Spouse and I love to watch porn together I caught him looking at it on line his own secret I'm hurt why?

Question

our sex life is out of this world I watch porn, dress up for him we play games etc. but him keeping this secret and doing it and getting off he says as a stress relief really bothers me because i pride myself on being quite sexual and enjoy everything even looking at other women. He says it has nothing to do with me or out love and that its not even sexual I'm not buying that. And that he has been doing this behind my back for a year news to me. And that this is hard for him to talk about because he wanted to keep this his own secret the one thing he has all to himself. It just makes me question everything now. I want to be the object of his desire and get worked up by me. We had a very bad dry spell late last year not because of me new promotion at his work he was always stressed and I find out now that he wasn't satisfing me at all but he sure was himself. I need to understand the need for this why hide it when it wouldn't have been a big deal I love porn up for anything Help

Answer 1

This is not an attack on your sexuality or sexual prowess!
Give the man some space! The good thing is that he's not doing/trying that stuff with other women in the streets.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

It sounds like he might have a bit of a porn addiction. Just make sure he is not spending money on it. He might be hiding other things from you as well. Sometimes it's not good to "join in" and be so permissive. Sometimes it makes it look as if you condone a certain behavior. He needs to respect you as a wife and lover. Tell him he needs to just stop. When he does, hopefully, he will refocus his sexual energy into you-- the healthy source and away from porn-- the artificial unhealthy source.

My X was a porn addict now that I look back on it. And you know what the really sad thing is that I came to conclude? He was fantasizing about having sex with all of those beautiful porn women and using me for a warm hole just about! as vulgar as it sounds, but it's true. Sometimes I'm sure he'd rather have masterbated than bothered with me. He might have a masterbation/porn addiction. You need to break the spell and force him to stop or else this could go on forever--what works most effectively with guys like that is the threat of breaking up with them. perhaps you need to threaten divorce and reallly move out for a while. He will beg for you back.

Answer 4

you can not change what you have done. too late to turn back now. you have already given him your ok to watch porn cause you watched it with him. now he thinks cause you are into that sort of thing you understand his desire to watch other people have sex on screen and he feels free to do it whenever and whereever. he figures you didn't lay down any boudries or guidlines or rules or anything so he thinks you don't mind him doing it. a piece of asvice to you never eer let a man think that seeing another woman naked is acceptable to you, he will be watching a real one next. give a man an inch and he will take a mile. it's their ream come true to have many women as many as possible and all at the same time if they can. if you feel the way you do i would suggest that you go to him and tell him you made a mistake and you realize now that it does bother you more then you thought it would. tell him what you told us about how seeing him watch porn on the comp. made you feel just a suggestion. good luck with your situation.

Answer 5

All men masturbate whether they are married or not. This has nothing to do with you. It may upset you, but it is the truth. I am married and, like you, my wife watches porn with me and she gets really turned on. She also knows that I look at porn while alone and she is fine with that. Why? because she knows that guys have enough testosterone in their systems to blow like a powder keg if we don't get release often. Your husband is not cheating, and if anything, his private masturbation makes him want and appreciate you more. There is no formula that states "masturbation + marriage= cheating". If a guy wants to cheat, he'll do it with or without the porn. A guy who cheats on his wife has no respect for his wife. If you love your husband, and he loves you, and you know he isn't slipping it to another woman, let him jerk off on his own. More than likely, he's been doing it ever since he was a teenager like all males. This is natural, and it doesn't have any reflection on you. Continue to enjoy your sex life, and make sure he cleans up after himself.

Answer 6

you have 2 innovations: decision A: make advantageous that the home is empty -- i.e. no human beings, no pets, etc, and then set your place on hearth. while your husband comes back and asks what is going on, you answer: "I observed which you're watching porn on your pc and because i'm an rather insecure *****, i desperate to burn the residing house down." decision B: there isn't any such element as "fairly image and grimy stuff" while it is composed of porn. Porn is porn, is porn. have been on condition that?! specific, your husband needs you to try this stuff. No, you ought to no longer confront him, except you like the stuff he's been watching and decide for to test IT WITH HIM. have been on condition that?

Answer 7

alright, i know you are sensitive about this. but people can keep secrets, right? do you keep anything secret from your spouse? you should really give him some space. if you know someone too well, then sometimes to have an identity or to feel good, you want to keep secrets. it's good, it gives you a sense of power. let him feel a little powerful, a little manly... and let the guy do what he likes, why don't u go ahead and watch some online porn as well??? might do you good... that can be your little secret.

Answer 8

Well on the internet it's different because some of these porn sites actually allow communication.Ya know the ones were you tell them to do things and they do it.It is different when it comes to watching porn on t.v. together and then him secretly looking at porn on the net. I would check out these porn sites and see if its just pictures and movies or the web cam girls.

Answer 9

it does not matter how much sex he get if you gave him a 3 way with you him a girl he still at porn men just have a thin within there mind to see read it but most 99% will not carry out on it they will pick up notes and act them out on you but for the most part try to deal with it , it is not you its a mans mind

Answer 10

you can install a porn filter software like NetDog on the computer,that help you to block all porn sites quitely in the background when he's surfing on the internet. http://www.netdogsoft.com