My husband(who is in the Navy)recently confesed that he goes to strip joints when he is underway. He claims that he just has drinks and looks. It really hurts me bc we have two kids and I am no longer a size 9. I would really like to see what other men answer to this and please be honest. Another thing that my hubby claims is that he has never paid for sex in his life and he isn't about to start now. "Thanks":Silverwolf2006
2006-08-26 18:32:59 · 31 answers · asked by silverwolf2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey sweetie, I know you asked for men to answer, but I'd really like to help you out here. I'm married, have been for 10 years, and when we got married, my husband and I were both in the Navy. Before I joined the Navy, I worked as a stripper for a year, and after I got out, I worked as a bartender in a strip club for a year. So I know a bit about this.
The number one reason I noticed for married men to be in a strip club, over and over again, is that if that is where all your friends are going, you're going to end up there too. And of course, men love to look. Women are beautiful, and the women who work in strip clubs are usually employed because of their outstanding beauty. There's nothing wrong with them looking, and it's no slight to the women they love that they can still appreciate the beauty of another woman. My husband would often say, "God, she's gorgeous! But she's not you." And that's a very prevalent attitude amongst married men. I've listened to a lot of married men talk to strippers, waitresses, bartenders, and anyone else who would listen about how beautiful their wives are, how much they miss them, etc, etc. Just because he's going to strip clubs doesn't mean he doesn't love you, or that he doesn't think that you are beautiful, or that he wants to, is going to, or is cheating on you. I'm not a size 9 anymore either, but I have no worries when my husband goes to the club, because I know where his heart is. Trust your husband, it sounds like you've got a good one. If he was doing anything wrong, he'd never have told you he was going to the clubs in the first place. Good luck, I know it's tough being a military wife.
2006-08-26 19:10:36 · answer #1 · answered by Nited1 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he's in the Navy all his buddies are going and he just can't say no. It's probably the only time he gets to relax and drink. I don't think its a very big deal as long as you trust him. After all I'm sure all the other guys do it and he can't be the only one that says no.. it's just peer pressure but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you or want you anymore.
Think about it - if you were off somewhere isolated and only with women and those women went somewhere alot and it was the only time you got to relax wouldn't you go? Even if it was a male strip club? Do you think there is anything wrong with that?
2006-08-26 18:37:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband is in the Army, and he goes to strip clubs too. Men are very visual creatures...in other words they love to look. I have in the past gone with...my husband and I also watch adult films together...and I am far from a size 9...22 actually. If your husband was okay with telling you about it...I wouldn't worry. Guys love to look at a nice little *** and a great set of ****...doesn't mean he'd hop in the sack with someone else. Trust your husband. In fact most men I've talked to that go to strip joints have admitted that they love looking, but they would never touch one of those girls....too "slutty, or dirty" Let him look. After being around nothing but a bunch of guys for that long and away from your wife...I'd say the guy deserves a look. Besides, you know who he's coming home to....YOU...and that's where his heart is.
2006-08-26 18:49:36 · answer #3 · answered by DawnMarie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try dancing for him so he won't have to feel like he has to go there. Sometimes the daily routing in a marriage can be boring and dreading for a man and that's when they start getting wandering eyes and desires. If he loves you, he shouldn't have too, but let's face it... men are men... they'll have wandering eyes and desires. So please him. Show him you can do what the girl at the strip joint is doing, if not better! ;)
2006-08-26 18:37:42 · answer #4 · answered by ME! 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he still loves you and treats you good, then let it go. Yes it's for the view. But women don't understand that a guy can look but not touch. He might own a Volvo, safe and reliable, but he'll still look at a Ferrari, Vette or whatever. It doesn't mean anything. You're a good wife, with wonderful children, don't mess it up with "female intuition"
2006-08-26 18:40:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hun, men are very visual, face it sex is on their minds most of the time and the best thing for you is to realize this and instead of fighting it join in... like you be more sexual as far as, in private of course, surprise him with nasty outfits, watch porn with him , you would be surprised how he would love it and probably not want to go to strip joints as much....If you make a big deal out of it , it only pushes them into going more.... If you do those things it really spices up your marriage and he will be more excited in coming home to you.... have fun and good luck....
2006-08-26 18:47:07 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is the same reason they watch or look at porn. They are visual creatures and they just have to look. I know this is going to be hard to believe but it really has nothing to do with your attractiveness. My husband is also in the Navy and when he was in Guam he told me he went with his buddies to a strip club. It's no big deal to me at all. Sometimes he and I watch porn together. They just love to look, that's all there is to it. It doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive.
2006-08-26 19:24:58 · answer #7 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
its called being immature and disrepectful not only to you but your marriage and your children....he should only have 'eyes' for you....do you think he gets excited watching these women...of course he does, how does that make you feel? probably pretty crappy....how would he feel if said you were going to a male strip club with your friends while he is underway? i'd bet he'd freak out....and forbid you. the thing is if he respects and loves you would not want to hurt you like this and he wouldn't want to go no matter what.if you believe in the bible then it states right there that even thinking of having sex with someone other than your spouse is the same as committing adultery, use your common sense, if he is willing to do this out of your presence, what stops him from having affairs? he says he has never paid for sex but did you ask him if ever had sex with anyone else...big difference. i don't want to ruin your marriage but its obvious this hurts you very much as it should and you have every right to demand that your feelings matter too, if its important to you then it ought to be important to him. good luck and don't tolerate being disrespected too many times women fall for the 'no harm in only looking' or 'look but don't touch excuse' it ALWAYS leads to more, don't fall for it.
2006-08-26 18:42:41 · answer #8 · answered by susie_q 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It is mearly Visual Stimulation, Men are Hawks, they have to see everything, have you ever noticed your hubby wanting to watch you two have sex in a mirror, or want to take pictures,or want sex with the lights on ect... Honey I think he's telling you the truth!!
Men Fantasize, and I bet he brings all the stimulation home to you!
You should be glad, some men don't tell their wives.
This question was answered half by my hubby and half by me, his wife!!
2006-08-26 18:45:59 · answer #9 · answered by buggz_41 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I used to go to strip clubs when I was younger...and in a relationship. I went because I was facinated that I could walk through a door and see naked women without ever having to be involved with them. I didn't have to talk to them, didn't have to express anything, or be responsible for thier feelings...I went to see naked sensual women....because I think women are beautiful creatures. I've never cheated on a woman in my life....never paid for sex...never will.
I never told my girlfriend at the time....because I thought she would be hurt. Sounds like he trusts you.
2006-08-26 18:45:52 · answer #10 · answered by markus 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋