I've been wondering this in all honesty. I hear women tell me all the time "I want a nice guy" yet all I ever see them go after are trash that treat them poorly. I believe I am a nice guy, I am respectful, courteous, chivalrous... yet everytime I get to know a girl and eventually ask them out I receive the same answer "You're like a brother to me." I then see the same girls that once told me they want a nice guy that treats them well (which I am) and instead they go out with jerks who treat them poorly and cheat on them. I on the other hand hold doors open, am always there when they need to talk, and always respect them, but I get demoted to being "The best friend".
Honest question, what do women want? I am not going to change my personality and start acting like a jerk, because I was brought up that you treat someone with respect and I refuse to abandon those morals. Any suggestions or ideas as to why all the girls I have ever met say one thing, but act a completely different way?
2006-08-27 01:44:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
To answer someones question, I have tried talking to women at all types of different places (I've never been to a club or bar though), I've talked to women at parties, church, work, school... basically everywhere. I'm not the kind of guy just to walk up to a random girl in the supermarket or anything, I am not into the whole one night stand thing.. so as a result I like to become friends first, or at least really get to know each other before I ask them out on a date.
2006-08-27 01:59:11 · update #1
To the person that said I want to know how to get a girl to like me, that is simply untrue. What I am asking is for insight into the female mind, as being a male I am not privy to this type of knowledge... if women don't like me for who I am, fine, I'm not going to change my personality in order to get them to like me, I am who I am... I have morals and respect, and I stand by them.
2006-08-27 02:12:59 · update #2
Women are fickle - go for the girls who aren't changing their wardrobe every week and you might find a woman who knows who she is and what she wants.
Most younger women are still trying men on like shoes - they've still got their looks and they're going to "work it" while they still have it going for them.
Your best bet is to look for a woman who isn't chaging her wardrobe every week and is focused on something that smacks of "higher breeding" - good bet she's willing to settle down with someone whose interests match her own, who can be relied upon both finacially and emotionally, and who is willing to love her not for what she looks like, but who she is (and who she is going to be 40 years from now).
Try a bookstore.
We sit around and read our novels (a good "peek" into our minds just by picking up the same title and reading it yourself) and sip our coffees and WAIT for a percpetive and intiative man to ask what our books are about.
It's a simple open door into our lives.
*wink* Just a hint of the minds of mature women.
2006-08-27 22:06:42 · answer #1 · answered by pyrrhic_victories 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please be the man you are! most of the girls you´ve met haven´t made the experience what the difference is between a great man and an asshole! So i know for sure that you´ll find the right girl for you and this girl will be one of the happiest women in the world. Trust me, that´s the way of life, the best will win sooner or later the fortune play just for you!!! Don´t think too much about that...
2006-08-27 08:56:29 · answer #2 · answered by raupi74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess what? I recently read something that is related to your question... It is a story which may answer your question. Just to share....
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved
by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom,
as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have
a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer,
he would be put to death.
The question?....What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man,
and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was
better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an
answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone:
the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the
court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could
give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for
only she would have the answer.
But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout
the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk
to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have
to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the
Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had
only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden;
but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to
Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered
Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is
to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that th! e witch had uttered
a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom
and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a
horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed.
The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she
appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self
only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman
to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle,
an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day,
but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is .......
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time
because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now....what is the answer to your question?
It is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly!
2006-08-27 01:59:18 · answer #3 · answered by Pencil 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Basically women do want those things, to be treated with respect, courtteous and generous, but when they get someone who is nice to them they do not know what to do with it, they are not use to people being that nice therefore they may think you have an ulterior motive as they are used to so many men having one. Keep being yourself as in the end most women want to settle down with some one who will treat them right, ir just sometimes takes a while to get to that point.
Also it is difficult to move from the friendship zone to the relationship, lover zone as often when you are in that friendship zone it can sometimes be easy not to see what is in front of your face, they may think you are not interested as you are friends with them or may find it difficult to move from friends to girlfirend. Possibly you need to make it more clear at the beginning that you would like it to more than just friends quite near the beginning therefore there is no blurred lines or confusion.
Just keep being yourself and you' ll find someone who wants to be with you for you, not all women want the idiot that treats them like dirt, somethimes they just want to try it for a bit of excitement however, these are never the men you settle down with.
2006-08-27 09:37:19 · answer #4 · answered by CHIMP 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
women's empowerment etc. gave some women the idea that we must now act like men and try to "equal" men in everything men do.
in the process a large number of females " gave up " their femininity - seeing it as a great equalizer.
that is very sad indeed.
men and women do differ from each other, but no female who is confident with her own femininity would want it any other way.
it is these very same differences that attracts male and female.
it should be celebrated and enjoyed.
the differences between the sexes are life's greatest gift to the human race.
2006-08-27 02:07:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if I was still single I would date you! Just be yourself. Most women do eventually want a relationship with a caring, trustworthy stable man. However, there is something about a "bad boy" that also attracts women, they foolishly believe that the bad boy needs them and will change his ways. This is wishful thinking because a man does not change.
Maybe that is what women want: To feel needed.
Good luck!
2006-08-27 01:59:28 · answer #6 · answered by Courage 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your problem is you have not met the right girl. The girl that you are looking for IS out there I promise are you going to bars or church looking for a woman. What I want I already have a man that loves me, respects me, does not laugh at me but with me, my Husband does anything in the world for me and he asks for nothing in return.
2006-08-27 01:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by Carol W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK....... I want to help you....... I checked your 360 and you have great potential... But some women are just like men.... So in all tenderness and care..... " Hit the gym...." Buff up just a little and you may find you like it.... And end up really bulking up... This will build self confidence and make you feel great inside and out.
As far as what women want once they are physically attracted....? Be attentive but know when to pull back... Be fun and outgoing ......... LEARN how to F***K well....... Pleasure is great......... Learn to give it not just receive it. And make sure once you are in a relationship, make damn sure she is pleasing you too. Tell her what you want sexually , mentally, in every way......♥ Hope you get where I am coming from......... And best wishes to you Baby...... ~
And of course I am by no means saying to not be you, I am simply letting you know how a woman's mind works... And no one who is good hearted deserves what you have experienced. So in order to stop the cycle you have to make some minor adjustments... ♥
2006-08-27 08:42:29 · answer #8 · answered by Not Spoiled Just Loved♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't change. I want a nice guy, respectful, trustworthy, non-smoker, non-drunk, intelligent, good sense of humor, commited, monogomous guy that will treat me well and make me happy. It sound like the cliche answer, but it's what I want. Before I get accused of dating bad boys and jerks- I've been dating a nice guy for over 3 yrs.
2006-08-27 17:14:35 · answer #9 · answered by K S 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
U haven't met the love of your life yet... Just wait a lil and when you find the one, prepared for you, you will understand. She will be acting right;) Good luck to you!
P.S. in general all women want the same - love and piece... but some of them haven't realized it yet:)
2006-08-27 02:13:10 · answer #10 · answered by Safia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋