hi, my fiancee is not pulling his weight and i am super stressed about doing everything myself. Also, I don't have a driver's licence and need it to go looking for places, which means, i would need him to drive, but he places Everything (friend's barbecues, work....) before finding the place! i feel completely unheard and frustrated. i feel like calling the whole thing off! what should i do! really do love him, he's just so lazy and uniterested about the whole thing!
2006-08-27 02:52:23 · 11 answers · asked by ingrid 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you just got a glimpse into married life with your finance. If you feel he is lazy, then you really need to consider if you're willing to pull your weight AND his weight for the rest of your life.
2006-08-27 02:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by Fall Down Laughing 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's just a typical man. None of them really want to be involved in planning a wedding. A lot of wedding planning can be done over the internet. The only thing you really should not do on the internet is buy your dress (you need to try it on, alter it, etc), and choose the church. If you are a member of a church, they should marry you for free. If you are not, be prepared to spend around $1000 on a church. Everything else can be done from the comfort of your home. Don't stress out, it all comes together.
Do you have a friend or family member that can drive you? That could fix the problem with your fiance.
2006-08-27 09:59:48 · answer #2 · answered by Michele H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to suggest that it really isn’t anything unusual for men to not get too involved with the Wedding Plans. I know I wasn’t as helpful as I could have been with organising our Wedding. It wasn’t that I didn’t care or anything. I wanted my partner to have the best Wedding that we could afford, but there were a lot of things that I didn’t concern myself about, like Table Seating and such.
What you are saying though isn’t quite the same.
I’d be wondering just how much he does want to marry you.
By the sound of things, he really isn’t interested in marrying you…
and as much as I hate to say it, you might need to call the whole thing off, as a favour to yourself.
If he is lazy and uninterested in the Wedding…
He will be lazy and uninterested in the Marriage as well.
Perhaps you need to tell him straight out that unless he does a lot more to help you organise the Wedding, you are going to call the whole thing off!!!
I appreciate how much you love him, but unless he starts proving his love for you, it probably isn’t such a good idea to be getting married.
2006-08-27 10:00:45 · answer #3 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of guys aren't interested in planning the wedding since that is historically, the woman's job. I would sit down with him and ask him what he wants his level of participation to be. Maybe, he's just not interested in finding the place, but he would love to set up all of the music selections for the wedding and reception? Don't call it quits just yet...just open up the lines of communication...something that'll need to be open the rest of your life!
In terms of your driver's license, do you have any other family member or friend you might be able to go with? You maid/matron of honor? I think this falls in the list of responsibilities for the maid/matron of honor!! :-) My theory: The reason that the maid/matron of honor has so many job responsibilities is to prevent cases just like this!!
Don't stress out... take some time to relax...get your nails done or go shopping with a friend...
2006-08-27 10:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by Janelle M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys usually dont care much about the planning. Its just not a guy thing. Just talk to him and explain to him that you really need him to help you in some of the decision making and since you dont have a license, you really need his help:) You can also hire a wedding coordinator to help you with the planning. They give the best deals too:)
2006-08-27 09:58:34 · answer #5 · answered by wittlewabbit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if he's this disinterested BEFORE the wedding, how bad is it going to be AFTER the wedding?
You and he need to sit down and have a long talk about what you both want out of marriage. Sounds like he isn't ready yet.
2006-08-27 09:56:33 · answer #6 · answered by chrbarley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want this question answered? If he's uninterested and not pulling his weight in planning be prepared for him to have the same attitude about the marriage.
2006-08-27 09:56:35 · answer #7 · answered by L J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show him your frustratrion and get him to see that there won't be no damn wedding barbecue if theres no place to get married. you can also ask family, yours or his, to help you out at the times he can't, like when he's at work or something.... so you're not so stressed. good luck!
2006-08-27 10:00:35 · answer #8 · answered by bisita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a good way to start a marriage
2006-08-27 10:07:43 · answer #9 · answered by Michael 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hummmmm
time to show him what you are going to be like as a wife
take a stand...tell him HELp ME IN THIS YOU LAZY AZZ BUM OR I AM GONNA RIp YOUR HEAD OFF AND SHOVE IT Up YOUR BUTT!!!
2006-08-27 09:57:06 · answer #10 · answered by Cap'n Donna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋