My wife is soo frigid when it comes to sex, she would rather just be on the internet from the minute she wakes up to the minute she goes to sleep (16 hours a day)
How can I get her to notice me more and do things together like normal people do?
2006-08-27 03:42:36 · 26 answers · asked by Homer Baby 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I can totally empathise with you, Your wife & my husband would make a great couple as he too doesnt seem to notice me much. I am sex starved too! Throw the pc out the window or tell her its the computer or you & if she picks the computer then she isnt worth the bother.
2006-08-27 03:46:59 · answer #1 · answered by wordykat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There could be number of reasons why she is ignoring you & putting the internet first.
Mainly, though, she actually sounds like she's depressed. New studies show that many ppl these days are using the internet as a way to cope w/depression, like the way some ppl will use food or alcohol. Regardless of what she's using the net for- porn, chatting w/others, etc. The fact remains that she has an addiction of sorts to it & is using it as an escape. Again, this really sounds like she has some major depression going on.
Try to talk to her to see what's going on.
Be gentle, earnest, considerate & more than any thing above else, be willing to have an open mind & LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN!
Also, don't be afraid to open up to her & share your feelings, I know, a hard thing for guys to do. But remember, you marriage is on the line. Sexual dysfunction (ie: lack of sex) is the 3rd leading cause of divorce. Let her know how what's been going on has affected you- she may not be aware of how much of what she's doing is affecting you.
If you are unable to get her to open up & talk to you, then suggest to her marriage counseling. Marriage counseling is not the end of the world. I've seen it do wonders, miracles in some cases LOL.
In any case, it sounds like that you both already need marriage counseling. I honestly think that it's worth a try & could help you. A marriage counselor can also help identify what's going on w/your wife, especially if it's depression & I really think that's what's wrong w/her. (I know of a similar case where one spouse was ignoring & neglecting the other by practically living on the net. And depression was the main reason.)
If your wife refuses to hear you out on any of your concerns, do not argue with her because it'll get you no where & only leave you feeling hurt & bitter. Just simply get up, tell her, "Okay, I see. I'm sorry that you feel this way, but I can't keep living this way. I love you & want things to work, but I guess you don't." I know it sounds a little manipulative, but actually, it isn't. It's a "wake up" statement that forces her to stop & see the weight of her actions & perhaps realize that she needs to get some help & change.
If anything else, start seeing a marriage counselor w/o her. They usually can help you figure out how to break through to her & if anything else, figure out when to call it quits.
The best of luck to you!
2006-08-27 04:02:29 · answer #2 · answered by Wild Rose 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shes proabbly having cyber sex with some guy whos paying her attention. If you cant temp her off the computer in 16 hours you got a serious problem
2006-08-27 03:51:09 · answer #3 · answered by Lone Wolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... I'm sure you don't feel too great feeling like your wife loves the internet more than you :( Have you tried talking to her about your concerns or what she is doing? How it makes you feel? How about approaching her with an "I am concerned, I love you, ".... don't approach her with the typical, "you always this... you always that..." it will put her on the defensive immediately. Has she ALWAYS been this way or did something seem to change suddenly?
2006-08-27 03:47:05 · answer #4 · answered by Amy E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try spending time with your wife getting to know her likes and dislikes sexually, if you don't hit the right buttons to arouse her then she will come across as frigid.
2006-08-27 04:33:09 · answer #5 · answered by Candy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds as if she is using the internet to inject something into her life as her own life may seem very humdrum...you need to get her out...go visit places together...make a gesture..talk to her? tried that? revitalise your relationship or she will end up running off with someone shes met thru the net...nah I hear you say but I have seen it happen and not just once...get lives back together before its too late
2006-08-27 03:48:43 · answer #6 · answered by Saskia M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and tell her how you feel. Find out what's wrong. Try getting her off the computer and getting out of the house and doing something together as a couple.
2006-08-27 03:45:54 · answer #7 · answered by TB 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, unplug that computer. Then sit down with her and talk to her about it. She's letting her addiction to the internet affect every part of her life, and you need to tell her that. If need be, stop subscribing to the internet, if that will help her addiction. It will definetly give her other things to do like pay more attention to you.
2006-08-27 03:52:07 · answer #8 · answered by Live4theWeekend 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to her and find out what she is angry with you about...is the #1 reason a woman is fridig towards her man...she is mad at him.
Until you communicate and get beyond that nothing else will work. Find out, apologize, even if you don't mean it, and vow to not do or do whatever it is she wants you to in the future.
2006-08-27 03:47:51 · answer #9 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your nickname is an apt description of you,maybe you should try & loose some weight,if you a fat she'll have no trouble noticing you,she just may not like what she sees.lol
2006-08-27 06:04:30 · answer #10 · answered by michael k 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋