look i love my boyfriend and he loves me. he have help me with all my problems since we meet. and i tham him for that cuz he is tha only man that was on my sid ealll tha way. we only been dating for four months,and its tha best four months of our lives. we both r new to a long distance relationship and that is killing us inside. i was tha one who moved because of college and family. when we talk on tha phone and things dont go his way he is fast to blame our problems on me. i tell him i dont like it and yes he do stop but it dont last tha long.i love him and i will do whateva it takes to make our relationship work out. well not everthing b cuz he decided that we should get married and i told him not now lets c what tha future will bring us. he only wants to get married because he think we can be together again.i really dont know what to do. my mind, heart, body, and family knows what were going through but i dont think he's thinking about how i fell
im 18 and he's19
HELP ME PLEASE!!!
2006-08-26 18:50:58 · 6 answers · asked by ~Tranell~ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You'll probably break up and move on. I did this at your age too. He moved for college. We tried a long distance relationship. It was REALLY hard. Horrible. I loved him so much. I eventually moved to be with him. And I eventually moved back home. We stayed together (on and off) for four years. At 21, we finally realized that while we loved each other, we weren't living the life we wanted to live. Being apart sucked, but living together meant one of us had to sacrifice what they wanted for themselves. That sacrifice didn't allow either of us to grow into the people we were supposed to be. It's a hard realization. But sometimes growing as a person (like going to college/work/etc...) is more important than the relationship.
Shortly after we offically broke up he met his wife (while good now, that sucked when I heard :( ). He's so happy and she is wonderful and they have two kids. I got to move to a big city, live the dream and while doing so, met my husband. Life is fantastic.
I know this isn't what you want hear--I'm not saying don't try to be with him. You might learn many things about yourself. But also realize that your personal growth is important too. And so is his. You've got so many cool a** things ahead of you. Just make sure you two are both doing what's best for the two of you, and what's best for you as individuals.
Good luck.
2006-08-26 19:14:52 · answer #1 · answered by clivencheese 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay.... the stress of a relationship that turns into long distance is well known. And yes, I've been there and done that. The stress of it is wearing on him now, and the reason he's blaming you (but you aren't to blame) is because having someone or something to blame lifts the pressure and burden of living through it. But it's only a temporary fix, of course because it's not the cure to the problem. He doesn't realize what this is doing to you until probably after, and of course he then feels like a heel, which makes things twice as worse-- he now has this on his head. Tell him this--helping him realize what's going on, and that neither one of you is to blame, will help you both alot. Work on the real problem: make it possible to meet, and do it if at all possible. Even if one of you has to take a bus. Love walked into both of you, and now (temporarily) it walked out, leaving you both want it and each other. Him wanting to marry you is the loneliness manifesting itself on him; he's thinking that forming this permanent bond will fix the problem, make it go away. Can you do what you can to become available to each other, so you two can have back what you once had??? Do it!!!
2006-08-26 19:07:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't get married! Finish your education, you will need it. If he is blaming all of the problems on you, maybe you need to rethink this relationship. Only 4 months? Not very long, is it? Just how well do you know him after such a short time? It takes both people to make a relationship work. You both are very young and you have a lifetime of living to do. Why don't you wait at least til you graduate? Tell him that's your decision and just see what he has to say about it. I'll bet that it won't be good. Both you and he need to grow up a little more before you make any rash decisions. I really hope this helps.
2006-08-26 19:10:34 · answer #3 · answered by organic gardener 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
clearly the factor of living far from each other is ruining your relationship. But It could work out but it needs lots of understanding, patience, adjustment, time, money. You too should meet up and talk things through. However usually the chance of achieving healthy long-distance relationship is minimal. So prepare the inevitable-breaking up may not far ahead.
2006-08-26 19:07:45 · answer #4 · answered by NikeT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't jump into marriage so fast. I really don't think the relationship will work. He seems a little selfish, and you should go ahead and get your education and worry about a relationship later.
2006-08-27 02:37:51 · answer #5 · answered by doglady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
finish collage and get and get a career first. if he love you he will be waiting.if doesn't maybe it was true love..........................marriage right now turn your world upside down.
2006-08-26 19:25:57 · answer #6 · answered by arturo r 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋