help!! everyone says i need a "random hookup" to get over my bf but.....?

Question

everytime i come close to it i cant. i get knots in my stomach and feel like i am cheating on my (ex) bf..

i still love him.. he dumped me..


but is it normal to feel like this? what can i do to get over it?

thanks.

ps the breakup was like 2 months ago.

OH MY GOD PEOPLE. relax. i dont necessarily mean sex. just kissing, maybe more... if i like the guy, then sex.

seriously. breathe.

Answer 1

Yes, it is normal to feel like that.

It will take you some time to get over him after loving him, and it will hurt for a while too.

I think it took me about three months to finally get to the point that I was able to look at other men as prospectives for dates but it did happen. I am not saying at the three month point you will magically feel different though. It may take you a while longer then that, or shorter.

I honestly don't think a "Random hookup" is the best way to get over an ex bf. Honestly it will make it worse. You will have the pain of being broken up with your ex as well as a new guilt of the "hookup." The guilt of thinking you may be cheating (your not) and the guilt that you have randomly given part of yourself to a stranger who you don't love ...

To get over it surround yourself with good friends and find ways not to dwell on him. Realize that there will be things that remind you of him. Today I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of my ex of 8 months ... But it's okay. In time those memories won't hurt as much. In time they will become a bitter sweetness that you don't mind as much. It is bitter because you can't share them with the person who you will love next, but sweet because they are good memories that you would not wish to give up. It does get better ... It just takes time.

Answer 2

Yes, it's normal to feel like this and it is the stupides idea ever to try to get a new hoockup now.
Looks like you're totally not ready for a new one. And, if he's random, he's most likely to be not so great (what are the chances of meeting the good one, if you're not into it anyway). Then you'd have to brake up after a short time, that is never a pleasure. Particularly if you're still hurt by prevoius brakeup. Sure way to get your self-esteem completely down the drain.

Take time for your self, do stuff, go shopping buy ne dress, re-dicover yourself. Buy yourself some flowers. Be nice to yourself.
Once you love yurself again your old bf will be history. Then you can meet someone really good.

Answer 3

i've been through the same situation before so really do understand how u r feeling.....it took me a long time to heal.....

it sounds to me that u r not over him yet and it has only been 2 months after all so give it some time.....

if u r not over ur ex, it will make things worse if u just do this and it will also hurt the other person as well since u r not ready for a relationship yet...

give yourself time to heal, spend time doing some hobbies and things u enjoy and time with family and friends....

and when u r ready start dating again....

don't listen to what other ppl say but do what u feel most comfortable with...

ur heart will heal in time and u will move on and be swept away by another guy....u will meet THE ONE when the time is right : )!

All the best!

Answer 4

It takes time to heal from a break up......even more so if you are the one being dumped and the one ending up hurt. 2 months isnt that long ago and it seems sort of fast to even think about having another boyfriend right now.

You dont want to do anything on the rebound because you arent really ready and you would end up hurting yourself as well as the person you are with and right now you dont need anymore hurt than what you are dealing with.

Take your time and let yourself heal from the hurt you are dealing with now. It might take a long while for you to be able to date again and be ready for it.

Its not easy to get over being hurt or how you feel for someone, but I find that daily prayer with God helps alot .......It will relax you and in talking to God you will release alot of the pent up feelings you have inside. Also you can try writing in a journal and getting your feelings out that way....Ive done both and they do work. Another thing I did and I think you should do is this......any pictures of him you have must go infact to get totally over my last boyfriend I had to get rid of pics and letters he gave me......you cant get over him if you are seeing his face in pictures or reading letters he gave you everyday.....yes its hard to do but in the long run you will be so much better off.

Good luck to you and remember when the time is right and you are healed from this God will place the man he wants you to be with in your life.

Answer 5

Having sex with someone you don't love isn't the way to get over someone you loved. That's like cutting off your hand so that you don't have to feel the papercut you got on your finger. A much better idea is to focus your energy on things that make you happy that are seperate from him with bonus points for things that made you happy that you weren't able to do much when you were with him. Eventually you will relearn that there's much to love about life even without him in it and then you'll be ready to move on.

Answer 6

I understand your situation, I've been through it. In my experience, you just have to take the plunge, you have to move on. I know that's what everyone will have been saying to you, but still, it's the truth. Find someone you like (random sex will just lower your perception of self worth even more) and just go for it. Have fun just for yourself, take some time to focus on your own life and try to enjoy the freedom and time you get to yourself. You'll be over your ex in no time.

Answer 7

I am going to come off as a prude, but.... what the heck, here goes. I first ask that you listen to your conscience as you read this and let your conscience tell you what is truth and what is not.

Would you sell one of your eyes for a million bucks? maybe...but probably not, how about both eyes for $100 million? No you wouldn't because they are precious to you. These are just your eyes, how much more valuable is the rest of your body?

Why would you even freely give yourself away to some one? You obviously do not think your friends advise is sound because you would not be asking here. Whether you admit it or not, your conscience will tell you it's wrong, not because of your love for your ex b/f, but because you are giving something away freely, to some one that did not deserve it.

You would not be proud of doing this to get over your ex, you would be doing it to spite him. Trouble is, he probably won't care and the guy you slept with would care less about you any rate, unless he needed you for another "booty" call. Which then cheapens you in his mind and your own.

Take some pride in yourself, your body and soul are precious. Do not just give it away for a moment of pleasure, that will turn into a lifetime of regret.

Answer 8

omg i was in the same situation like 3 days ago.. let me tell you the truth..a random hookup will only make you feel good for a little while but in reality you only want your boyfriend and its not fair to you to try to replace him with another guy you dont love. just take it easy and dont do something that you will later regret or can make u look bad.
hope it helps and just remember this:
one day when he needs someone there he will want you back make him wait until he recognises his mistake of leaving.

Answer 9

"do guys act so overprotective like this?" The sane ones don't. Time to get a new man.

Answer 10

Do what is best for you and screw what your Friends think, if you dont want a random one nighter, then dont do it. Getting over someone takes time- not sex.