my brother is stealing from me!!?

Question

My brother has been stealing things from me recently & has been emotionally abusive towards me & our mum. Who can I contact for advice. Im scared to go to the police because he has threatened violence & said he will smash everything we own or sell it all. We are living in fear, although my mum wont do anything about it cos she just wants a peaceful life. She has asked him to leave & tried throwing him out but he said he will burn the house down & refuses to leave. Need advice!!!!

He is 21. Could be drug related or that he is depressed. Tried talking but he shuts us out. Wont go for councilling.

Answer 1

you have to call the police now and they will help you

Answer 2

Your brother is dangerously out of control and I would suspect an expensive drug habit could be the root of the problem. You don't say what he is stealing or how often - or if he is stealing from other members of your family.

The police WILL view this as domestic violence - you cannot live in fear of him and nor can your mother.

You don't say how old you are or if your brother has been in trouble with the police.

There are obviously a number of offences here - the domestic abuse - physical or mental; The threats to burn the house down - ARSON; Theft. These are very serious offences and the only people that can help you are a) your brother by recognising his problem and getting help; b) the police by arresting him, charging him and taking him to court - but you will need to provide full details and statements. I appreciate that this will be incredibly frightening and distressing for you. And even if your brother is given conditions by the police or the courts not to come to your home, obviously this might not prevent him.

If the police believe you to be seriously at risk, they can install a panic alarm for you at your home - linked directly to the police control room - so that police officers can respond immediately if you are under threat.

Without knowing more details, it is impossible to know what evidence you have and how the police would deal with/investigate the matter.

You really need to talk to someone. Contact your local police as a matter of urgency and ask for a CONFIDENTIAL meeting with someone in their domestic violence unit. They will be far better placed to advise you.

PLEASE, PLEASE, if you are scared, GET HELP!

If possible, it would be good to know whereabouts in the country you are - and the outcome of any assistance you seek.

Let us know if possible.

Answer 3

Thats an awful situation. It sounds like hes either on drugs/drink or going through a bad growing up phase. Your mum needs to tell the police to have a little talk to him at your house.Your brothers all talk about his threats if you stand up to him.,believe me ive seen exactly this situation and the only thing theyll pay attention and sit quietly to listen to is the police!! They dont need to come out when hes having a tantrum or stealing but they can come out if you explain the situation, and theyll have a talk. Your brother needs to LEARN that you or your mother wont tolerate his behaviour and youre not afraid to tell the police about him. Good luck, do NOT be scared to tell the police, they have more sense than a young boy.

Answer 4

You didn't say how old your brother is. If he's over 18 you and your Mom need to contact the police. REALLY! Mom needs to have the Police get him out. Change the locks. If he does any of the things he has said he would do,have him thrown in jail. Maybe he can get some help to get off drugs or what ever he's on.

Answer 5

well you could move out yourself but i think it would be stupid to leave just because of an violant brother from what you have said above it could seem highly likely he could have a drug or alcahol problem usually stealing from ones own family is a very obvios sign try talking to him as im not in your situation though anything i say will probaply sound patronising or stupid as im sure youve tried everything im saying already you could call childline for info and support or go to the social welfare and ask for info you could get a restraining order or have him put in jail or juvy but all in all the MOST important thing is yours and your mothers safety i hope you read this before your computer gets stolen

Answer 6

move house, change the locks - I went through exactly a very similar things with having things smashed up - while hes out change the locks or get the council to do it, dead easy to do,failing that call out a locksmith, make sure you keep all the windows and door locked at all times, give him tha address of your local housing office and theyll instruct him to go to homless welfare, and theyll get him a bed for the night/foreseeable future - if he smashes things up - charge him and dont drop the charges, if he breaks a window or threatend to - call the police dial 999 as its happening, tell them youre not willing to have him living in your house anymore and theyll take him away, hes being very controlling and manipulative, in court theyll make him comensate you financially for the things hes broken, if your council tennants go and talk to your housing officer and tell him/her you want him out and he wont leave - they may sort it out. Be brave and stand firm, you could put a yale lock or rim lock on your bedroom door and move your valuales there keep the key in a safe place, if he breaks in or tampers with it - call the police, im serious this is your ONLY way out. Help yourself - do it today, have you not got some blokes int he family/neighbours who can move his gear out and be there for when he comes back and tries to create havoc - and he will - let him get on with it, get your preparations in place, then call the police as he kicks off

Answer 7

Go to the police, or phone the National Domestic Violence Hotline [phone], or Childline 0800 1111. This needs to be dealt with NOW, and as the adult your mum should be doing everything in her power to protect you. If she doesnt, get yourself out and put yourself in the hands of someone who will protect you.

Is this your Mum's idea of a peaceful life, living in fear? It certainly isn't mine.

Answer 8

he's on drugs most likely and you don't have to put up with the violence or the threats. Call the police and get him arrested. It's better for your Mom and your safety and protection. Also get your Mom to sign a peace bond against him to prevent him showing up and wrecking the house.

Answer 9

You may want to talk to him, but he may get mad. You should talk to other siblings and your mother. Or, before he hurts anybody, call domestic hotline, or call police. What othe options are there? I think you should call the police if he has threatened to burn the house down. WOW. You mom sounds passive and could be enabling him. He may not really act on his threats, but one never knows.

Answer 10

Give him drink, wait till he gos to sleep then hit him with a large concrete block.

The police wont ask many questions because even they will be able to see the b*stard deserved it.

Say he fell down stairs.

Answer 11

Before you can do anything, you have to get your mother to agree to do something about this. You have to call the police to get him out of there. You have to wait til he go into one of his rages and call them so it is justified and then you let them know that you and your mother are afraid of him and all of the other things he has said that he will do. you have to get this on record so if anything happens, they will know who to look for or have a suspicious about what happen. you can not just allow this behavior to go on. this is not the way to live. he may be on drugs or something.