Can a 2 week old be too dependent on being held?

Question

Just wondering what to do when your two week old baby, won't sleep in his bassinet....only likes sleeping in the same bed as you and when you try to put him down when he's asleep he freaks out...is it too early to try and let him cry it out?? PLEASE HELP!

Answer 1

Don't worry, you can't spoil a 2 week old by holding him and co-sleeping. I have 5 children and have co-slept with all of them. They all transitioned easily to their own beds when they were ready. There are ways to co-sleep safely. More information about that can be found here:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

I found co-sleeping to be a life saver because I got so much more sleep!

A book you might want to look into is The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly. It is very balanced and gentle and there is plenty of room to adapt it to your own personal needs and preferences. You can read more about it here:

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/content/sleepbooksummary.htm

A way to balance your baby's need for comfort and attention with your own needs during the day is to get a sling, wrap, pouch or Asian style baby carrier. I don't recommend any type of front pack carrier like a Bjorn or Snugli.

You can get more information on both co-sleeping and babywearing with a group like Attachment Parenting International. They have local Yahoo! Groups and in-person meetings all over the world. Maybe there is one near you. It is nice to at least have other parents to talk to.

Remember that 2 weeks is still so young and a big transition from pregnancy is still taking place for both of you. Make sure you are getting plenty of rest- nap when your baby naps. It may all seem overwhelming now, but before you know it you will be trying to figure out how to *keep* your child close. Believe me, my oldest is getting ready for college soon and my youngest is learning to walk...right away from me.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I had a baby just like that. She'd fall asleep when I fed her, but as soon as I tried getting her into the bassinet, those big eyes would be wide open, staring at me. You can't spoil a child at two weeks old, no matter what anyone tells you. A child that young shouldn't be allowed to "cry it out". He needs to feel loved and protected by you, not alone and scared. Unfortunately, my daughter didn't grow out of the need to sleep in my arms until she was about 3 months old. That said, maybe your little guy needs to be swaddled in a warm blanket. Some children are very sensitive to the environment, and even the slightest chill can upset them. Remember, two weeks ago he was in a nice warm womb.

Good luck! If nothing works, try to find someone else to hold him while you get some shut eye. A somewhat rested body helps everyone cope better.

Answer 3

No the baby is not too dependent on you right now the baby is used to the body heat that you give them. I have three kids no of them slept in a bassinet they all slept with me for the security. At six weeks old I went back to work so during the day they got used to not being under me all the time. But as far as holding your baby hold on while you can eventually they get older and don't want to be held anymore.

Answer 4

Of course a 2 week old wants to be with you! For the past 9 months the child has tasted/felt/smelled/heard/seen you all around him every single second! And suddenly you are GONE sometimes! And he doesn't know you still exhist when he can't see/hear/smell/touch/taste you! It's a survival instinct and it's FINE!

He is NOT getting spoiled and there is no such thing as "too dependent" when it comes to an infant. An infant is SUPPOSED to be TOTALLY dependent on you. After all, what does he know how to do for himself?????? NOTHING! He NEEDS you.

When he crys, it is because he is trying to communicate. It's the only way he knows how. He is NOT being manipulative and you are NOT doing anything wrong by sleeping with him. Just make sure you are following safe cosleeping guidelines (see link below).

DO NOT LET HIM CRY IT OUT!!!!! Even the experts who do advocate crying out DO NOT suggest doing it prior to 6 months of age.

Answer 5

Please don't listen to the first answer. Babies need to feel loved and secure in order to be secure. A two week old baby can not become dependent on you, they are dependent on you. He is just telling you that he needs you right now, so be there for him. Babies that have parents that respond right away actually become more secure in their parents love therefore becoming more independent. The concept of crying it out doesn't actually mean that either. If you choose to use this technique, it means making sure that they aren't hungry and are dry. Put them to bed awake, and go back every 5 min if they are crying. Put your hand on their back to reassure them, but don't talk. Then leave the room and go back in another 5 min. Never just leave your baby to cry itself to sleep. This technique shouldn't be used in the first 3 months though. They need you and crying is their only way of expressing their needs.

Answer 6

A 2 week-old baby should not be left to cry it out! In fact, there is nothing wrong with co-sleeping as long as the baby is sleeping beside his or her mother and safe co-sleeping rules are applied.

In fact, it is much easier to be beside the baby all the time since a 2 week-old should be waking every three or four hours to feed and mothers still need rest.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD A TWO WEEK OLD SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT. THEY NEED TO EAT AT NIGHT.

Read the "No Cry Sleep Solution" to help your baby learn how to sleep in a gentle way when he or she is about 8 to 12 weeks old.

Remember, you are just learning how to be a mother and it is important to trust yourself and your instincts. If your instincts tell you to bring the baby to bed with you, do it.

Answer 7

Actually, you can't spoil a baby by holding him until after 6 months, at least that's what I've read and have been told.. So when my kids (I have 3) were newborns, yes,..I would hold them.

Try a little white noise like maybe a humming humidifier, or soft music. Sometimes that will help the kiddos calm down. Also check with the pediatrician and make sure he/she isn't colicky.

Hang in there. It's only short time.

Answer 8

I'm a mother of 6, my oldest being 27 and my twins being 7, but it's my opinion, (nothing professional), to hold them every time they want to be held, and start weaning them off of that between the ages of one and two.

Your baby is use to being inside you and hearing your heart beat. There is a hammock kinda of thing that you can buy for the crib that the baby sleeps in that has a heart beating little box that fits on it that the baby can feel the gentle vibration. I know they had them out when I had the twins 7 years ago. Try looking for something that will help simulate your heart beat for your baby, it's the music that the baby is use to hearing and feeling. Good Luck!

Answer 9

You can't spoil a 2 week old. He probably feels very secure when he is with you, remember he was in your body for 9 months and is use to your heartbeat, your voice, breathing and such. Don't let him cry it out, he just needs to feel secure. Do you swaddle him before laying him down? A baby needs something if they are crying when they are only 2 weeks old. In this case just sounds like to be held, comforted and secure.

Answer 10

No. A 2 week old can't be too dependant on being held. He wants to be with you.

When trying to put him down use slow careful movements. Letting them cry it out isn't recommended until they are 6 months old.