hi to all ! this is a small little poem/song which i wrote. I was thinking of NO ONE. Honestly. Plz kindly fill in ur modificationz to make it more romantic !
Roses are Red,
Violetz are Blue,
How do i express, the love i have for YOU,
I've waited and waited for LONG,
TO get your love, now i write this SONG,
The world is against us, so is the TIME,
But no matter what, you'll always be MINE,
I'll wait, I'll run iam so ready to DIE,
I love you so much, it almost feels like a LIE,
And i swear iam with YOU,
Forever be TRUE,
Darling, iam in love,
In love only with YOU !!!
BTW..iam a guy.
and ya...iam 17...and i wrote this for the future..as in.. i dont have a GF..so,one day when i meet "her"..i can use this to melt things up....so, i want it to BE the PERFECT thing shez ever heard...so plz plz help out!
CHEERZ !!
2006-08-27 04:05:58 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i must say my froend you have some raw talent umm abit of advice abou the begining the roses are red violets are blue that needs to go think of something original everyone uses that use somrthing like THE STARS IN THE SKY NIGHT
REMIND ME OF YOU, HOW DO I EXPRESS
THE LOVE IM GONNA GIVE TO YOU
IVE WAITED AND WAITED FOR SO LONG
TO GET YOUR LOVE,NOW IM WRITING THIS
SONG,THE WORLD IS AGAINST US AND SO
IS THE TIME BUT NO MATTER WHAT THEY
SAY I KNOW YOU'LL BE MINE,I'll wait, I'll run iam so ready to DIE, love you so much, it feels like a LIE,And i swear iam with YOU,
Forever be TRUE,
Darling, iam in love,
In love WITH ONLY YOU
2006-08-27 04:16:30 · answer #1 · answered by liam_jones_10_10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, guy! How about this corrected version of your wonderful poem.Wish you find one deserving this heart behind,.
-------------------------
Roses and Violets show their color,
how can I express my love to YOU!
I've waited and waited for LONG.
Now I write this SONG,
the world is against us, so is TIME.
But no matter what, you' are MINE,
for you I'll wait, run, jump and DIE.
I loved you so much, it almost feels like a LIE,
and I swear I am with YOU.
Forever, TRUE,
Darling, I am in love,
in love and only with YOU!!!
2006-08-28 03:20:57 · answer #2 · answered by seshu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about-"I've waited and waited, so long for your love. Now that your here, it feels like heaven above." That way has more flow to it!! Hope you don't mind the little editing! I'm a guy who has also written a few!! Also, drop the "ready to die" part. along with the "roses" part.
2006-08-27 11:13:48 · answer #3 · answered by maerivsa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
change the fourth line to'ive waited and waited for far too long' it makes it sound more romantic.
i also think you should change the 10th line to 'i swear i am forever with you.'
make it 'DARLING I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU'
mind you, these are only suggestions on how to make it more romantic.
2006-08-27 11:15:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a girl i think this is very romantic nd anyone that wrote me a poem i would be FLATTERED!
Well Done x
2006-08-27 11:18:09 · answer #5 · answered by Molly-Huu-Huu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Roses are Red,
Violetz are Blue, ---don't use these lines.. they suck!
don't make your poem too dreamy..
if you're not sure if you could do all that's written in your poem.. DONT WRITE IT!
take care..
2006-08-27 11:16:02 · answer #6 · answered by hualabakanube 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to whatever you did beore you found the internet, noob. No one wants to read your garbage typing.
2006-08-27 11:08:06 · answer #7 · answered by The All-Knowing Sam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the is between us and so is time
2006-08-27 11:10:23 · answer #8 · answered by buffywalnuts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You win!
2006-08-27 11:07:19 · answer #9 · answered by Jerdy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if i was your gf i would be eat by now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how can you be alone?
2006-08-27 11:15:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋