and to me.
i completely understand what you are saying. and having a talk with your mom isn't going to help...been there done that.
you have no choice but to stay away from him and leave as soon as you turn 18. in my state you can move out 6 months before your 18th birthday and theres nothing anyone can do. check on that with you state. honestly, the sooner you can get away from him the better off you will be.
until then, there's nothing you can do................AND I REALLY WISH THERE WAS SOME GOOD ADVICE I COULD GIVE TO YOU ABOUT YOUR STEP DAD. and im really sry there isn't.
good luck and try to stay happy.
2006-08-27 07:56:14 · answer #1 · answered by Who cares 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a step-dad and I am glad that my step-kids don't feel that way about me. Of course I never treated them badly either. I don't know how old you are, so I am going to treat this situation like you are under 18. I would recommend first that you ask your Mom and Step-Dad to sit down and discuss how you feel about the way you are being treated. Be calm, respectful and polite. No one wants to pay attention to someone that is shouting and being disrespectful. Do not make threats or say things like, "You Better", or "OR ELSE!" If your step-dad treats you and your mom badly you may have to take the lead in setting the tone for a discussion, as he may lack the maturity and mental faculties it takes to run a peaceful home.
I don't know where your biological father figures into your life but If after the discussion nothing changes it would be good to speak to your mother and father if he is still available and it is a good idea.
Fianlly if the bad treatment does not stop it might be a good idea to talk to a teacher at school, a counselor, or maybe the principal. They have concern for the kids in their care and have access to ways to help you.
Be patient too, I know this is not easy but it takes people time to change. If your step-dad has been like this with people for a long time it will not be easy for him to change.
I hope things go well for you and that he changes for the better.
Take care.....
2006-08-27 07:49:44 · answer #2 · answered by tek1017 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have an aunt or a grandmother (on your mothers side) or even your dad that can talk to your mom adult to adult? Anything you say will just give him more ammunition from his point of view but if your mother is allowing him to treat you this way she is absolutely wrong and can lose you if she doesn't get a grip on things. The fact that he allows him to treat her like crap too puts you in a really rough situation because she obviously doesn't have enough self respect to demand better for herself, I would hope a mother could muster some back bone to defend her child but unfortunately yours doesn't seem to be able to. Find an adult to talk to, tell them calmly what is happening, give precise examples of the things he does to both you and her, maybe they can either talk some sense in to her or get you out of there. If you don't have anyone like that in your family then talk to a guidance counsellor or teacher at school that you trust or call child services and talk to them.
2006-08-27 07:44:35 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that your mother is caught up n a bad situation and most likely feels anyway that she turns it will be wrong. Sometimes people avoid things that they are not sure how to deal with. Put yourself in your mothers place and ask yourself how much of the situation would you be willing to deal with how you might handle it. Think this through with a clear head laying all bad feelings aside and then try to come to a solution that all could deal with and then talk to your mother and see how you and your stepdad could at least be cordial to each other. Do not let this probelm make you a bitter person.
2006-08-27 07:58:02 · answer #4 · answered by mary c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First-How old are you? Is he going through a bad time, maybe lost a job? Is he drinking, drugs or physically abusive?
If it is ONLY verbal abuse, let your mom know EXACTLY what he is saying to you and have a family meeting, maybe in the living room and TALK about how you feel about this. Have mom aware that this is degrading and neither one of you should have to deal with it! He needs to know how he is insulting you and mom.
Be careful, and if necessary have another ADULT there, maybe a relative.
2006-08-27 07:47:24 · answer #5 · answered by petunia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my god it's the same for me i strongly dislike my stepdad he always AND I MEAN ALWAYS thinks he's right and he's so racists aganist white people and that gets annoying he tries to tell me what i can do in life he's been living with me my sis and mom for 5 yrs and i was so happy the day i graduated from hs i can finally leave that's how horrible he is and he's a drunk and smokes alot maybe you should talk to her and i know it won't work i know exactly how you feel nothing works you have to fend for yourself and thats hard when your young get out of the house more and your mom needs to not be blind for the mistakes she made by putting you in that situation
2006-08-27 07:43:02 · answer #6 · answered by USAF1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your mom want do anything than talk to an adult that you feel that you can trust. Do you have any relatives that you might can go to or stay with for awhile till your family gets on track? Good luck and hang in there
2006-08-27 07:43:20 · answer #7 · answered by smiley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first question is are you doing what he asks you to do? If you dont respect him and dont follow his/moms orders then there will always be turmoil. If I were you, I would get both of them together, tell them how you feel, and would like to know how we can make things better. Say "I am open to suggestions, because life is too short to live like this"
2006-08-27 07:46:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your mom has to grow some stones and walk away from this dude. He was probably a bad choice for your mom. But she has to make the move. You're pretty powerless at this point.
2006-08-27 07:41:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell to stepdad stop. Don't permission to his to treat like mum. That's terrible behaviour.
I hate too much
I hope to escape you from his treats
Good luck
2006-08-27 07:43:36 · answer #10 · answered by PhotoARTist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋