is it wise to have children when you're a bit older?

Question

i mean aged 35 - 45 as opposed to having them at 18 - 25
and what is the oldest a woman should leave it to have her first child?

Answer 1

Its entirely dependant on your situation. When your younger you have better fertility, energy, but less money and time. When your older fertility decreases and its a bit more risky. But you'll be more established, lived a little more.
The importance should be on being a good parent not necessarily the age.

Answer 2

I think waiting until age 30 and up is good to have a child, because you should be set with your career and financially able to care for a child. You should have a solid marriage/relationship and a home to bring a child into. You can safely have a child at age 30 to about 40 after that your health needs to be checked by a doctor to make sure no birth defects could occur. If you are older than 40 or even if your young, adoption is always an option. There are so many children born into this world to people that didn't plan their life right, or had unprotected sex, or died or just can't afford to raise a child, then the child goes to a foster home and never really feels that they were born to be loved and cared for , they feel deserted and lost without the love of a parent.

Answer 3

I can't beleive this qeustion - are people still thinking this way?

I'm nearly 35 and expecting baby no 1. No problems at all so far (I'm 26 weeks). Passed all my diagnostic tests with flying colours. Have not had any special treatment or tests or anythign because of my advanced decrepit "age" (hahahah! Thats BS, I'm healthier than most of the 21 year olds I know).

There is no way on EARTH I would have been ready for kids at 18!!!!! Or even wanted them.

My mum had her kids at 36 and 42. Two healthy pregnancies with no problems, two big healthy bouncing babies.

My grandmother had her kids at 36, 38 and 40. Three healthy complication-free, pregnancies, three healthy big bouncing babies. In the days before there was advanced medical care too!

So what is the problem??

As far as having them young being "better , well my BF's mum started trying for a baby at 16 and had her first 19. (My BF was her first). She had loads of miscarriages, terrible high risk pregnancies, still born babies and my boyfriend was not expected to live when he was born because he was so premature and sick - after being born to a 19 year old who was supposedly the "ideal" healthy age to have kids!

Plus her kids did not have a great life, she was too young and unsettled.

Its crap to say there's anything wrong with having kids at 35 or up. I can cite plenty of real life examples to the contrary.

Anyway, most people are still at school/college at 18, surely? Thats way too young! Late twenties - mid thirties is good time to star your family.

Answer 4

Well, I am 48 and I married at 26 and had my daughter when I was 30. I waited until I had done everything and felt I was ready and truly wanted a child. I had no problems physically or emotionally. I was thrilled, it was the most natural "high" you could ever have. Being older, I had more patience and didn't feel any regrets at all. I think I may have known abit more about children and their needs being older and my daughter is extremely grounded and very intelligent, not to mention gorgeous (she gets that from her father). I wanted to have another child when I was 38, but found out I had endometriosis and could not conceive and I was depressed for awhile, but grateful that I had my daughter. It made me love her even more. You should know when it is right for you, it knew it in my gut when it was the right time.

Answer 5

Your fertility drops off after age 30 and rapidly drops off after age 35. If you wait until age 40, you probably can't have children anymore, particularly if you've used the birth control pill for much of your life.

The optimal age for a woman to have her first child is her early 20's (like 21 or 22). By her late 20's, she should be finished having all her children.

Answer 6

I had four children. Oldest was born when I was 21, youngest when I was 37.
Personally, at 21 I was far too young and immature. I'm a much better mother now I'm older. More tolerant, kind and less worried about other people's opinions. I'm more involved with my children and see them as people, not at accessories.
Also, we're financially much better off.
I apologize to my older children all the time for the way I behaved. I hang my head in shame at my impatience and bad temper.

Answer 7

You should have children when you are ready, physically, emotionally and financially, to have them. Not before then.

But after 35 it starts to get harder and harder to have a child, so if you wait much after that, you might not be able to have them at all.

My wife was 35 when we had our daughter and she is glad she waited until then.

There is a greater risk of Down's Syndrome after 40, but it is no where near 33%, like one woman stated. Even at 40, the risk is still only 1 in 100.

Answer 8

No it is not wise. It is best to have children by the time you are 35 as there is an increase in down syndrome by a substantial amount. Like if you are older than 35, your children have a 33% chance of having down syndrome.

Answer 9

I just turned 35, and I have a 22 month old, and a 4 month old. It was not that hard, but I did have to have a C-Section with both of them, but now with both so close in age, I can feel it somewhat when chasing my daughter around. I am glad that I waited to have them though, because i feel that I have all my running and seeds sewed.

Answer 10

My mother had my sis and I at 30 and 33 then had our younger sis at 44. For my mom and little sis, this was hard. Mom had a hard time going through the stuff again and also had trouble fitting into mom groups which in turn left little sis out too. It seems that mom just didn't want to be mom anymore, but was ready to be GRANDma, you know, the kid goes home at the end of the day. Good luck with your decision.