A friend of mine just married her abusive boyfriend. She had the nerve to call the office (we work together) and ask if anyone was going to do anything for her, maybe we could donate some money so they could stay in a hotel that night. 3 out of 8 said no, me included. 4 or 5 times in the past 10 months, he has beat her up. The last time she had him arrested, issued a restraining order and he spent 2 months in jail. When he was released, she asked the judge to drop the charges and the restraining order, the judge said no. It's her business, what she decides to do with the guy, but how can she be pissed that 3 of us don't want to give money for this "blessed union"? She said we just don't give a sh** about anyone but ourselves, in fact, it's probably the opposite. I don't feel like I'm wrong to not give. I didn't go to the wedding either, I just can't pretend to like the guy and be happy for her.
2006-08-27 04:30:08 · 6 answers · asked by msuzyq 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
tell her that you don't give a rat's a.s.s. for this relationship, as she is knowingly making her life hell. tell her you are concerned, but if she insists on being in a relationship with a guy who obviously needs to be behind bars forever, then you certainly cannot help. and don't feel bad about not helping her. she is blackmailing you emotionally as well, when she knows you do not approve of this "blessed union of assouls!"
2006-08-27 04:38:21 · answer #1 · answered by Gaymes Last Orchestra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is an expert at making bad decisions for her life. She probably realizes that she needs to break up with him, but her love for him makes her believe she can still work things out. The fact that she gets beaten up regularly and doesn't have a plan or money for a hotel room shows a lack of responsibility as well. If you were to give her money it would be supporting her decisions.
Okay, time for a heart-to-heart discusion.
- Tell her you do care about her and you do want to help.
- Tell her you can't support a continuation of the curent situation.
- She needs to get a divorce and never see this abusive guy again... period.
- She is better off living alone that living with an abusive husband.
- If she doesn't things will get worse...
- What is she waiting for? She might not survive a next time.
- You don't want to come visit her in the hospital, but if need be you will.
Sorry, I'm sure you've heard all this before. But this is a very serious situation.
2006-08-27 11:52:15 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are NOT wrong about this. It is YOUR money, not hers. You don't have to give any money away from somebody else if you don't want to. Your friend is the one who is in the wrong. It sounds like to me that she is just upset at her abusive husband (why would anyone even marry an abusive person? DUMB idea!) and is taking it out on you. You don't need that, you have a life of your own and she has no right to say those rude things like that. But, you know what? I wouldn't have gone to the wedding either if I was in the same position.
2006-08-27 12:19:04 · answer #3 · answered by *~*RaChAel*~* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're friend suffers from very low self esteem. She's the same type of women who will stay in a mariage when its hoplelessly lost. No you're not wrong. She needs alot of help.
2006-08-27 11:40:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was actually in a abusive relationship but I got out of it. Friends actually got me out of the abuse. If she wants to stay in that perdictament then she's nuts. I'm glad I'm out.
2006-08-27 11:36:23 · answer #5 · answered by Christy H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are so very right but please be carefull of what you decide to do with your friend, right now you may feel that you don't want to know her any more but she is blinded by emotions, if you have the strength stay close to her she might need you and maybe after all these if something happens again she 'll understand you are right.
2006-08-27 11:41:33 · answer #6 · answered by NikGeo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋