Why as a married woman do I need approval from other men?

Question

My husband loves me and treats me very well...we love each other have been married 30 years. Our sex life is great. I am just wondering why I like to chat and email with other men? Have been doing this a little over a year now and I love it. Have to be involved everyday. Guess I'm just making sure I'm not the only one who wonders if its ok...or am I totally nuts?

Answer 1

Happy, no your not nuts. I think a lot of us online junkies probably feel the same way. I like to chat with people in general and it is always nice to feel that others find you attractive, especially as we get older. I chat to some women as well and my wife and I have a fantastic relationship and I love her very much. Not sure if this helps, but I believe there are many like us on the net. You wanna chat.... JK :)
Take care!

Answer 2

Honestly, what you are doing is a form of adultery if your chats and emails border into a realm that is specially designed for you and your husband. And even if it is not, it tinkers with that fine line. A scripture that keeps me in line with everything that deals with fine lines is:

1 Cor. 10:13 "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

If you are beginning to question it, I have a feeling and belief deep down that you may be beginning to cross that line to an extent. You have put yourself for the past year in a situation to be tempted. If you are questioning it now, ask yourself...why am I asking others this? If I am so happy with my husband and our relationship, why am I seeking companionship (even on a diolgue-based level) from other men in particular?

Answer 3

I think the answer to your question started when most girls were pre-teens. In our society, women have been socialized to be the object of affection and love. They taught to feel their self worth is based on how much attention they can get from the males.

The most popular girls in high school are the ones that get the most attention from guys. It becomes a competition against females. So being raised this way....your ego and self worth becomes linked to attention from the opposite sex.

Now....just because your married, you still need that same validation. Sure you get it from your husband, but that's not enough.

But understand that men to a certain degree are the same way....who doesn't like to feel attractive? What you are doing is normal.....just don't let it get out of control.

That's my thoughts anyways.

Answer 4

Well Hon, depends on what the topic of conversation is about.Being friends with other men on line is different than having cyber sex or leading them to believe you have other interest in them other than friends.I think if you let them and your husband know up front about your relationship with them..Like computer vs. Husband..As long as you aren't sneaking around and doing something you shouldn't..and you are the only one who knows that..but being friends with other men and talking to them I don't think should be a problem..

Answer 5

Let's put it this way, do you hate being noticed by a man as good looking or do you feel good having men notice you?

OBVIOUSLY, it isn't so much approval of men you need, but it sure feels good.

Don't worry about it, just take that feeling of euphoria home to your husband, he will be greatful forever!

Answer 6

crazyinlove is right, u can't b confusing ur want of approval from other men as a need. the only approval that should matter is from ur husband, it's him seeing u @ night before bed & waking n the morning 2 u. morning breath & all

Answer 7

You may have low self esteem , or you are lacking in communication with your husband, y don't you talk to him more and email less, or do it with him, email him little things while he is work you can still play the game but it will be with your husband

Answer 8

Because, married or not, everyone (or almost everyone) can use a little reinforcement every now and then. By the way, I approve of your need for approval!!

Answer 9

because you're husband doesn't show his approval of you and you feel that you are doing a splendid job for him. Other men's approval is just a replacement for your husband's approval. You want to be validated that he is unappreciative.

Answer 10

You don't, unless your husband needs the approval of other men to puff up his ego because they tell him he has a hot wife, and if he does thats his problem NOT yours.