Tell me a funny joke PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!?

Answer 1

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

Two guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper.

The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.

The driver says, "Why'd you do that?

The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready."

Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."

The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window.

The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.

The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"

The cop says,"Just making your wishes come true."

The passenger says, "Huh?"

The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that f@@@@r would've tried that **** with me!'"

Answer 3

A doctor, a priest and a lawyer are stranded on a boat in the middle of the ocean. They have one paddle, but a big wave washes it away from them. It floats several yards away, and the three see a bunch of sharks' fins circling the paddle. Someone has to go get the paddle.

The doctor says, "I can't go in there. Whoever goes in will need my services to save their life when they get back to the boat." The priest says, "I can't go in there. Whoever goes in will need my services to save their soul when they get back to the boat."

The lawyer says, "For Pete's sake. I'll go." and he jumps into the water, swims into the shark-infested water, grabs the paddle and swims back to the boat. He climbs back inside, completely unharmed. The doctor and the priest are amazed. "Why didn't the sharks attack you?" they ask. The lawyer replies, "Professional courtesy."

Answer 4

There was this Foreign Dignitaries Symposium where the Gentlemen were asked to describe their thing.
The British stood up and says, "Mine is a Actor, it bows after every performance."
The American wouldn't be put off and stand up and says" Mine is an Gentleman, it stands up whenever a lady passes by."
Not to be outdone an Asian stands up and says" Mine is a gossiper." "It goes from mouth to any mouth."

Answer 5

I never found this one all that funny but its my buddy's favorite-

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?"

Answer 6

I got kicked out of the local pool.
He said You can't piss in the pool.
I said c'mon man, everybody pisses in the pool.
He said Maybe but not off the high diving board.