My son has not had a paternity test, but I know the child is his. She looks exactly like him and his sibling. I have always had overnight and weekend visitations and often, week long visits. I have provided clothing, money, and anything that the mother needed. I have even taken the role of "grandma" to her other daughter, and take her for visitation as well since she was a baby. I am at a loss about what to do, because I feel I have no rights because my son's name is not on the birth certificate.
2006-08-27 02:15:54 · 12 answers · asked by Faith B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My son's name is not on the birth certificate, but the mother of the child has let me have visitation since birth. I have even taken on the role of "grandma" to another child she gave birth to from another man after my son's incarceration. I have provided both children with clothing, money, and anything that they needed if I was able to do so. These two children now live with her parents because we have reason to believe that she is on some hard drugs, and cannot provide a stable enviornment. The other Grandparents and I have a very good relationship, and it is only the mother who is threatening me. The mother is not living with the children, but the maternal Grandparents do not have legal custody. Even though my son has not had a paternity test, the child looks exactly like him and his sibling. The mother has never denied that my son is not the father, and like I said, I have always been there for her and both the children. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
2006-08-27 02:30:40 · update #1
Go to your local county courthouse and find the juvenile court room. Go ask the secretary if you can file a junction for a temporary visitation order and I think that you will be set a date for determination of paternity of your son as the father and you, if you are the legal grandmother, should have the same rights. Especially if you have been there from the beginning and have provided support and care, not only to the child that you think is your granddaughter, but to girls sister.
If you can't get anything done at the courts, then I would strongly recommend getting a lawyer and they will be able to help you. Also, I live in GA and we have an attorney 800# help line and it is usually free but I think for my state, it was $35 for the initial call and then I could talk to them as often as I wanted. Then if I needed an attorney to help me further, I could be referred to one in my city.
2006-08-27 02:29:17 · answer #1 · answered by brittme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you need is a good attorney and possibly your son's power of attorney. You need to speak to the attorney and bring all of your reciepts or proof of payments that you have helped to support this child without even having this DNA testing. The birth mother has taken these gifts and allowances from you and in doing such has left herself open to a lawsuit and grandparents rights laws. She does not sound very smart, and should not use a child to threaten someone and get away with it. Once the DNA comes back and proves the child is your son's, he will be placed on the birth certificate at his/your request, he will probably be ordered to pay child support( I know he is incarcerated, but if you are willing to help I would for your son's sake), and your attorney can also request for you to have visitation rights since you are the grandparent, or you may be able to request the money or some portion of the support be placed in an interest bearing account that cannot be touched until the child turns 18yrs of age, and can only be touched by you or that child. Years ago, grandparents did not have any rights, within the past few years those laws have changed. You have every right to persue legal visitation. Even though your son is incarcerated, they can still do the DNA test. The mom cannot refuse the court order for paternity testing, especially when you are helping and trying to help take responsibilty for this child.
Get a good attorney that can help, and see if the courts will cover the DNA testing. Make sure you show the attorney proof that you have helped support this child, you DO have rights, whether she likes it or not. I know someone whose son was in a similar situation, and the mom of the child tried to tell the grandmother she didn't have to bring the child to see her if the father of the baby was not around....wrong answer, the grandmother went straight to an attorney, and took the girl to court. The grandmother has weekly visitation, WHENVER she wants it, PLUS because like I said, her son, the father, is in a similar situation, she makes sure the child support is paid, even though she is retired. GET that DNA test done and proceed from there. Make sure you have a good attorney too!!! I hope it works out for you, children need their grandparents in their lives. I just recently lost my last living grandparent 6 yrs ago, I was so glad that my boys knew him and he knew them. It really meant a lot to me and to them.
2006-08-27 02:33:26 · answer #2 · answered by thedothanbelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Friend,
Before taking a defensive position, you should try to understand the root of the matter. Why after all this time is the mother threatened you? What is her motivatioin?
If you haven't done so already, I would invite the mother and granddaughter to meet with you in a public place, face to face to discuss the matter. I realize this can be a bit uncomfortable however if you "first seek to understand" the issues, you may be able to satisfy the mother's concerns. Help her understand the positives of you being involved in the child's life. This is about you being involved at this point, not your son. More than one try may be necessary.
Jumping to a confrontational position prematurely (i.e., getting an attorney) may do more damage than good. Be sure to exhaust all efforts in trying to work this out before going to this extreme.
Make logical decisions, not emotional ones.
Good luck.
2006-08-27 02:31:03 · answer #3 · answered by Bright Eyed Zee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she feels threatened. I think it depends on where you live if you have grandparents rights or not. You could court order a paternity test though, and then you can go from there.
Is the mother threatening you, or just the grandmother? You may want to talk to her just to make sure of her intentions. The grandmother can not do too much unless the mother lets her.
I hope all goes well for you, sounds like you are a good grandmother.
2006-08-27 02:21:05 · answer #4 · answered by kimberly b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not much you can do. Even if your son's name was on the birth certificate it wouldn't matter. The courts have ruled that parents have almost total contol over who can and cannot visit their children.
Unfortunately grandparents have no rights to visitation with their grandkids. When your son gets out he can petition to establish paternity and then demand visitation rights but that will be up to the courts. It stilwill not give you any rights to see the kid.
2006-08-27 03:05:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you might not much power in your current position, maybe being able to get the power of attorney from your son might be a start, but yes, immediately contact a lawyer.
I'm willing to put money on that she's doing some defrauding somewhere, it's not like she "forgot" to put his name on as father either. And though you may not have DNA proof that you are his grandmother, the fact that she's blackmailing you is a pretty big red flag that she knows something.
2006-08-27 02:21:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son needs to take a paternity test. He may be able to do it even if he is incarcerated. Grandparents' rights vary from state to state. You may have to get a lawyer. But first your son needs to establish paternity.
2006-08-27 02:19:03 · answer #7 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of threats, just out of the blue? is she right? did you did something? Do you think she is serious? has she done it before? Many problems can be fixed by talking, and in your case is what you should do, grandparents has no rights, if she decides to play hard ball you are in trouble, use paternity test as a last resort, the very, very, very last resort, you may have to present your case to a judge, even if you win, you loose
2006-08-27 02:27:15 · answer #8 · answered by class4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is the child's grandmother...why would you not want them to have a close relationship? You said she has had her every weekend since birth..you should continue to allow this and I dont think its a good punishment to say your daughter cant go to grandmas for the weekend. I could understand if the grandmother was a dead beat but its actually your childs father that is a deadbeat. I think you should be greatful that someone from the deadbeats side has a genuine interest in your child. Pick your battles wisely!!!!
2016-03-26 21:44:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a dna test asap den send it to your lawyer and get the birth cert changed so that they wont be able to snatch her away from you.
good luck!
2006-08-27 02:30:22 · answer #10 · answered by gweneth lynn paltfeir 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋