I want to move away were my family is but my husband doesn't is it wrong for me to pick up and leave antways if he loves me he'll end up there right?I've been living under his control and I am not happy anymore actually i'm completlt miserable and the only reason I feel I'm still with him is for security reason's maybe I do still love him but I'll never know if I don't find myself wright after all I'm 35 this year i've spent 12 years with him and 9 years with my ex.who am I?Do I have the right to want to figure my own life out i'm tired of him yelling at me everyday over his life I want peace in my life and I want to believe in love I don't want him to ruin me anymore what would you do?
2006-08-26 19:06:48 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well mine and my wifes family all lived in the same city.. my wifes parents moved out of state (Retired) and she started missing them.. so I broke down and said 'ok lets move up there' so she could be closer to her folks plus we would have a better chance of geting ahead since the cost of living was DRAMATICALLY cheaper.. well a month and a half later she got mad at me and went back to where we moved from.. I was not innocent dont get me wrong but I didnt cheat on her or anything like that.. I did however make some bad decisions in the way I spoke to her.. but having arguments and name calling bouts I personally dont feel are grounds for a divorce.. especially after I just gave up my whole life for her so she could be close to her parents, who by the way are my ONLY family in the area, and will have absolutely nothing to do with me after this.. I moved with my wife and gave everything up and now am left completely alone and miserable.. I miss her so much too I dont know what to do...
2006-08-27 10:47:58 · answer #1 · answered by althor989 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know who you are that's a serious problem. I'd leave, get an apartment, and a job. Live alone. Not date and figure out who I am with no one else around to tell me who I am. I won't take long! Seriously, try spending a thrusday night alone, bored and you'll figure out who you are. If you haven't had that opportunity, do it. Even for 1 month. It'll be worth it.
Let me paint you a picture - a 3 hour marathon of your fav. girl show (me it's Gilmore girls), cheese and bottle of wine (or food and drink of choice), and pjs. Just you. Sounds good, huh? You'll have all the time in the work to sort out your stuff.
Of course make sure you're leaving for the right reasons. Counceling is a must.
2006-08-27 02:20:04 · answer #2 · answered by clivencheese 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly it sounds like you already know what you have to do. Your mind is made up. If you have any doubt in your mind pick up a little book called "The Four Agreements" and don't just flip through it read it. It's a small book so it's easy to read and finish and it help me change my life for the better. It's by Don Miguel Ruiz.
It points out some main things about relationships and love that I think you would love to know about. And if you have this book already read it again and remake the 4 agreements in your heart and then you will know what to do. So not just relations but life in general and it sounds like a little practical guide to personal freedom is just what you need right now.
Really check out the 3rd Agreement it's about not making assumptions. And take to heart that when you go into a relation you love them for them the good and the bad. You don't love them for what you think you can change about them. If your not happy with the way he is now and you feel he is controlling then maybe your right.
Think about can you love him for the way he is now. If not then maybe your right. I'm not going to say it, because it's not my place to say move out get away from him. Because I don't know him but you do for 12 years now. So pick up that book read it, and then make up your mind what direction you wish to take your life in. Because it's your life and your the one with the power to make a difference.
Best wishes too you.
2006-08-27 02:30:31 · answer #3 · answered by LeChara Johnson 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First I would start using periods. Your thoughts are all jumbled together which means to me that you are not focused. You have been playing out the bad scenes in your mind for so long that it's all a big, bad, ugly picture without any definition.
Before you do something rash, clear your mind of all distractions and write down all the pro's and con's of your living situation. Then, based on your list, decide on the direction you should take. One direction could be to be BOLD and stand up for yourself by telling your husband that you are done with his negativity. Do it calmly but firmly. Do not yell or allow yourself to fall into his game. If you just run away, your problems will follow you and you will end up with the same situation later on in your life.
If you Really want to change your life, watch Joyce Meyer on tv or go to www.joycemeyerministries.com. Joyce has overcome her horrible past to be one of the greatest teachers of our time. She has made a HUGE difference in my life by showing me how to be happy, peaceful, calm, relaxed, and to enjoy my everyday life. Thanks be to God.
2006-08-27 02:24:35 · answer #4 · answered by BBQribs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some damn good answers on here. I did give alot of thumbs up but "Bbqribs" lost me on the religous stuff but I got the point. Just do what you think is best. 12 years is alot to throw away but 13 is even worse.
2006-08-27 08:20:23 · answer #5 · answered by teddybar67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
running away wont fix it. you should definently evaluate your relationship,get counseling or something. if you are unhappy you should fix it or move on. do you think if you leave and he moves there you will be happy? I dont think you will and you will have gotten him to move where you find comfort once you realize that this wont work. so try to figure out a solution with out leaving. you two need to get some help or need to split up. but i definently wouldnt move w/out resolving this or you will end up miserable there. If he wont work to keep you happy while you are there, leave his sorry butt.
2006-08-27 02:13:50 · answer #6 · answered by doc2be 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've been in the situtation where I was completely miserable. I thought if we moved closer to my family, everything would be better. Boy, was I wrong. My advice...if you are miserable, leave.
2006-08-27 02:11:14 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Ma'am 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what you think is best for you. If your not happy anymore in your marriage then, its time to move on. You have every right to be happy.
2006-08-27 02:16:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to move away, move away, if he doesnt come, then he really doesnt want to be with you, if he does move then he wants to still be married. Arguing over what? geez get out of there, or it will be arguing for the rest of your life.
2006-08-27 02:11:19 · answer #9 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he is always yelling at you, then you should move away. everyone deserves some happiness. you should not stay if you dont love him, because there could be the man of your dreams out there waiting for you. go get happy!!!
2006-08-27 02:11:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋