this might be crazy but see i have always been a daddy's girl. well every since he and my mom split when i was in like 1st grade when he has found other women he has forgot about his kids well i have moved back in with him now and he started talking to this woman and i told him that i couldn't live here and be hurt again by him and that i would live so i wouldn't mess up his happiness. well he quit talking to the woman and blames it all on me that i am selfish but the way i look at it i'm not because i am leaving so he can be happy. what is the problem someone help me......
2006-08-26 18:07:34 · 13 answers · asked by froggie_dk 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i have tried to talk to him and he just doesn't get it. i wasn't trying to make him choose i want him to be happy. i am 21 and have been going thru this since i was just a lil kid and i don't want to be hurt i want him to have a life i am young and have my whole life ahead of me so i understand that he needs to find happiness.
2006-08-26 18:19:52 · update #1
You're Dad seems VERY immature! Any Father that can blame his child for something like that, isn't being a good father. What you did was right..offering to move out in order to make him happy. Sounds like you're more mature than him. What he should have done is said to you, 'DON'T MOVE OUT' and that no matter what you will be put first. On the other hand, he may not realize that he does this when he has women in his life, so from his point of view, you are being selfish. Bottom line is... you need to tell him EXACTLY what you just told us...that he ignores his kids when he has girlfriends and that scares you, so you wanted to move out in order not to get hurt. If he can't understand that, then you'll just have to back off and he'll come around one day and realize what he has done.
2006-08-26 18:19:22 · answer #1 · answered by YUM-ME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your fathers guilt coming back to bite him in the ash, but because you opened the door, saying you couldn't live there and be hurt by him again, he's re turned his guilt to you. Get what I mean??
For starters, you were out of line saying what you did, yes a bit selfish, but you have to remember your Father is a grown man and no man can go very long without the company of a women.
You didn't say how old you are?? If your dad was slipping women in and out in the middle of the night, yes that would be wrong! But it doesn't sound like that! Sit down with the guy, tell him how wronged you feel about him deserting you when you were 6, but also tell him, you were wrong saying what you did, tell him you love him and only want him to be happy, and you will try very hard not to be jealous,but ask him to keep room in his heart for you as well!
OK you can get off the couch now, that will be $300.00 in cash, lol
2006-08-27 01:29:11 · answer #2 · answered by buggz_41 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize that ur dad needs a life too. He must love u alot to stop talking to that woman! Most men would not have done that. I think deep in ur heart u knew that if u told him that u wasnt going to live there any more that he would not talk to that lady anymore so u got what u wanted.
If ur a daddy's girl then u should want what is best for him and that is happiness not he being alone.
2006-08-27 01:20:14 · answer #3 · answered by Hilllbilly_gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My kid and I just went through this for almost 2 years. If you really want your dad to be happy, then just try to get along with this woman. Let them have their time, but make sure you spend time with your dad too. He will always love you just as much. Parental love and romantic love are two very different things. Best case scenario, he has someone to talk to about stuff and that will make life easier for both of you. Worst case scenario - she turns out to be a bag and they break up and you'll still be your dad's daughter. He's proved he's willing to put you first by breaking off with her even though it hurt him (or he wouldn't be mad about it). Cut him some slack. Do you want him to act like that when you're ready to date?
2006-08-27 01:21:13 · answer #4 · answered by R. F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, try to put yourself in your dads shoes, you would not always want to be alone. maybe when your trying to explain the problem you are yelling and shouting. try to talk things over by saying that you would like to let him know how you feel, and then without any interuption ask your dad how he feels about your feelings. let him know how the emptiness you are feeling inside is really affecting your life and the dicisions you make, don't give up. talking out your differnces is the best thing, but i understand if you just can't reason with him, too.
2006-08-27 01:15:46 · answer #5 · answered by amy z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably didn't see your offer as being nice, he saw it as an ultimatum (her or me). He should take into account that if he wants to see a woman she needs to be ready to see you as well. He cannot abandon his children in favor of any woman no matter who she is. You two need to have an honest talk about how things need to work. You don't want him to be unable to have a romantic partner, you just don't want to be forgotten in the mix. If he understands that you only need to be reassured that you won't be forgotten and you understand that you will have to make room in your heart to allow him to have a girlfriend you should be ok. It sounds like neither of you understands where the other is coming from.
2006-08-27 01:13:40 · answer #6 · answered by justme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well the problem is dat ur puttin him in a position were he has to choose between u or that women.... u should b able to live wit him whether his single or talkin to someone... n u shouldnt think dat ur gettin on his way if he seems happy when ur there and unhappy when u decide to leave,,,
2006-08-27 01:13:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are spoiled, your dad loves you a different way, and you should not be telling your mom or dad what to do...you need to grow up..your dad is probably looking for someone serious...and that doesn't mean he loves you less...so tell Pop's you won't ever tell him what to do....he is the parent...and should only be telling you what to do.... this way you won't lose his respect and you can stay close to him
2006-08-27 01:14:02 · answer #8 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent he is suppose to be taking care of u, he is so imature of blaming it on u... U don worry gal... Itz not ur fault... its better for u to stay away from him so tat he can realise his mistakes....
2006-08-27 01:21:46 · answer #9 · answered by Honey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has never grown up - has to ALWAYS blame others for his problems - he will never change - you will have to accept him with all his many faults or move on with your life. Good luck!@
2006-08-27 01:10:21 · answer #10 · answered by nswblue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋