Me and my boyfriend has been dating on and off since 9th grade year 2000. We have a son together since year 05. I moved to the west coast and he lives on the east I visit him every 7 months but it seem during those 7 months he cheats on me. He has cheated on me twice and lied about it until he got caught. we are engaged to get married in three months. I love him with all my heart he was my first everything should I give him another chance or leave him?
2006-08-27 04:02:30 · 30 answers · asked by onesexyg18 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
leave him.. seriously he isnt ready to settle down... guys who cheat will always cheat and you have allowed him to cheat so basically he knows that you will always accept his cheating..
I was with a cheater myself.. and left
I have seen ALOT of cheaters too... and NOT ONE CHANGED
I am 43 years old.. and my advice to you is to leave him, you have many years ahead of you and WILL find a decent man at some point, in the mean time cut your loses.. you are worth more than that.. if you stay with him you will lose any self respect you have and your self esteme will go down daily until you will not have the power to leave him
so leave him NOW
2006-08-27 04:08:33 · answer #1 · answered by CF_ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Warning: This is totally not a drill! Get the hell out. The man is clearly not marriage material. I mean I know folks have some issues in relationships, but to be off and on so much like that is not good at all. And with ya'll living that far apart, I'm not in the least surprised he didn't cheat every day. He may be your first everything but you guy's have a kid now, and its quite obvious the man wants to be free to be with other women, if hes cheated that much and the relationship never stayed solid much. So I just say arrange times and days he can pick up your son and visit with him. Because if ya'll got married and he was creeping out on you during the marriage that would hurt you and your son so much deeper.
2006-08-27 04:11:59 · answer #2 · answered by Bloody Kisses 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only marry him if you want to marry a cheat. Just keep in mind that you are doing this of your own free will. Just because you have a child with him, have been with him for a long time, and he was your first, does not mean that you have to continue a relationship with him. If you think that marriage will change him, think again. He will be more comfortable with being himself which seems to be a dishonest and disrespectful cheater. He won't respect you because you have already shown him that you don't demand respect. Your son will look at the relationship that you have with his father and may more likely than not treat women the same. He can still have a relationship with your child without being married to you. If you caught him cheating twice, he's cheated more than that...those are just the times he got caught. Marriage is hard work for committed couples and it is basically impossible to sustain for couples in which one or both parties are not committed. Make your decision with your eyes wide open and be prepared for the consequences that come with that decision. Good or bad. FYI, just because he was your first doesn't mean that he has to be your last. You do deserve to be loved, honored, respected and appreciated.
2006-08-27 04:22:45 · answer #3 · answered by intentionalmasterpiece 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems its unanimous...but the decision is on you. You dont need to hear you should leave him, YOU- know u should... and you would've already, so my guess, you'll be hanging on. No one here, there, can make you leave him, (i know, you were hoping)- if only it were that e-z~ get in a line... I'd be first, in the Dont want to love him anymore line- Wish i never met him line- Hate him line- Hurt him as much as he hurt me line...ect... Yes, Im in pretty much the X-act stituation...Been w/ my b/f since 2000 and has cheated pretty much the entire time. - He also lied - swore up and down he wasnt- "put it on" every family members, life, grave...future births....pets...i could provide pics n still..."its not me..." So I know how u feel, n sympathize.You have a child 2gether, so your decision affects 3, not 2- Let me just say, it wasnt twice, or maybe it was...but a mans definition of twice... two different girls, doesnt matter many times and yrs it went on, ONLY 2 girls- Again, U KNOW-- that gut feeling. I felt it- and each time, i was right. My gut is bout gutted out...we're in double digits! Yet im still with him. Im not sure exactly where you're at w/ how you feel bout you; but CFs response is right on. I hate myself -what i've become. I my self esteem is 0- not a day goes by i dont cry- remembering things hes done, n they hurt as much now...forgive n forget.? Forget-NEVER!! Its unrealistic! Take a miracle. Forgive? sounds good...but the forget part is housing it inside you. It'll eat at you, over n over...till u get where i am, yes i love him, have NEVER turned my back on him- right or wrong- by his side. Oh, FAITHFULL. But i can honestly say, not bat an eye, Dont even have to think bout it....I HATE HIM!!! pls, think... your son deserves a happy mom.... lifes too short. yea, back at me...Good Luck
2006-08-27 07:22:16 · answer #4 · answered by SoBay5150 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you love him, but if your looking to stay with him for the child's sake don't do it. They have a tendency not to change once your married. If he cheats when you are away he will do it when your home with him.Take a long hard look before making your best choice, you will find the right answer to your own question! Marring him and then leaving would be even harder then letting him go now. Live your life for you and your child not for a man that cheats!!
2006-08-27 04:29:08 · answer #5 · answered by kellie k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i no u love him but i was once told that its hard to brake up but once a cheater always a cheater dont marry him find someone that u will treat you right and not cheat and lie to u. he isnt worth marring cuz he will do it again and sooner or later u guy s will get a devorce and it will hurt even more then it would now, im sry but its just to hard to trust a guy that cheated and lied. but look in u r heart and wat does it say... stay with him or leave him, watever it says listen to it and good luck with all u r problem and if u need anything just e mail me at hot_blonde_gurl24@yahoo.com i hope u make the right decition.
2006-08-27 07:30:58 · answer #6 · answered by Destiny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has wasted his second chance when he cheated on you the second time. Just because you have a kid together is no reason to feel obligated to marry him. Continue to start a new life for you and your kid on the west coast.
2006-08-27 04:08:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no do not give him another chance dont be foolish
he cheated on u more than once that means he cannot respect u and be faithful he is not inlove
so please do not get married and dump him
u need to find friends or hang out with ur friends and family and start taking care of u and ur child forget him u will eventually find someone better who will treat u good and make u happy
2006-08-27 04:24:02 · answer #8 · answered by Cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should kick him to the curb. once a dog always a dog. You had to catch him cheating in order for him to tell you. he will prolly say he loves and and it wont happen again but the truth is it wont happen again till hes caught. 7 months is a long time to not have sex but thats why they invented phone sex or even having sex on cam.
2006-08-27 04:22:25 · answer #9 · answered by mattnv29 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm... i want to help u i really do but its hard because i know when u love someone u dont want to leave them but listen u tell him if he loves u and wants to marry u why does he have to go and have sex with another girl and if he says it dont mean anything dont take that because if he loved u and really sis he would not have to have sex with other girls he could wait on u so u tell him 1 more chance but if u hear of any more cheating it is over and i wish u the best of luck
2006-08-27 04:10:45 · answer #10 · answered by kimberly_owens92 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋