Okay so here's the thing...I work with my husbands friend...I love my job so quitting is out of the question... I set him up with a friend of mine from work and it didn't work out between them, she said he wasn't her type...whatever, any way since then he has come over to my husband and i's house a couple times since then..and just recently i had a dream that my husband and i got a divorce and his friend helped me through it...and it was one of those really real dreams, and i can't get it out of my head...he is a really great guy...and i love my husband but i just can't get this out of my head..and advice would be greatly appreciated...thank you
2006-08-27 06:31:32 · 23 answers · asked by Jen M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stifle your feelings. You can ruin not only your relationship with your husband, but wreck a friendship. I don't think you want to do either, or you wouldn't have asked for help here. The dream means nothing unless you put significance to it.
2006-08-27 06:39:33 · answer #1 · answered by eyeque195 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the advice here is easier to be said than to be done. i know this. it is not simple to leave what u love. the magnet force that attracts u towards him is much grater than the force in the other direction.
but there r some hard facts u should accept. repeatedly tell that to ur heart/mind. the moment u deal with this guy both of u (u and the guy) r going to commit a sin/mischief and start to hide from ur husband/friend
this guy in the future could not believe u because he always put himself in place of ur husband. u too could not believe him because u always remember what u both do.
most probably u will love each other just for few years or so. above all the whole years u live with this guy, be it in love or not, u always accuse ur self for u have deceived ur husband. ... very hard, yes not simple as it is said
plz decide not to continue ur r/p with this guy. if so u will get a way out as how to depart from him; like arranging other work place or some other solution that u could decide based on the condition ther. and if u r at a distant ur love/worry fade tru time.
good luck
2006-08-27 06:58:07 · answer #2 · answered by Mesfin Y 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A dream is just that ..... A DREAM!! So you're gonna destroy what you & your husband have built over a dream? Guess those wedding vows didn't mean much to you?? Woman...go home and love your husband with all that is within you, even if he's a jerk. He's your husband. This other guy just looks good from the other side of the fence. Suppose you leave your husband for him and find out that its doesn't work out (like your friend did) then what???
2006-08-27 06:36:41 · answer #3 · answered by LoneWolf 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1 Cor. 10:13 "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
I know someone whom with thier first wife fell into this very same trap you possibly can. The scenario was the exact same set up. And one day, he fell into adultery...he and she. They were both married to other people, but both friends. Well both of them were not happy within thier marriages for thier own reasons, and they found comfort with eachother. It lead to a destruction of thier friendships all the way around...and one marriage was lost over it.
It comes down to this, you need to ask yourself how much you love your husband. If you love him and trust him, talk with him about this before it gets out of hand. Communicate. He might get angry, but at least you can work through the challenge together instead of you acting on your feelings for his friend and then later on having to try and communicate then. He will be more open to talk with you now than later if you commit the act of adultery.
Also remember the commandment in the Lord's Word:
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Period, it is not to happen. Marriage is a sacred unit. If you believe in it, communicate with your husband. This will show him you trust him and believe in your marriage with him. Adultery only shows deceit, dishonesty, and no trust at all, and absolutely no belief in the marriage relationship.
2006-08-27 09:14:38 · answer #4 · answered by Bible Trekker 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Grow up, honestly, I know that might sound mean but its really all there is to it. Grown ups are in control of their actions and are able to predict the consequences of those actions and they act in responsible ways. What you are talking about here is teenager stuff. You also can't say i love my husband BUT, there is no BUT to that, when you say BUT it means forget what I just said because now I'm going to tell the truth. Yes you CAN get this guy out of your head, your problem is you are enjoying it so you WON'T get this guy out of your head. People don't do things that they don't get a pay off from and we aren't helpless slaves to these things.
2006-08-27 06:59:25 · answer #5 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Which do you love the most your husband or your job? If you place any value upon your marriage you will stop this now. When you think of your husband's friend immediately replace that thought with one of your husband. Make your husband the object of your thoughts and do really thoughtful things for him.
Should you continue with what you are doing you will be divorced and you may lose the friend as well.
2006-08-27 06:38:26 · answer #6 · answered by papricka w 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am in a very similar situation and I have to say it is definitely very confusing. One minute you are sitting there thinking about your husband when all of a sudden he is in your thoughts and you can't get him out. If you haven't acted on the feelings for the friend then don't. Try to reverse the feelings towards your husband. Don't jeopardize your marriage and their friendship. Keep it just friends between the two of you.
2006-08-27 06:59:48 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Dee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just because you dreamt that doesnt mean its inevitable. By your dream it hink you just think that he might be a threat to your house or you see him as a good friend. In alot of marriages, the couple aren't friends but love each other just as much. Dreams are just composites of differnet little idea's you had or images you saw. Just because you had this dream doesnt mean you're in love with him. I suggest not making any quick decisions. Stay with your husband. true love is hard to find. Figure out where you really stand with this friend person.
2006-08-27 06:37:42 · answer #8 · answered by andthatshypocricy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know what you mean about dreams. They can seem real but, they're not. If you love your husband consider yourself lucky and try to put this other guy out of your mind. Avoid him as much as possible too. It was only a dream - very different from reality.
2006-08-27 06:47:16 · answer #9 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Believe it or not what you dream is not what it means. If you love your husband why then are you thinking of his friend. You need to get yourself in check. Spend the time that you think about the friend on what you want to do with your husband.
2006-08-27 06:41:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋