i mean, when you met a boyfriend/husband, did your life change for the better? in what way?
aren't we supposed to learn to stand on our own two feet? and be happy with ourselves without filling the gap with a lover?
2006-08-26 21:56:52 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
yes we shouldnt lean on a man and be happy to be single tec. but that doesnt mean having a bf cant do anything for you.
before i met my bf i didnt want a family or a serious realtionship. I wanted quick flings and no seriousness. But now, he makes me want to believ in the happy ever after and our future.
2006-08-26 22:00:04 · answer #1 · answered by Nicky 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would agree 2 this sentence:We supposed to learn to stand on our own two feet and be happy with ourselves without filling the gap with a lover.The ratio 4 a guy 2 a girl is 3. After seeing my dad controlling my mum in terms of cloths and friends.I would rather be with a dog.Since I'm crazy about dogs.
This is my own opinion. If the guy loves u more than u love him.
Well..then i would:have my life improved significantly by introducing that man into it.
2006-08-26 22:23:23 · answer #2 · answered by FreeHuGs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to believe that all I was alive for was to be in love, married and have children. It was all I dreamed about since I was a child but mentally I found that the reason I wanted that so badly was because I was not secure in myself and thoguht that a man by my side was alll I would ever amount to. I do agree with becoming independant and its too bad that I didn't start learning this until after that 'lack of independance" destroyed my marriage! Someone asked me before I learned this, are you happier single or in a relationship and I IMMEDIATELY said "in a relationship" now I would say, I am happy either way. I am so much stronger now then I have ever been and I believe that is when we find out who we really are. When we are independant. Besides, guys think its sexy! :)
2006-08-26 22:04:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am able to stand on my own two feet, and have done so for many years. I have a great career, a fabulous daughter that I've raised for the last 2 years completely alone, and I raise and show horses. My husband died 2 years ago and I've been alone since (I do have friends and family). I was very independent before that, too. I recently remarried, and have found my husband to be a great addition to my life! He does not dictate to me, or even try. I don't need him to make me complete, I was before him! We complement each other very well, and that's what makes a good relationship. We respect each other and bring out the best....I adore him and he adores me, but we aren't attached at the hip, and do have separate interests, but are completely committed to one another.
2006-08-30 10:16:16 · answer #4 · answered by But Inside I'm Screaming 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said "filling the gap with a lover" LOL,
and 'ladyfromdrum' congratulations on the happiness your labrador gives you. Now just get him to buy you a Mercedes, pay for the running costs, and go get a good job with a considerable income, so he can pay the mortgage and ensure your financial security. Though what you're doing for intimacy, I don't even want to consider. Sorry if that sounds blunt, but I find it denigrating to be considered rather below something that sniffs poo in the park, chases cats and licks itself.
2006-08-26 22:38:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To quote my sister...I don't need a man in my life to complete me..I just need one to compliment me..
She didn't mean one to tell her she is beautiful everyday ..just someone to compliment the person she is..be her friend, be there for her, help her when she needs it...what everyone needs in a good friend.
Being married for almost 20 years...he is still my best friend, my lover, my life...tho it hasn't always been easy but yeah it has made my life better since I've met him. But then your life is always for the better when you find a special person to share it with....like that friend you can call at 2 am and she/he doesn't get mad because you woke her up and is still willing to just talk because she/he knows you need to. Living your life alone is a terrible thing... so ask this... does anyone really stand on their own two feet every second of every day? Don't you occasionally need someone to help you out by holding you up?
But, in order to be happy with a lover/friend I believe you need to happy with yourself first. You don't need someone to complete you...
2006-08-28 10:47:00 · answer #6 · answered by Bethie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom will say NO definitely not, she is 47, gorgeous and unmarried, has children with three different men and enjoys the fact that there is nobody complaining about dinner, or where she is going or who she is seeing. Divorced two times - both princes that turned to frogs after the marriage. She enjoys her single status and will NEVER marry ever again.
I on the other hand have been with my husband since we were 13 and I would say that He's life is better with me in it. BUT I don't need him to feel good about who I am or stand on my own two feet... therefore... It depends on the woman, the man and the situation you are in really... :)
2006-08-26 22:02:57 · answer #7 · answered by iluvafrica 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think my life would have been very different if I hadn't got together with my boyfriend when I did. I'd probably still be living at home, going out and drinking at weekends. I would have been ok, definitely wouldn't be as happy.
I think it's more important to find love than just, be with someone for the sake of being in a couple.
You can have a partner and still be independent!
2006-08-26 22:03:13 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel_03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is not filling the gaps if you do not lose your self-respect and self-control. Human beings need love in all areas of life, we all need the love of our parents, friends etc. and a boyfriend/husband offer you a different kind of love which i think everyone needs, too. when it comes to the need of mother, we dont talk about filling gaps so why to mention it when it comes to men. i think a woman's fear of not being able to stand on her feet is understandable but that is soo not true - it even looks like inferiority complex to me - so my life improved significantly by introducing my husband into it BUT ALSO by going to university, by reading books, by friends, by parents and none of them made me unable to stand on my feet. if i cannot stand on them, that can only be my fault or destiny.
2006-08-27 01:05:06 · answer #9 · answered by Zriah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who just wants a lover?
If that is all you want then tell your friends.
You have a very limited outlook on life if you are telling the truth.
My wife and I look after each other including housework etc.
Stay on your own and be happy and let life go on for the others.
Chances are you would make a bad partner anyway.
2006-08-26 22:14:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋