how could i try to keep a better attitude w/ my husband, i always snap at him for nothing and we argue a lot?

Answer 1

If you love him ask yourself if he deserves to be treated the way you're treating him. How would you feel if someone else were treating him the way you treat him? You would probably be very upset. And if you were, the feelings you would have toward the person who was treating him that way should be the same feelings you should be having about yourself.

Answer 2

This happens because there's usually a breakdown in communication. Communicating effectively is an art to be learned, just like anything else. I know for me, when it's that time of the month my husband thinks I'm impossible to get along with so when I find myself getting really angry, I physically separate myself from my husband for about 10 minutes (longer if I need to) and either take a walk or do something else. When I've sufficiently cooled off, I return to my hubby and we talk about whatever it is in a calm manner. Most of the time it is about something really stupid so now, we are learning not to argue about something that won't even matter in the long run. It takes practice. It doesn't happen overnight.

Answer 3

Try out being the opposite. If you feel like snapping, say something loving. Give it a week of only saying nice, encouraging things, no matter what, don't fight be overly nice and see if his attitude toward you starts changing the way you feel. It can be a big change when a women takes the initiative to change the temperament of the relationship. Good luck.

Answer 4

I had the same problem with my spouse and what I can tell you from my experience is this....

If you fight alot and you snap at him (i don't know if he does the same with your or not) you might be resentful of something he did in the past, I know I was. You have to get past it and just remember why you love him. He may be an idiot, or a slob, or ignorant when it comes to women but remember that you love him for a reason. Try to walk away from a situation that you think is going to instigate a fight. When you tell him that you are irritated try not to attack him, instead say, " I feel that ...blah, blah, blah without saying the word "you". If you feel the urge to snap at him count to ten and if you still want to tell him something about what he is doing, try to do it without yelling or being really mean.

Answer 5

Try to pick your battles and not to get mad at him. I saw on Oprah or Dr. Phil or something that for 1 out of every 3 times that you have a legitimate reason to yell at home - don't.

Try and stop first and take a deep breath and imagine how you would feel if HE yelled at YOU for that same reason. Like putting the socks on the floor, or forgetting to hang the towel up, etc.

Now if something major DOES happen. Try writing out a letter to tell him how you feel instead of yelling. I usually snap easily also and so the last time I was really mad I wrote it out in a letter and we got through the fight no yelling - a discussion instead.

Answer 6

So many ways to anwser this. If its not because hes done something wrong or you feel neglected because he doesnt spend enought time with you or help you enough. I would say you need to stop arguing and start talking. Some people just have to argue because thats all they know. I think you both need councilling or at least to work out how you both feel about each other, cause you will not be going anywhere emotionally if you keep it up.

Answer 7

Try to stop and think before you snap angrily at him. Why are you angry? Are the possible hurt feelings and angry response you will probably get worth it? Try saying nothing while you are feeling angry and give yourself time to calm down and figure out why you are angry,then in a calm and loving way,talk to him about what it was that upset you and what the two of you can do together to solve the problem. Good luck to the both of you.

Answer 8

You need to do "work" on yourself, meaning learning about your psychology. Your attitude may be the result of learned behavior from your parents marriage, or it could be from an underlying anger/frustration in your marriage or towards yourself. It takes a lot of work to "know thyself". Try taking some relationship classes, or personal growth classes, usually offered through hospitals, clinics, sometimes even churches.

Answer 9

You need to ask yourself if you still love him. If you do then you need to stop being so trivial. Have you tried counceling? There might be something that both of you need to get out. Remember what made you say I do in the first place. If you find out that nothing works than maybe you should call it quits before you start hurting eachother.

Answer 10

Realize that you are dissatisfied with yourself and are venting this anger and frustration at you husband. Introspection might clarify the things that are really bothering you then you might be able to deal with the source of your anger and not take it out on your man.