How long is too long to be engaged?

Answer 1

How long is a piece of string? Went to my friends wedding last night and they have been engaged for 20 years

Answer 2

More than 2 years.

Answer 3

I feel that an engagement should normally be less than one year, unless unusual reasons apply. Couples that stretch out the engagement for years are simply stalling. I can understand wanting to marry on a day that has special significance, but unless the chosen best man is in Iraq, or stuck up on the space station, long delays are silly.

Answer 4

It depends. How old are the engaged? Is it a traditional engagement, or is it kind of a "yeah, we'll get married someday, baby" engagement? Some low down dirty rats get "engaged" to a girl and hold it out indefinetly as a way to not really get married, but keep the girl happy. My general rule is: you're done auditioning for the role after a year, either set the date, or hang up the towel.

Answer 5

Its never too long to be engaged but a lengthy engagement probably does mean I have no intentions of getting married I just bought that ring to shut you up! You never, ever want to even think about getting married unless BOTH people are just dying to do it AND have considered the realities of what it means. Here are some other things to think about...

Consider marriage when you have been together long enough to be out of the infatuation stage. When you have discussed ALL the issues involved in life after the wedding like finances, division of household labor, children, in laws, where to live, jobs, time away with friends, and a million other things you haven't thought of. After all of that you consider each part of the vows, and what you consider is the difficult side of them, anybody can be happy when things are going well so,

richer or poorer....still want to be with them in a shack with crackers ala peanut butter for dinner...for the fourth night in a row?

sickness and health...they develop a chronic physical or mental illness and can't get around and can't work, still want to be there?

better or worse...they are in a car accident and you have to spend the rest of your life feeding them and changing their diapers, still want to be married?

keep yourself only to him or her, can you REALLY only have sex with only that person until you die?

THIS is what marriage is, not a fairy tale where everything goes well everyday, the one guarantee you have is that things WILL go wrong. Remember, you answer all these questions after you have passed infatuation, after you know what their bad points are (yes they have some and so do you) and still consider it anyway.

If you think you are up for all of this then maybe you should think about it. Don't forget to consider whether they would stick by you if it was you in any or all of the above scenarios. Check out the question posted here by married people and keep in mind that all of them thought this was the thing to do and the ONE for them when they got married too! There is a book called Lies At The Altar by Dr. Robin Smith, it helps you answer all this and go in to a marriage with your eyes wide open, if you aren't willing to consider all that then what you really want is a pretty ring and a nice party and lots of attention, have them but don't make that a basis for a LIFE. Good luck!

Answer 6

An engagement without a ring and a wedding date is to long!

Answer 7

If you are engaged for longer than the relationship was before you got engaged, (ex. together for 2 years before he proposed, but after he proposed you're engaged for 3-4 years), thats not a good look.

Answer 8

5 years*

Answer 9

Anything longer than 5 years is far too long. By then you should have saved a good amount of money to pay for the wedding and honeymoon.

Answer 10

6 months after I met my husband we got engaged. 10 months later we got married. 15 years later we're still married! If you know he's/she's the one, it shouldn't take long at all. You only need time to do the planning.