how to move on after a long term relationship?

Answer 1

tom_p nailed it in a short answer; kudos to him

FWIW, it's going to be difficult to not rehash over and over every experience you had during that relationship, analyzing it from every imaginable perspective.

In some ways, this is helpful: it teaches you more about yourself and it helps you to be better able to avoid future catastrophes. Of course, when you're hurting, those points are kinda lost in the pain.

Just remember that (1) the pain will get a LOT worse before it gets any better, and (2) it will eventually get better.

Avoid music that depresses you -- whether melancholy tunes or songs you associate with the relationship, you don't need to add to or maintain the baggage you're already toting.

Involve yourself in a project that requires a lot of mental discipline and/or memory -- like taking a seriously challenging academic course at a university.

The temptation is to suggest that you audit the course, but if you don't have your GPA and money at stake, it's too easy to just quit when your instructor/professor gives a 5-page test that has a 3 hour time limit and you spend the first 2.5 hours trying to comprehend the first line of the first question.

Quitting defeats the reason for taking the course. You need to finish the attempt, regardless the outcome.

Also, colleges and universities provide a forum for social interaction that will help you to focus on helping others, which will take your mind off your own problems -- and may lead to the discovery of answers you didn't expect, to questions you didn't even know that you had!

SOME (not all) Contemporary Christian music is very ameliorative; if you can find the good stuff, I recommend it.

After you're healed, you can get back to whatever secular stuff you're into: I'm not saying secular music is evil or anything like that -- but Contemporary Christian is specifically tailored to put you in a particular emotional state that is good for your soul. And a lot of it is surprisingly effective at doing exactly that.

Best wishes as you struggle through this.

Answer 2

It's a hard thing to do, but you have to take it one day at a time. Sometimes you may cry, but as the time goes on it will get better. I went through it and I just sat down and thought about the reasons it didn't work and I asked myself if I did all I could and if I was the best partner I could of been and it was at that moment I realized it just wasn't meant to be. Sometimes people are only in our lives for a season, not forever, but we can take what we have learned from the relationship and grow from it. Life does go on no matter how hurtful and bleak it seems. Surround yourself with those you love and whom love you. Let their love be your support and give it time. The lost of a relationship has it grieving process and allow yourself a chance to grieve. Time has a magical way of healing our hurts. I hope all goes well in your life and everything is going to be alright. God bless you.

Answer 3

They say that time is a great healer.

I know that everything will remind you of your ex, music, other couples, certain names, tv programmes, things going on in the news etc. This mainly happens in long term relationship, it will definately take time.

You need time for yourself. Dont rush into a relationship, or even have a one night stand. Go on holiday break away from all the hussle and bussle of life.

Keep busy. Do things to make yourself feel good, re-arrange your flat or house, throw out clutter, listen to relaxing music and listen to the lyrics.

Answer 4

i recently read where you have to grieve ending a long term relationship the same way that you grieve the loss of a loved one. you have to go through the same steps and process, and you can't rush it. the best thing to do is make a clean break and don't try to be friends. you will just be prolonging the agony. time really does heal all wounds. having said that, stay strong and good luck!

Answer 5

Stay busy, hang out with friends & family.. Join a gym work out... Find things that make you happy, discover new things you might be interested in, get new hobbies, go on a holiday overseas. If there were bad times, try to remember them so your not always thinking about the good times making it harder on your self... Try to not have any contact with your ex, have a total detox from them. It's like quitting cigarettes, it's best not to call them & or see them.... It's like opening an old wound.... It's really hard, time will slowly heal, best of luck... I hope this helps at all...

Answer 6

indexed right here are the top 5 reasons to contemplate why to decide for an prolonged distance relationship: a million. extra advantageous sorry than secure 2. You earnings time for different issues 3. It’s the superb try of seriousness 4. You learn how to treasure those uncommon moments jointly 5. you fairly get to appreciate one yet another

Answer 7

Its a process...first you have to grieve, you will probably want to just come home and sit by yourself...you will cry b/c everything you see or hear will remind you of them. Then you will need to find something you like to do, hobby perhaps....keep your friends close....then you can start remembering why you broke up, there must be a reason....try not to concentrate on the good times....time will heal your pain.....i promise..i just got out of a 4 year relationship that was very painful....but it gets better..

Answer 8

Make a list of things you enjoy or would like to do or try out.
Reconnect with people, activities or things you find interesting.
Seek out new experiences that fully immerse you and note your positive or negative response to each.
Be in tune with your fluctuating emotions - sometimes you will have a bias towards action, other times reflection, and sometimes having fun, and sometimes vegetating.
From time to time, take time out to reflect on your past relationship, or discuss with close friends, but do this in limited doses, and force yourself to move on to something that entirely takes your mind off it.

Answer 9

I was in a 13 year, destructive relationship. What I did? I decided that it was time to move on and finally do something for myself. I found a wonderful man to share my life with and it's all good.

Answer 10

Try to keep busy doing new things. Surround yourself with family and friends who will not be reminders of your ex.

Put your car in drive and blast some great music.

Eventually try to think about the positives of the relationship so you don't beat yourself up too badly. They say you learn from every experience - hopefully you did here too!